A Winner Announced (Plus a Story for the Weekend)

I was supposed to announce the winner of this week’s contest yesterday. As it turns out, all blogging duties get put on the proverbial back burner when one is preparing for Girls’ Camp.

That “one” would be me and L. We’re doing a spoof on the BBC television programme “How Clean is Your House”, which is ironic, because…well…you figure out the irony.

So I will take a moment to announce the winner now:

I liked that Joel wrote, “Men in Need of Camille’s Honest Everyday Ramblings,” but it didn’t make me laugh hard enough. Honourable Mention, Joel.

I also liked SparklieSunshine‘s clever and extended definition of “Mincher,” but alas, I needed more of a laugh. Honourable Mention, and nice to meet you, SparklieSunshine.

The real winner of the contest would have been my anonymous friend–who could have won by sheer volume of votes alone–but the contest did require a blog link. So though I appreciate your input, I’m sorry to say that you didn’t win. [Same goes for you, RatalieNose!]

And so, partly by default and partly by sheer humour, the winner of the word verification contest is…

Loralee! Her comment was just the sort of absurdity I needed this week. Check it out in Tuesday’s comment list. Loralee, send me an email with your address [and don’t forget to include the retailer of your choice], and I’ll get the $25.00 gift card in the mail next week.

As soon as I get back from Girls’ Camp. If I get back from camp, that is.

Thank you to everyone for your entries, and welcome to anyone new who’s stopping by. I wish I could give you a better welcoming, but I’m heading out of town this weekend (to Girls’ Camp, in case you didn’t pick up on that already). I’ll be back by Tuesday, posting updates on the hilarity of my weekend, to be sure.

But before I leave, here’s a story for the weekend:

I pulled into my local QT to fuel up Tamra Camry before tomorrow’s long drive to Girls’ Camp. Lindsey, my partner in Girls’ Camp Crime, was sitting shotgun, and thank heavens. Just as I was about to open my car door, Lindsey shouted, “Camille! Is that Leroy* and Ken*?”

I looked, and it was indeed Leroy and Ken. They were parked in front of the doors to QT, leaning against the vehicle that Lindsey had so shrewdly identified. Leroy was my summertime boy a few years ago, and Ken is his partner in crime. Things with Leroy ended rather abruptly that summer when I packed up my belongings and moved to Canada. And we haven’t really talked since.

This is because I avoid Leroy at all costs. I have a deeply entrenched fear of all things awkward, you see, and I just have a feeling that any conversation I could possibly have with Leroy would be immensely awkward.

On account of me being married now [to a Canadian I met the summer after I left Leroy to move to Canada].

On top of which, it’s no secret that since getting married, I’ve really let myself go:


And while it’s fine and dandy to hear the advice, “Camille, you should really exercise. And get your hair fixed,” there’s not really anything I could do about it right there in the QT parking lot.

So instead, without a second thought, I started Tamra Camry, threw her into drive, and–as inconspicuously as possible–squealed out to the next closest QT.

And Lindsey didn’t even question my decision–we’re one like that.

*Names changed for privacy (and prideful) purposes.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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14 Responses to A Winner Announced (Plus a Story for the Weekend)

  1. Anonymous says:

    That was a very smart thing you did there, Camille. I’m with you 100 percent.

  2. Anonymous says:

    it’s nice just to be mentioned. congrats loralee, way to be out there.
    thanks for the fun camille.have fun at camp.peace love.

  3. Anonymous says:

    The only thing wrong with being anonymous is we have no separate identity. We’re kinda lumped into one mega persona. Why don’t we try to identify ourselves in some way. Who’s with me?
    Sincerely,
    Anonymous #1

  4. Geneva says:

    Well you anonymous people could create an account. But I understand the security blanket of anonymity is hard to shed. Anyways, I completely understand the need for avoiding ex-boyfriends. I broke up with a guy because I didn’t want to get married and… was engaged six months later. As for house pictures, how but you just come over? We will be in Mesa, a city that actually has QT’s, as of June.

  5. noncap anon says:

    i have an anonymous sort of identity, i think. i’m the anonymous who never capitalizes, names, proper nouns, or sentence starts. just can’t be bothered. i did go a bit overboard with contest submissions, and i think camille might know who i am. dunno really.
    i’m none too crazy for punctuation either.

    and thanks loralee, now i’ll never get that four-boobed lady out of my head.

  6. noncap anon says:

    well, almost never. i see i capped I in one acronym, and m,i,n,c,h,e, and r in another. seemed necessary.

  7. A Letter To Kayleen says:

    a contest? i feel like i’ve missed so much.

    there was a time in my marriage when i was in the best shape of my life and i secretly wished i’d run into one of my ex-boyfriends. but now i’m fat and i’d rather not.

  8. Anonymous says:

    well, i’m anonymous and i never capitalize anything either, sorry noncap anon. i guess i could call myself anonymous #10 (just because. however it would be quite easy for me to steal some other anonymous person’s identity, and v.v. oh, well. great story camille, i would have done the same thing. have fun at girl’s camp!

  9. angela hardison says:

    I have purposely avoided the awkward encounter with ex-boyfriends many times.

    And, I love QT. I’m anxiously awaiting the opening of a brand new one within a mile of mi casa.

  10. Loralee Choate says:

    Having not been on my computer for FOREVER I am totally stoked to have found this when I logged in. Yay! I won!

    I will send you my address when I actually figure out what it is.

    (Moving sucks. Have I mentioned that lately?)

  11. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    Good call. Being the passive-aggressive sister that I am, I TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY agree with your choice on the old boyfriend. Well done. I can’t wait for you to get back from G.C. I heard you got a fly in your ear. My first thought when Mom told me was, “Wow! She’s really going to make that into an interesting blog.” My next thought was for your safety. Apparently you have arrived in the blogging world!

  12. noncaplesspunc says:

    and the blog anonymous stratifies
    a10

  13. Sparkliesunshine says:

    Thanks for the honorable mention. I am thrilled to hear Loralee won. She cracks me up. Woo!

  14. cj says:

    my used boyfriends have the common sense to leave town

Comments are closed.