Two homes divided

I’ve been to Mesa and back and I’m pleased to announce that it’s still a wonderful place to be. My teenage self is dying right now; I used to hate Mesa with a very particular passion reserved for teenage girls and hometowns. I hated the heat, the dust, the desert landscape, the cacti. I wanted very much to move to England and never call Mesa home again.

Funny, that.

Now, whenever I plan a trip down south it’s going Home, and the anticipation of going is exhilarating. By the time one trip is over I am already planning my next one. After 4+ years of living in Canada I still call Mesa Home.

It’s interesting, though: Home is now a bit divided in my heart. In the past year I have made a few friends in Mayberry. I’ve graduated from University and gotten a job and become more settled here. I have a regular hairstylist (well, I did until a few months ago when she up and quit on me), a family doctor, a massage lady, a butcher. (I don’t really have a butcher. But wouldn’t it be fun if I did?) I’ve relaxed on the whole crazy-clingy wife routine; I’ve finally figured out how to let Poor Kyle do his thing while I do mine. I’ve gotten to where the reverse layout of the local Costco is more familiar than the layout of my old Costco in Mesa (actually Gilbert). I’m more comfortable in the Alberta temple than the Mesa temple (despite getting married in Mesa), because my temple-going years have all been here. (Both temples, incidentally, are two of my least favourite architecturally. I suppose it’s just my fate to bond with homely temples. There are a lot prettier ones, I promise.)

Both images from here.

Just as my teenage self never expected she’d one day miss Mesa, my 21 year-old self couldn’t fathom a time that I’d say what I’m about to say: that Mayberry is kind of starting to feel like home too.

I am aware that this makes me a traitor.

I’m just not aware of what to do about it.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in Canada, change, failures, family, Married Life, on the road again, sad things, the great state of AZ and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Two homes divided

  1. Joel says:

    Embrace your ‘new’ home! I’ve gone through the same thing recently. I still slip and call Mesa home every once and awhile, but in my head and heart, Mesa is my parent’s home. Michigan is MY home.

    You rock, btw! More blogging, please! :)

  2. chelsie says:

    I am starting to know what you mean. I still don’t feel, nor do I think I will ever feel, that Utah is home. I am a transient here. Just waiting for the next part of my life to come, and like you, I have let my 16 year old self down by hoping that final resting spot will be mesa.

  3. irene says:

    we are all traitors, that’s what happens… you start liking a place you hated before once you leave, or things like that. you can’t imagine how i miss home when i’m not here :) can’t wait to miss home soon hahaha

  4. I know what you mean…I moved to Atlanta 4 years ago, and it’s just now starting to feel like home. My mom gets really confused when I refer to “her home” versus “my home” and having to acknowledge they are no longer the same. And in fact, I have not even lived with my parents in almost 10 years! Change is hard, but even more so on parents.

  5. James Pawsey says:

    Would you be offended if I wrote a post on the architecture of Mormon Temples? I think they’re really interesting architecturally, and I think some of the designs attempt to show a ‘spiritual aspiration’ portrayed visually by the look of the buildings.

  6. Alaina says:

    That’s completely natural! I think you can have both places as “home.” But getting older and moving away, you do start to have more of a loyalty to where you are now. It’s definitely not a bad thing, and no way are you a traitor :-)

  7. Granmama says:

    Home is where your heart is. Your heart is with your family which is Ky-Kee and your babies, Worthington, Remington and Abigal. You can love where you are and still know that a part of you is where you came from. “HOME:” is a wonderful word and yours is a place of peace, beauty and contentment. Dad and I look forward to visiting you and your “home” as often as possible. We do miss you and wish that home was five doors down, but we will adjust (at least until Worth, Remi, or Abby make their debuts—-after that I make no promises.)
    Love and miss you ( but are so happy you are home safely,

  8. Granmama says:

    Pull out your copy of GRANDFATHER’S JOURNEY (by Allen Say). I think you should feature that book on your block He says it so well when he says,”As soon as I am in Japan I long for America, and when I am in America I long for Japan.” This is a must read for people living away from “HOME”.


  9. Mayde says:

    I left my parent’s house when I was 18 and moved 100 miles away to New York City. I lived there for almost 6 years before it started to feel more like home than my parent’s house. And then I left the city and am starting over again. I think finding a “home” takes time, but it’s the people around you that make the transition possible.

  10. DeAnna says:

    It took me a good 6 years to finally think of Dodge as home; looking back I spent far too much time pining for the Bridge. Now I can’t see myself living anywhere else. I may despise the thought of living there ever again, but I will forever and always refer to Mayberry as back home.

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