Daylight Savings Trauma

Daylight Savings Time is for the birds.

Image from here.

In Arizona (a state that does not subscribe to Daylight Savings Time), where I lived for 21 glorious years, the concept of Daylight Savings Time was sort of like the Tooth Fairy—I knew that the idea of it existed, but I couldn’t imagine anybody dumb enough to actually believe in it.

“Set the clocks back and forward twice a year? But…why? That doesn’t even make sense. I mean, how can we all just decide that all of a sudden it’s not the time that it actually is? Just because the whole country says it’s 10:00, that doesn’t change the fact that it actually IS ONLY 9:00.”

It threw my poor desert-rat mind into all kinds of terrible confusion. Finally, I had to force myself to put it out of my head completely, and thank the heavens that I was from a sane state and would never have to deal with the real complexities of such a horrible institution…

…ha.

Now, of course, I live in Alberta, a province that does subscribe to such lunacies, and every time Daylight Savings Time rolls around, my inner desert rebel comes out to fight.

Saturday night was the spring forward switch, which meant that when I went to bed at 11:00 p.m. it was actually midnight, and when I woke up bright and early at 6:00 a.m. it was already 7:00 and I was late for church. Dadgummit.

Daylight Savings Time screws with my mind. It hurls me so deep into the throngs of confusion that I can’t tell up from down, black from white, real from fake, or yes from no. My house becomes my own personal Shutter Island, and let me tell ya, Leonardo DiCaprio was going through hell.

Here’s how it went down for me yesterday morning:

Beep, beep, beep. Poor Kyle’s alarm tears me from my troubled sleep. I’ve had a restless night, waking up four or five times over the evening for fear of missing the time switch and sleeping through church (which might not be a big deal if I wasn’t the organist for my congregation every Sunday at 9:00 a.m., but I am and it is, so let’s not waste time on hypotheticals).

Me: Babe. Babe! What time is it?

PK: Muhhhhhhhhhmbf.

Me: Kyle. Kyle! Wake up. Your alarm’s going off. What time is it?

PK: Guuuuuuuuuumbf. Six o’clock.

Me: Six o’clock real time or six o’clock fake time?

PK (clearly too unconscious to be dealing with such philosophical conundrums, and who can blame him): Leave me alone.

Me: I can’t leave you alone, I need to know if I can sleep another hour or if I have to get up and get ready. (By this time I was really starting to feel stressed, because if it was actually six o’clock, I could sleep for another hour, but if it was really seven o’clock, I needed to be in the shower.)

PK: Our phones switched in the night. It’s six o’clock.

Me: I know they’re supposed to switch, but are you sure they switched? How do you know?

PK: Leave me alone.

Me (unable to let it rest for fear of being an hour late to church): I’m gonna go check the other clocks in the house.

PK: I don’t care what you do, woman, so long as you stop this insufferable noise you’re making.

Me: It’s called talking.

PK: Yeah, and I can’t stand to hear it.

I stumbled wearily around the house, checking our digital atomic clocks first: they both read six o’clock, which meant I still had another hour to sleep. Sweet. As I trudged past the kitchen on my way back to bed, though, the oven clock caught my eye: 6:00.

Wait, what? That one’s not supposed to switch on its own.

I redoubled my house search, only to find that all the old-fashioned wall clocks with hour and minute hands read 6:00, too, or various stages of 6:00—they’re all wrong on a good day. (I have battery problems.)

So, wait. If all the digital clocks were supposed to switch, and they all match each other, but they also all match the analog clocks, then that means that NO clocks switched. Unless someone came into our house in the middle of the night and switched them for us, which, living in Mayberry, I wouldn’t put it past our neighbor, Aunt Bea, to pull such a generous Time Fairy stunt like that.  I should call her and ask if she did. But if it’s really six o’clock, then it would be five o’clock in her head, and that’s a bit too early to be calling the neighbors. But if it’s really seven o’clock, then I really need to know. I hate Daylight Savings Time Days; this whole idea is lame, and now I’m going to be late for church, and I’m really tired, and Poor Kyle is just lounging his life away in bed without a care in the world, and DAMMIT, WHAT THE HELL TIME IS IT?!

I know it’s not nice to cuss, but I’m just relating to you my exact thoughts from yesterday morning, verbatim. I really was that stressed.

Finally I got smart and checked my trusty laptop, the only piece of technology I can depend upon in this pathetic house, and sure enough, it was actually 7:00 (well, by this time it was 7:15), which—you guessed it—meant that not only did I not get my extra hour of sleep, but also, I was gonna have to rush my shower.

In the end I was not late to church, but it was no thanks to my iPhone™, which betrayed my trust in every sense of the words, both betrayed and trust. Tell, me, Apple™, how is it that I can own the best phone money can buy (or at least the awesomest), a phone that can calculate my BMI, teach me French, and direct me within one metre to the nearest toilet, yet it cannot handle the simple yet absolutely necessary task of switching to Daylight Savings Time (which I have specifically set it to do)—a task which every p.o.s. phone I’ve owned in years past has handled with all the grace and dignity that free (with contract) T-mobile™ phones can muster? Tell me, please.

Why can’t expensive technology just perform the basic functions it promises? I could see if it miscalculated my calorie intake vs. calories burned, because, you know, that’s a hard job even for a human…but struggling to TELL THE TIME? Any garbage phone can do that.

To say I was disappointed would not even come close.

(p.s. Something really is screwy with my phone now, because even though the time on the phone is correct, the time in the text messaging function is TWO HOURS AHEAD of the real time. Even if it hadn’t switched to DST, it would be ONE HOUR BEHIND the real time…not TWO HOURS AHEAD. What in the…? Why am I using so many capital letters? Why is my life so hard? These are questions that haunt me.)

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in Canada, change, fiascos, I hate change, mediocrity, oh brother what next, woe is me and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Daylight Savings Trauma

  1. jacque says:

    ugh i hate day light savings time too! this is my 3rd year dealing with its shenanigans and let me tell you i have the same fears as you! i may not have an important church calling like the organist but coming from a state where no such thing exists… i feel ya!

  2. Maureen says:

    I was baffled by daylight savings time this weekend as well, and I have been subject to it all my life.

    I was actually having this exact cell phone discussion topic with a woman from Tucson who I picked up from the airport this morning. She was glad her phone had switched over to NM time and was telling me how her brother has a fancy phone that does everything except automatically switch the time. I find this odd. My texts are two hours ahead as well. I think it might have something to do with purchasing the phone in Michigan but I don’t understand why it can’t just change the time on everything all at once. Modern technology is confusing!

  3. Springing forward always screws with me. But Falling back is a joy! I do however enjoy the extra daylight for my commute home at night. Cute post!

  4. Liz says:

    I blame Canada. My iPhone is completely normal! ;)

  5. Spencer says:

    Three words: Android OS Phone. Oh and four more words: Move back to Arizona. Spring training baseball is going on and my wife and I can sit on our porch swing all evening long in March..

  6. Joel says:

    This is the only reason I could see for ever returning to Arizona on a permanent basis. I think that switching clocks is about the absolute dumbest idea ever in the history of man.

    Oh, I might go back to AZ for the Mexican food. The crap here is really lousy. And any “mexican” I’ve had outside of AZ has been really lousy. Probably would be good in TX or NM too, though. But then I’d have to switch my clocks still…

    Still, we won’t ever move back to Arizona. I’m sure of it.

  7. I have always thought that they had daylight savings time all wrong. I would much rather have it that the sun rises and sets (around) the same time every day. Changing the time so that the sun now rises an hour later is just wrong.

    You may want to check to make sure that if there is such a thing as a setting to tell the device that it is currently in daylight savings time that it is currently checked. That may explain why the texts are 2 hours off (it’s over-compensating).

  8. Jordan says:

    to get my phone to switch I’ve always had to make/get a call or text. Otherwise it stays in the old time. I just make sure to change my clock by the bed before I go to sleep on these special crazy time switching days.

  9. Mikelle says:

    Word. I hate Daylight savings time. It messes my kids sleeping up too.

  10. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » Daylight Savings Trauma » dontbel8.com

  11. I love Arizona.

    And I just ordered lush, a move inspired by you. don’t let it go to your head.

    And, a guy up there said, “And any “mexican” I’ve had outside of AZ has been really lousy.”
    and I laughed. and will probably come back to laugh at it later.

  12. GRANMAMA says:

    The blossoms are ready to bud out. Love Ya.
    MA

  13. Amy says:

    I have lived in the Central Time zone my whole life. Trust me, I am TOTALLY with you during the “spring forward” time. However…it is SO nice when I can get that extra hour of sleep in the fall!

    But is it REALLY worth the struggle in the spring?

    Only God knows.

  14. Daylight Saving Time is insane. I miss Arizona. I still can’t figure it out. Luckily my phone always changes. I don’t know what would happen if it didn’t change.

  15. whitney says:

    ugh. thats rough. Just another reason you should drag PK to Arizona forever.

  16. Kristen says:

    I have dealt with this twice yearly changing of the clocks my whole life and it is only with this post that I have begun to question why on EARTH do we do this to ourselves. If we are changing it to Daylight Savings Time so there is more light during the day why not just keep it that way. I don’t know about you but I would love it if it would stay lighter longer during the day. Arg, I just don’t know why we are still putting up with this. It truly is ridiculous isn’t it?

  17. on saturday my phone said it was 6:04pm when in fact it was 5:22pm, as confirmed by several other cell phones and clocks. i was really confused and thrown off all evening. there’s no way to explain the error other than the iphone sucks. (and i love it anyway.)

  18. Chloe says:

    I HATE Daylight Savings Time. I have dealt with it my whole life. I find it useless and stupid.

  19. Jeff L. says:

    Just to let you know, I believe you owe Apple an apology post! :) It’s that absolutely RETARDED telus (intentionally not capitalized) that is responsible for setting the time on your cell phone remotely. Have you EVER had to set the time on any phone? Why would your Apple laptop be updated and not your Apple phone?? And while you’re at it, please write a flaming blog posting about telus and it’s pathetic-ness in general.

    Yes, I am that bitter. And yes, I am an ‘Apple fanboy’. :)

  20. Bethany says:

    Oh my gosh! When I lived in Italy Daylight Savings Time stressed me out just as much as it did to you! I feel your pain. I am glad I live back in AZ with no worry of that ridiculousness!

  21. Shesten says:

    It’s your carrier. Your carrier tells your phone what time it is. UNLESS, you have some smartphones (to which I can only speak to the Blackberry) that does not automatically switch. But, there’s a good reason for that. Originally, berries were designed for business and travelers. When you’re constantly traveling between time zones, it’s easier to do the math and figure out what time it is where you are from your static clock on your device than to keep checking to see if you’ve really got the right time or not. I actually preferred the Canadian RIM’s reasoning, as it made it a lot easier to connect with whoever was in the office and/or at home.

    My Droid switches over automatically, and it does all the stuff your iPhone does, so now I will argue that per your criteria, the Droid is the best phone in the world ;oP

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