Nobody Calls Me a Quitter {Unless it’s Behind My Back}.

It has been weeks since I’ve answered a reader question here at Archives of Our Lives.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I skipped all of February—but in my defense, it was a short month.  Anyway, there’s no time like the present to remedy the past (I think that’s how it goes).

This week’s question comes from Carmen (who, by the way, gave a nice shout out to me in a recent post on her own blog—thanks Carmen!).  Carmen writes:

Neat that you are in the paper. Keep it up. Hope you get published more because you truly are an amazing writer. Did you ask to write in the paper or did they find your blog or how did it all happen? Just curious.

newspaper-columnI was so excited to see my name in print, I took pictures.

Thanks, Carmen!  What a lovely compliment.  In case you don’t know what Carmen’s talking about, I’ll clue you in.  At the beginning of this semester, my first at the University up here, I happened upon a call for applicants in the student newspaper.  The job was a simple recipe column of about 500 words, and I applied straightaway.  I was given the opportunity to switch off with another guy, so every other week I have been submitting recipe articles.  First, I did pico de gallo; next came potato skins; and most recently, chocolate chip cookies of love.

newspaper-recipeNothing wrong with a little shameless self-promotion, said the girl who secretly dreams of paying her bills with blog revenue…

So, in answer to your question, Carmen, that’s how it came about.  I applied, and so did another guy, and we both were given an opportunity.  The end.

Only it’s not the end.  Unfortunately, since signing on, and with every passing edition, I have become increasingly disillusioned with the content of the paper.  The advertisements are crude and vulgar, often showing scantily-clad women of the night posed provocatively (don’t I sound like a granny?).  There are even ads for the local strip club, which I find extremely offensive.  Moreover, the actual written content of the paper is not much better.  Last week, the other recipe columnist posted not a recipe in the recipe column…but ideas on how to bake er0tic cakes.  Shameful!  He straight up used “P” and “V” (which I refrain from typing fully because I would hate to see the sort of creepies it would attract from Google™), and even graced the student population with an effer.  Lovely.

mypictureThis one is not edited, so don’t look too closely.

Lest you think I am harboring any sort of competitive bitterness against my “alternate” columnist, you should know that my qualms don’t stop with the other recipe columnist; those sort of articles are the rule, not the exception, and it has disgusted me to the point of not wanting my name associated with the paper whatsoever.  It is so bad that I can’t even send copies home to my dear parents, who were so excited for me when they first found out about my opportunity.  Even though I have every edition saved, I will probably never show anyone, because they are simply too vulgar for me to take pride in.

**CENSORED**I couldn’t post the evidence in all its entirety, or this blog would no longer be family-friendly.  Let’s just say, I don’t think Poor Kyle believed me until I showed him this ad, and then he was all like, “Yeah, this has got to stop.”  He’s a good man.

Last Thursday, I emailed the features editor (to whom I submit my recipes every two weeks), explaining all these ideals, and apologising, but informing him that I no longer feel comfortable writing for the paper.  I resigned, in other words.  I’m a quitter.

He wrote back and apologised for my predicament, said he understood, and told me not to worry about the articles anymore.  *Phew.*  Then…he went on to say he would like to talk to me about it further, and he thinks I should not give up on applying for his position. [Oh yeah, that was part of my email, too: I was disappointed because I had hoped to apply for his paid position once he graduates.  It seemed like the perfect job for me.]

Of course, it is one thing to resign via email, but to have to defend my views in person…well…I’m a pansy.  I pretty much break out in hives any time I have to engage in face-to-face combat confrontation, on account of how scared I become.  My legs shake, I get that pee feeling, and it’s always a traumatic experience overall.  I really didn’t want to do it, but it was the mature way, so I accepted his offer.  And this is where it gets really juicy:

He never wrote me back.

(Oh yeah, and by juicy, I mean anti-climactic.)

How’s that for a cliff hanger?

If you have a question you’d like me to answer in a similarly unsatisfying manner, now’s the time to do it.  Ask in the comment section of this post, or send me a piece of electronic mail via archiveslives@gmail.com.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in ask me anything, fiascos, my edjumacation and me, oh brother what next, watch out or I'll blog about you. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Nobody Calls Me a Quitter {Unless it’s Behind My Back}.

  1. Anonymous says:

    You never mentioned that the content of the magazine is so sordid. What a damper to the beginning of your writing career! So sorry. You’ll find something else, though. But that doesn’t make this any easier to stomach. Sorry, sis.

  2. anna says:

    Bummer! I’m sure you’ll have bigger and better opportunities open up for you.

    Hopefully you haven’t resigned from posting your granola recipe… :) If you don’t want to post it, you can e-mail it to me. Pre-thanks.

  3. Heber A. says:

    Watch out! Twenty years from when your kids google you they might find this rotteness at the beginning of your career. (;

  4. raygon says:

    WOW! Where do you live again? I had no idea people would be so liberal is such small place. I am totally shocked that is in your school paper!! I know it is college, not Jr. High but STILL!! Unbelievable.

  5. Whitney says:

    You are no quitter. Im proud of you for staying true to yourself. It is rather disturbing what they have in their college newspaper.

  6. colepack says:

    wow, must be a canada thing? Making memories though…

  7. Joel says:

    Yeah, student papers are generally profanity-laden pieces of crap. The idiot writers (no offense) think it is cool or something that they can write whatever they want. At both ASU and UM, the daily student-directed paper is good for nothing more than lining a rabbit cage.

    Not that I have an opinion on the matter or anything…

  8. HeatherPride says:

    That is classic. I can’t say I dealt with this during my college days, and I have to admit I’m a little shocked. Maybe I’m a prude.

  9. Holly Decker says:

    i am horrified knowing that nasty things like that are allowed in a college newspaper. i remember seeing stuff like that in the ASU papes all the time, but now that i have lived in Utah for a total of 8.5 months, i just forgot how horrific it COULD be. i mean, what if they shoved those papers in my husbands face daily? its horrific. i am glad you stood up for something… and it bothers me that there is so much evil in the world.
    i think i am MOSTLY upset because Jeff and I have been discussing a possible move to canada in 3 years (long story). and now i feel like canada is filled with nasty porn people. i am sick over it.
    anyways, i wish i had a fabulous question for you… i have always dreamed of being the featured questionere of archives. *sigh*… one day. one day.

  10. jethro says:

    Nice, on the post.
    WOW, on the comments.

    Porn Canada.
    Hm.

  11. Camille says:

    Anonymous my sister– I mentioned it now.

    anna– It will be posted! Probably next week, now that I know someone actually cares to have it. The one good thing to come of all this is that I’ve decided I like doing an occasional recipe post. Don’t fret.

    Heber A.– No kidding. That’s what I’m worried about!! : )

    Raygon– I was pretty shocked, too.

    Whitney– Thanks! Just the sort of support I needed to hear.

    Colepack– Evidently it’s more of a university paper thing than a Canada thing, but shocking nonetheless.

    Joel– Even some of the grammatical errors are atrocious! Today, in regards to a student government election, a contributor kept telling us to “mark our ballets.” Oh, I love marking a good ballet—all the pirouettes and pliés are so good for marking! Bah.

    HeatherPride– Try being a STUDENT going up against it; then you’ll feel prude. I feel like I’m the only one who feels this way, in a student population of thousands.

    Holly Decker– It is upsetting, but, like you said yourself, it happened at ASU; I think it’s more of a typical college attitude rather than CANADIAN. Moreover, I don’t think it’s fair to judge the entire country based on a student newspaper that is run by 12 college kids. To my knowledge, none of the Canadians I have met (or married) are nasty porn people. So give it a chance. That’s cool that you’re thinking of living here! What brought that on?

    Jethro– Indeed. I disagree; I don’t think it’s a Canadian thing. I think it’s a COLLEGE thing. Don’t feel bad.

  12. jethro says:

    I totally agree on the college paper thing. All rags. Even up here. Everything get’s so common now. Woe is me.

    (Private message to Camille, i changed my blogname url to myburntcookies. I wonder how long it will take ‘them’ to notice. This comment is the first operating link.)

  13. Holly Decker says:

    well, since you asked… [i DID tell you its a long story…]
    basically Jeff wants to go to medical school, and to avoid HUGE debt, we wanted the army to pay for us. however, the US army wont accept Jeff since he went AWOL from the army at age 21. now he is banned forever from the US army and thus we would have to use a different country’s army… he thought Canada would be the best choice. and i am toying with the idea… nothing definite, but who knows? it IS better than having millions in debts!
    thanks for making me see that all Canadians aren’t porn people… you are right, i need to see the big picture.

  14. EverybodyNose says:

    That makes me sick.
    Good for you for disassociating yourself from such trash! I can add this to my list of Reasons Why Camille Is My Hero

  15. anonymous says:

    I really respect you for standing up for your morals and quitting that job. You’re really not a pansy :)

  16. Carmen says:

    That’s awful that the paper is so full of vulgar things. I’m sure that some other writing opportunity will come its way. I can’t wait for the day when you write something big, like a series of novels that everyone just loves (like harry potter or Twilight) and I can say, hey I know that girl, she married my husband’s best friend. It will happen you just wait.

  17. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » {Ppl Mite Get ‘Fended}

Comments are closed.