It’s Colder Than it Oughtta Be in March

Colder Than it Oughtta Be in March

It was almost spring, and then…it wasn’t.  Too bad, so sad.  All day today, I’ve been singing the song “July {A Plain Morning}” by Dashboard Confessional.  Actually, I haven’t been singing the entire song, just the part that goes, “it’s colder than it oughtta be in March.”  Because it is.  Colder.  Much colder, in my opinion.  Everybody’s saying so…

“Don’t worry, Camille,” they say, “this is the worst winter we’ve had in a long time.  It’s not always this bad.”

Okay, then.  I won’t worry.  What did worrying ever get me but an ulcer and a hernia, anyway?  Instead, I’ll be happy, because I’m all about mind over matter, and matters of the heart, and the heart knows no end, and end of tangent.

List of Things I Like Better Than the Cold [in no particular order]:

1.  On my desktop there lives a recently-downloaded .pdf file. It contains the credit requirements for my degree in English—that’s not what makes me happy.

Bah English!

What makes me happy is that the file is called “ba_english,” and every time I see it (which is about 10,000 times per day), I think to myself, “Bah!  English!”  Which is funny.  Because that’s how I feel about the subject, and all my classes.  And about school.  And about the credit requirements I have yet to fulfill (which are many).

2.  Queen Helene’s The Original Mint Julep Masque.

Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque

It’s a masque, first of all, which is far superior to any ol’ MASK.  Secondly, Queen Helene made it.  Somewhere in the world, there’s a woman named Helen who decided to become French and call herself a Queen, and then market a super-inexpensive face MASQUE, just for kicks.  Helen?  You’re amazing, and if you want to be Helene, fine.  Thanks for producing the masque.  Also, what the heck is a julep?  Anyway, it doesn’t matter; you can buy it here, or at Wal-greens™.  I think it’s $3.99.

3.  The name Helen always reminds me of my mother. She’s not named Helen, but when I was growing up, she would always declare “Helen Keller!” in place of other choice swear words.  I love my mom.

4.  This picture text I got from my sister today. It was captioned, “The Joys of Motherhood.”

The Joys of MotherhoodHer kid is the fat one strapped to the back.  The one strapped to the front is her niece.  She got all situated like this, and decided she was going to walk to the store—to buy groceries!  Without a stroller!  My sister is so funny.  {It runs in the family.  [Funny-ness, not motherhood.]}

5.  That one professor finally gave me a grade I deserve. It’s about time:

That Heinous Prof.It’s a good thing, too, because she was sucking the hope right out of me.  As I sat to take this exam, I thought to myself, “There’s no way I will possibly be able to measure up to her la-la-land idea of quality writing.  At best, I’ll get another 70-ish%.  But I dare not hope for anything, not even a 70%.  I’d better be prepared for a 50%, or heck, even a 0%—never know what she might find wrong.” Hope-sucker.

6.  Re-stocked.

Fresh DDPI was getting sick of Diet Coke™.

7.  I’m about to be $100 richer. My sister and I have a bet as to whether or not I am hypothyroid-astic.  She swears I am; I hope I’m not.  I had an appointment today with my doctor, who ordered blood work.

Thyroid Lab WorkHe thinks it might not be necessary, though, because he’s fairly certain I’m NOT DISEASED! Only time will tell.  I get the blood drawn on Friday morning.  It’s going to make my sister really mad, because she’s super cheap, and would have liked an extra $100.

8.  I am now vain about my nose. I never thought I would be—I never thought about it one way or the other, in fact.  But now I’m just like Anne of Green Gables, who said, “I’m afraid I think too much about my nose ever since I heard that compliment about it long ago.”  And I, dear readers, shall forever be trapped in the same snare of vanity along with dearest Anne.  Busy Bee Lauren said, in a recent post on Niki’s blog, “I love Camille…and I just noticed she has the PERFECT nose. Such a cute shape. She should have a silhouette made to showcase that cute thing.” Wasn’t that sweet?

NoseStill, I don’t think it’s much to sneeze at.  Heh.  Punny.

The end.  See?  Mind over matter really does work.  I’ve forgotten all about how cold, snowy, miserable, and mucky it is outside.

Oh, wait…  I just remembered.

Helen Keller!

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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