{Ppl Mite Get ‘Fended}
Oi, another Monday. I don’t digg Mondays; not too much. I don’t know why—I have no scheduled classes on Mondays, but… I don’t know. I think Mondays are too much of a let-down after the loveliness of Sundays {though I’m told Sundays aren’t nearly as lovely if kids are involved}. At any rate, I don’t believe in difficult things on Mondays—it’s against my moral code or something. So today, I’m going to answer another reader question. It’s been a long time since I’ve answered one of these, so I might as well, eh? Plus, after writing so many literary papers this semester, my mind can’t really…think anymore. Call me a cop-out if you must {you’d probably be right}.
Question, from Anonymous:
Hahaha do you think any of the ppl you write about would be offended if they stumbled upon your blog? {This question was posed after a particularly bitter diatribe.}
Answer, from Me:
Hi, Anonymous! Who are you? Are you in hiding? In a secret annex? Are you a member of the Witness Protection Program? {I always thought that would be cool.} Why are you hiding behind your anonymity? Not that I can blame you—I long for anonymity quite often, too.
In answer to your question, yes. I think a good many ppl would be offended if they ever read some of the things I’ve written about them. My one wretched English Professor comes to mind. I have rhetorically massacred her many times on my website, and even more in the imaginary book in my head:
Here and here, to name a few (there would be a lot more if this semester would last a little longer {not that I’m complaining!}) As a matter of fact, back when I was writing for the University paper, and publishing my real name and my real website address, I was a little bit paranoid she would find my blog and read how much I hate her. Luckily, I’m done with the paper, and I’m pretty sure she is way above blogging, anyway. She only reads dadgum poetry and literary journals—deep stuff. {She has a Doctorate, after all…} She’s one of those ppl I will probably loathe until I die.
Other ppl who might be offended if they stumbled upon my blog: the ppl at Ford™, the ppl at Wal*Mart™, crazy nail-clipping maniac ppl, ppl who stab me in the back, Canadian ppl with poor grammar, kiosk ppl at the mall, and all the communist ppl in China.
Lots of ppl probably hate me, if you want to know the truth.
So now I have a question for you, my secret annex friend: Did you ask me that because you think I’m too harsh on ppl? What about the rest of you, my readers? Are you offended? Have you been in the past? Should I tone it down a bit? Do you think I should create a sweeter type of myself, a version 2.0, and just consider my blog thus far as a beta? Or would AoOL not be AoOL without the literary onslaughts? What do you say?
Because I know I come off a little bit like I hate the world or something. And I’d be sad if I’m giving ppl the wrong impression…
…because that would be a pity.
Posted: April 5th, 2009 under ask me anything, mondays suck.
Comments
Comment from Whitney
Time April 5, 2009 at 10:48 pm
You arent too harsh. Its really quite hilarious if you ask me. But then again you have never written anything harsh about me. The one thing I hate is when people do get offended at a blog post and then they cream you for it. Its your blog. Do whatever you want. Dont let people tell you what to do.
Comment from angela hardison
Time April 5, 2009 at 11:21 pm
You offend me ALL the time. And, well… I think you’re evil.
There, I said it.
Comment from Chloe
Time April 6, 2009 at 12:06 am
I like your blog just as it is. You’re sincere, and I like sincerity. A blog is a way to tell the world what you think and how you feel. And there is also the freedom of speech… So people might be offeded if they read this or any other blog. And if they are offended… the solution is: don’t read it any more! And besides, Archives of Our Lives is hilarious!
Please don’t change Camille!
Comment from anna
Time April 6, 2009 at 12:35 am
That is the meanest thing I’ve ever heard Angela say.
I think you’re real. Not many people write “real” stuff. And maybe I’ve never met you, but it seems like most of your meanness is beefed up with sarcasm. Yes or no?
Comment from linda rae
Time April 6, 2009 at 5:06 am
I am offended that you spelled doctorate incorrectly.
hahahahahahaha
Comment from Camille
Time April 6, 2009 at 5:39 am
Geneva—Oh, good! Thanks!
Whitney—Ha! You’ve never been an idiot, so I’ve never had cause to write harshly! : )
angela hardison—Okay, but will you still join the UBO™?
Chloe—That’s what my mom thinks people should do, too: just stop reading if they don’t like it. Thanks!
anna—Yes, and thank you. (She was just kidding, right?)
linda rae—Meanest MIL I ever had. Like I say, she’s the one with the PhD!!! I don’t deserve one, obviously. Why are you awake at 5 AM???
Comment from Lori
Time April 6, 2009 at 6:56 am
Since this is your place, you should be able to write what you feel like and if people don’t like it then they should just stop reading. I don’t think you should change who you are. I also do not like Mondays….ugh!
Comment from Maureen
Time April 6, 2009 at 8:56 am
I must have missed your posts about writing for, and subsequently quitting, the university paper. I worked for my college newspaper for 4 long years of long, depressing, sleepless nights. I was even the goshdarn editor-in-chief one year. You were smart to get out of it, it will suck you in and take away a little part of your soul.
Anyway, also, the “word” ppl. What’s up with that? It reminds me of one (or several) of my sister’s text messages. I love your use of it in this post, though. Fabulous.
Comment from Marion Naylor
Time April 6, 2009 at 10:16 am
So if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, Camille. It’s heartening to see you beginning to use “eh” instead of “huh”, a la Canadian poor grammar club. We’re making headway here; soon you will be completely indoctrinated….ahhh! happy day.
Comment from Jami
Time April 6, 2009 at 10:53 am
I love your personality…and I don’t think you hate the world. I think honesty is refreshing. I also think it helps people. I know when I look at peoples blogs that talk about how perfect their life is, it makes me feel funny. I am not saying that you aren’t perfect, I am just saying it is nice when someone talks about something other than everything perfect in their lives!
Comment from Lauren
Time April 6, 2009 at 11:08 am
My friend…I am sorry for the commenting absense. I have been overwhelmed. Like seriously..I cannot begin to tell you. Want to know how many emails I received on Friday and had to respond to? 114. Sigh…
Anyway…LOVED this post. I don’t like a lot of people either. I used to offend people all the time. But now, I don’t keep it as real haha!
Comment from Sprite’s Keeper
Time April 6, 2009 at 11:46 am
This q&a is all shades of awesome. My only content critic is my dad. He only chimes in when he thinks my sister would be offended by something I write/ I’ve only had to “edit” once.
Comment from Jami
Time April 6, 2009 at 12:08 pm
O.K. I want to ask a question.
“what quality do you wish you had?”
Seriously, I have such a hard time wishing for qualities that I don’t have. It is terrible of me, but I do it all the time.
You have so many qualities that I wish I had. What are some that you wish you had
Comment from anonymous
Time April 6, 2009 at 4:11 pm
awh you’re fine i’ve never been fended
Comment from EverybodyNose
Time April 6, 2009 at 4:34 pm
DON’T CHANGE A THING!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BLOG JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!!!
Comment from Tisha
Time April 6, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I’m pretty sure I’ve offended darn near everyone I’ve ever met at some point in time and they all seem to have lived (well, except that one guy…) I say, be who you are and people will either love you or leave you. Personally, I love you!
Comment from jacque
Time April 6, 2009 at 7:54 pm
oh camille! i don’t think you are too harsh. sometimes people don’t like hearing the truth, because it hurts. i on the other hand find your blog refreshing! keep it up.
Comment from Geneva
Time April 5, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Not too harsh at all. You write what you feel. I figure if you can’t write what you feel on a blog, what’s the point of having one?