All You Need is Love…

…and an OB/GYN, according to what “They” say.

Whoever the heck “They” are. “They” say that I should go visit the gynecologist before I get married–I say “Hogwash!“, but for some reason “They” have more seniority. I guess “They” have been around a lot longer than I have. After all, I am only 20 (but I’ll be 21 by the time I get married, which makes me feel better about myself…).

They’re going to do WHAT????

When I called to make my appointment, the receptionist gave me a list of things to remember [come early, bring insurance card, etc.], and when she asked if I had any questions, I kind of had a nervous breakdown:

Me: Well, I have been dreading this day all my life, really. I mean, I have heard horror stories about this visit. I just know it is going to hurt, and I can’t even imagine how beyond awkward I am going to feel.

She: Oh, it’s not that bad.

Me: (With the vulnerability of a 5 year-old on his first day of Kindergarten) I know. The thing is, though… I am really scared.

She: (Pregnant pause [no doubt while she contemplated the lameness of some people in the world]) Would you like me to leave a note on your file for her (the OB/GYN) to be gentle?

Me: (Moved almost to tears by her kindness) Oh, would you? Thanks–that’s really nice of you. You’re really nice. I hope the good Doctor is as nice as you are…

I am so not looking forward to this…

Tomorrow is a really big day for me. If you have any spiritual tendencies at all, please say a prayer for me Monday at 1 p.m.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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