Yesterday marked my first day of the detox that I’m already suspicious of.
For those of you who have expressed concern over my health and the grave danger of detoxing one’s own body, please. Fear not. I am not doing a lemon-cayenne pepper-water-honey-Grade B maple syrup detox. I am not doing a water-only fast. I am not denying my body nutrients. I am not starving myself.
What I am doing is eating stringently healthy for a period of time, and not breaking a single rule. My idea of a detox.
So. Yesterday’s detox meal plan went like this:
Breakfast—I slept in until 8, and when I woke up, I just didn’t feel like eating. No breakfast.
Lunch—One big tomato and a hard-boiled egg. This was surprisingly filling, though, as per the regulations of the detox, I did not salt either. The tomato didn’t taste too bad without salt, but the egg seemed sorely under-flavoured. I need to train myself not to crave salt.
Dinner—My goal was to create some amazing GOOP-style recipe and go to bed feeling like a movie star. It didn’t happen. In the end, I threw together every “permitted” food within arm’s reach, mixed them in a bowl with a dash of lemon juice, and noshed. It was 1 can chick peas, 1/2 onion, 1 tomato, and 1 avocado. It wasn’t very good, but I ate half of the concoction and felt full (or at least, I couldn’t bring myself to choke down even one more bite), so that was that.
I also snacked on cucumbers throughout the day.
I drank a substantial amount of water, but my goal for today is to drink even more—target: one gallon. I want my pee to run clear as a gurgling mountain stream by the end of the day.
Although I’m not doing the detox necessarily to lose weight, I am interested to see if it will help me work through the self-inflicted plateau I’ve landed on for the past few months. So, for record-keeping purposes, it’s only right to announce that I started the detox weighing 143.8 (but we’ll call it 144). My original goal back in January was to get down to 140, and I’d like to do it just to say I did. We’ll see…
The good news is that today is grocery shopping day. New month, new budget…new PRODUCE. Delicious. If I can just get my hands on a decent watermelon, all will be good and well.
Image from here.
Nothing cleans out the colon like a giant bowl of watermelon.