It’s getting bad around here: I am really, seriously, 100% an English major.  I’ve taken the plunge and committed myself to the cause, however noble it may or may not be.  There’s no denying it now.

Know how I know?

Tonight, after my last class, I trekked out to my car in the relatively pleasant weather.  (By “pleasant,” I mean “even though it was below freezing, there was no windchill so it was like taking a stroll through the streets of Rome on a nice July afternoon.”)  I had finally rid myself of the two burdens I’d been carrying for so many weeks (papers which were due today), and I felt an enormous sense of relief and gratitude.  I realised I should probably thank The Good Lord, who undoubtedly played a major role in my still being alive, as opposed to dead in my basement from an overdose on DDP, and so I sat down in my car, locked the doors, and uttered a quiet little prayer.

I thanked Him for all my blessings, like the support of my family {relatives by blood and by marriage}, and quietly asked for one other blessing:

“I’m so thankful for Reading Week, Heavenly Father; please bless that I can be productive and relax.”

But something sounded wrong.  What was it?  “Please bless that I can be productive and relax…  Please bless that I can be productive and relax.” It took me a second, but I figured it out…

“Productive” is an adjective, but “relax” is a verb—my plea to the Lord was not structured in a parallel manner!  Horrors!  How would He ever understand what I was asking if I didn’t phrase it with clear, concise, and proper diction?

I started over, “Please bless me this week, that I might be both productive and relaxed.  Also, forgive me for praying without parallel structure for 22 years.  Amen.”

My English classes have seriously altered the lenses through which I view the world; I’ve got a brand new prescription.  Heaven, help us all.

p.s.  I talked to my professor about that exam. She didn’t demean me, which was good.  She did listen to my arguments (also good).  But, I only got an extra 1/2 point out of the deal, which means I received a 79% on the exam.  Still not a B, but, like my sister says, it’s not going to matter in 10 years…

…It doesn’t even matter now. I’m over it.  Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to visit with her.  I am not kidding: I read and re-read all the comments on my previous post, and once more right before my appointment with the woman.  It helped me feel more self-assured.  {I need to improve on defending my beliefs; normally I’m pretty much chicken @#(*&#@.}

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