Join me, if you will, on a full (two) days of reminiscing how horribly awkward I felt (and really was) at the blogging conference everyone’s been talking about. Every few hours I’ll post another humiliating experience so I can relive my shame in the hopes of getting it out of my system.
I have a whole year to fine-tune my cool.
Yet somehow I don’t think it’ll be long enough.
Awkward of All Awkwards #3
Chelsie and I got student rush tickets to see Promises, Promises on Broadway. (Review to follow sometime next week.)
And wait we did.
When she finally came out after 2o minutes, I was giddy (apparently I have a major celebrity complex). I was standing at the back of the crowd, but I’m six feet tall and I knew everything would be okay. As KC made her way toward my side of the throng, a French guy sidled up next to me wondering what all the fuss was about:
“Who eez zees pear-sohn?” he asked.
“It’s Kristin Chenoweth,” was my reply. I elbowed him to scoot over, never taking my eyes off the screen of my iPhone, despite my tremendous obsession with French people—I just love Kristin more, you see.
“I do not know zees name,” he persisted.
“Dude, Pierre, that ain’t my problem! Go to the library and look it up, buddy, and then get out of my way because SHE’S COMING” I said.
Not really. I just thought that. What I really said was, “She’s amazing.”
Then another guy in the crowd piped in, probably sensing that I wasn’t giving KC enough praise, and said, “If you’ve ever seen RV, she’s in that.”
And I said, “Really, buddy? RV? Of all the incredibly brilliant roles Kristin Chenoweth has played, you’re telling Frenchie over here about her redneck trailer trash mama role in RV? What about Wicked? What about Glee? What about freaking anything but RV? You’re an idiot.”
No, what I really said was nothing, because KRISTIN WAS NIGH!
Lucky for you, I got this whole exchange on video. Watch how, at :08, when it seems as though the camera is already raised as high above the crowd as it can get to catch a glimpse of Kristin Chenoweth, I JUST STRETCH OUT A LITTLE BIT TALLER, because that’s the kind of fan I am. My calves were sore for the next three days from the charlie horses I incurred, but it was worth it for this footage:
(Also, at 1:42, listen to the fan who tells Kristin Chenoweth that she’s with a friend who’s 4′ 10.5″ [half an inch shorter than Kristin herself] and that she is worried Kristin can’t see her. “I do see you,” says Kristin Chenoweth. I was just beside myself with adoration of the sweetness of that woman.)
Such a devoted fan am I that I even forgive Kristin Chenoweth for being, at least in this two-minute clip, an out-of-control gum smacker.
Here are the rest of the posts in this series:
Part the First
Part the Second
Part the Fourth
Part the Fifth