At Least it Wasn’t a Mini Cooper™

What do you get when you mix icy Canadian freeways, an Arizona driver, a Tamra Camry, a fool behind the wheel of a Dodge Caravan, and a guardrail?

Note: This is not my own picture.  Some other poor Tamra Camry suffered from a similar fate as mine, and I swiped the picture from here.

The answer?  Tears. Many many tears.  In fact, I’ve been crying so much today, I’ve become numb to the pain of it; I even broke down in front of a professor.  I can’t think of anything more humiliating than crying real tears in the face of a professor.  I’m so ashamed.

At least I wasn’t driving a MINI™.  (Although now I’ll never own one; I don’t deserve nice things.)

I won’t bore you with all the details; in summary, I’ll just say that it may be my fault, but it may not be.  But it probably is.  But I didn’t get a citation.  But I think I’m under insured (long, stupid story).  Which is bad, for sure.  The real sorrow of the entire ordeal, however, is that I’ve never been the cause of a collision before.  I had a perfect record which is now officially blown to smithereens.  (I wanted to use a harsher word than “smithereens,” by the way.  I wanted to say “blown to sh*t” but I didn’t.  See how I didn’t say it?  Aren’t you proud?)

Poor, unassuming, wrecked Tamra Camry.  She didn’t deserve this.

I called 911—first time in my life—and bawled to the operator.  And then I bawled to the guy in the Caravan (who was yelling at me there on the side of the freeway, saying I’d been going too fast [which I hadn’t]).  And then the 911 lady said the police weren’t coming (which is a bonus because my new 2009 registration sticker was sitting at home on the kitchen counter, where it’s been for the last two months, waiting to get stuck onto my license plate), so I exchanged info with the Caravan Man and…drove to school.  Because I was almost late for class.  (Don’t worry, though, I bawled all the way there.)

After class, I bawled to Poor Kyle, who rearranged his entire schedule to help me fix my problems.  (Which is a fruitless cause by the way, because hi!  Have you met me?  My problems are never-ending.)

And then I bawled in front of my Father-in-Law, who compassionately said, “It’s okay, Camille.  Sh*t happens.”  Which cheered me up considerably, like a good cuss word always does.

Then I continued bursting into tears sporadically throughout the rest of the day, including right before my mid-term.

Oh, didn’t I tell you?  I had a mid-term today, too.

Then I bawled (not really, but almost) in the next class when I got my paper back and saw a giant 74% in red at the top.  In case you forgot, that’s 4% LESS than I got on THAT SAME CLASS’S mid-term. That’s digression.  Exponential digression (I should have been a chemist).  At this rate, I’ll be failing in no time.  Sweet.

Then I really did bawl when the professor made me stay after because she could tell I was ticked about my score.  I just don’t handle confrontation well, okay?  And it made me cry.  And then I was so embarrassed, what could I do but cry harder?  Perfectly logical, I know.

And guess what?  You know it was a bad day when even a 74 freaking percent on an essay is not the worst thing that happened.

Quite honestly, I am hesitant to drive ever again, but I have to get to class, and I have to drive myself there.  Back in the saddle—I think that’s what they say.  (What a stupid thing to say.)  So it’s lucky for me, then, that Poor Kyle has a backup vehicle I can use—because, y’know, I didn’t total enough vehicles today…

Meet Menacing Dennis, who goes by the alias of “Thor.”  I think my head reaches the bottom of his side mirror.

At any rate, Thor has four-wheel drive, which, apparently, I need.  Desperately.

And how was your day?

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in Canada, failures, fiascos, on the road again, what a nightmare, woe is me and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to At Least it Wasn’t a Mini Cooper™

  1. anna says:

    Much better than yours. And I didn’t even have that great of a day. Sorry!

    I have a really good story that might just make you laugh. I, like you, had not one ticket on my perfect little driving record. Until four years ago January (yes, I still remember the month, it was awful and scarring). I rear-ended someone on the freeway. Don’t worry, I was safe as could be. After all, I was the THIRD accident in that spot on the freeway that morning (it was 6 am, mind you), so there were plenty of DPS and firemen watching me foolishly plow into the car in front of me. I cried HARD realizing how awesome it all was. The consoling cop that “had to” ticket me said, “If if makes you feel any better, I was pulling someone over a few weeks ago and rear-ended them.” At the time, it didn’t make me feel better. But now, I think it’s really quite funny. And my car was only almost totaled.

  2. jeff says:

    Ouch, ouch, ouch…accidents SUCK. Other drivers REALLY suck. I’m sorry for your crappy crappy day.
    After my last two cars were totalled, by the fault of other drivers, and i put my head through the window of my last totalled car while being t-boned by some jacka## running a red light, i’m scared to even ride in a car. And i haven’t since.
    Fortunately, Thor looks like he will keep you safe.

  3. Anonymous says:

    My day was about as bad as yours. I came home to see that someone broke down the back door of my new house ( at 9:15am) that I moved into a few months ago and the alarm company didn’t send out a signal. That shattered my safety and I’m afraid to go outside again.

  4. linda rae says:

    oh my poor, poor favorite daughter-in-law-married-to-my-youngest-son. What a terrible, bad, nasty, awful day. I am so sorry for you. Car accidents are VERY upsetting.

    Let’s go somewhere yummy for lunch.

  5. Anonymous says:


    I’m so, so sorry!!!! I wish I could be there to help. What can I do???

  6. DeAnna says:

    At least your okay, crazy mini van drivers!! I drive one, we aren’t all crazy drivers, just the morons who think they are driving a tiny car when really its a mini van. And your poor car, I’ve been in one accident in my life and that was when a big truck backed into me while I was in traffic at a red light, apparently he “couldn’t” see me. I was a little less emotional, more yelling than crying involved. And my poor car was missing the rear window on the passenger side, and the hatch was crunched in at the side, not a pretty sight. I completely should have taken a picture, but alas that didn’t happen. Enjoy driving “Thor” for a while!

  7. sarah says:

    Glad to know someone else is as much of a bawl baby as I would have been! :) I hate it when stuff like that happens because then I get all shaky for the rest of the day and can’t stop thinking about it. So did the crying soften your teacher up at all?? ;)

  8. Holly Decker says:

    that is the most dramatically horrible day ever.
    you got me beat.
    i am glad you arent injured… but then again, it sounds like you were pretty injured emotionally more than once!

    and thanks for your divorce comment, i too, felt it was a very bold thing to say.

  9. Whitney says:

    Poor Poor Camille. Im so sorry. What a horrible day indeed. I bawled yesterday but it wasnt because I was in an accident. Actually I dont even know why, oh wait… the home teachers were coming over and I was so tired so I cried. and cried. and cried. I could cry just thinking about it. My hormones are alittle off these days.

  10. raygon says:

    OH!!! I guess you are not hurt or anything since you are still blogging and going to school. What a bummer though!!!
    By the way, you are genius with the pictures in the last post.
    And I am going to dedicate my next post on my blog to you….a hippie coming out of the closet! You will see, you are not much different than I am!!

  11. HeatherPride says:

    Dadgum, Camille!! Listen, the most important thing is that you’re ok. And both cars were obviously drivable because the police didn’t even both with the accident. So the other dude who was yelling at you needs to put things into perspective. Hurt? No? Car Drivable? Yes? Mosey on along, then.

    As you know, I’ve spent many years in the insurance claim business and I would be happy to help you if you have any questions about the process. I’m sure the Canadians can’t be that much different than the Americans in that regard. Just message me on my blog if you need some help. Those come through my work email so I can get back to you right away.

    But the 74% totally sucks. No question.

  12. HeatherPride says:

    I mean to say, bother with the accident. Yeesh.

  13. Lindsay says:

    OH NO!!!! i would tell you to come to AZ for some comforting DDP and arizona weather, but the drive down here is probably the last thing you want to do…even in Thor.
    Being in an accident is scary tho, even if it wasnt anything too major. When i got rearended, i bawled more because of the shock of the whole thing, not because I was actually hurt…which really confused the poor cop who stopped to help me. He couldnt even understand what i was saying, i was crying so hard.
    I am glad you are alright tho Camille.
    What a shitty day.

  14. Katie says:

    My mom always says in times like these, “At least you have your health.” But what a crappy thing to say right now, right? Maybe tomorrow you can tell yourself that. You know, after you’re done crying and whatnot.

    I’m sorry your day has been awful. Go home, get back in bed, and have a redo tomorrow. On the bright side, it can’t get much worse. (That’s another really awful thing people say, isn’t it????)

  15. Kimberly says:

    Ouch that’s a huge bummer, I’m so sorry that happened to you! I worry about the day that I will have my first accident (knock on wood). I’m sure of having a nervous breakdown.

    I hope your week gets better from here :-)

  16. Niki says:

    Oh camille, you poor, poor dear. I’m so sorry to hear about this mess. Nothing is worse than uncontrolable tears, nothing! You have my heart today. I’m glad I could give you a laugh. At least Thor is pretty sweet!

  17. jami says:

    I had an expirence like that before I got married. I was going to pick up something for the wright house, while I on for food service. So I was in a hurry. And I lighly tapped the car in front of me (that was a illegal ). Well I got a bloody nose (first one of my life). And he was fine. But a police officer was driving by, and then had us move into the frys parking lot (we were on extention). Anyways, I bawled the whole time. It was terribly imbarassing. I couldn’t even contain myself. The officer was really nice. The illegal person was yelling at me…and the officer started yelling at him for me! What a gentleman!

    At any rate…I am so sorry. Car things are terrible. and uncontrolable tears are imbarassing.
    I hope that you have a better day tomrrow

  18. christal says:

    That is horrible so sorry not a good day! My day has been much better then that, that sucks, life sucks sometimes unfortuntely sounds like one of those days! I’m so sorry all that happened!

  19. Allison says:

    Just be thankful nobody was hurt. I have been through more than my fair share of crashes. Never ones with horrible human injuries but deadly to vehicles.

  20. EverybodyNose says:

    Camille my dear!
    I’m sooo happy you weren’t hurt!!!!!!!!

  21. Cyndi says:

    Oh, so much better than yours, thanx for asking. I was right there with you all the way, despite the fact that my turn was about two years ago and I have yet to get the bumper fixed because I’m so darn (edited) mad at myself. I hope the grades come up and you regain your driving confidence :hug:

  22. So sad… I hate car accidents. And bad grades too. But car accidents are definitely worse. Feel better!

    Oh also, cuss words cheer me up too. I think the ‘s’ word is particularly hilarious.

  23. Granamama says:

    Todo el dia ayer fue pensando en ti. Yo se que ayer fue un dia terrible, pero, gracias a Dios que todos esta bien—-esta es la cosa que es mas importante. Te amo y te quierro mucho. Mis deseos es que puedes tener un dia de tranquilidad y paz. Recuerden el discurso de Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin en la Conferencia Geleral en noviembre—-“Come what may and love it.”
    Con mucho cariño y amor,
    Tu madre querida

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  25. Camille Beaty says:

    And you drove to school after that? Wow. I would have called my teacher and left a crazy message like i was hurt or something so i was incapable of making it to class. Sad day.

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