Detox—Day One

Yesterday marked my first day of the detox that I’m already suspicious of.

For those of you who have expressed concern over my health and the grave danger of detoxing one’s own body, please.  Fear not.  I am not doing a lemon-cayenne pepper-water-honey-Grade B maple syrup detox.  I am not doing a water-only fast.  I am not denying my body nutrients.  I am not starving myself.

What I am doing is eating stringently healthy for a period of time, and not breaking a single rule.  My idea of a detox.

So.  Yesterday’s detox meal plan went like this:

Breakfast—I slept in until 8, and when I woke up, I just didn’t feel like eating.  No breakfast.

Lunch—One big tomato and a hard-boiled egg.  This was surprisingly filling, though, as per the regulations of the detox, I did not salt either.  The tomato didn’t taste too bad without salt, but the egg seemed sorely under-flavoured.  I need to train myself not to crave salt.

Dinner—My goal was to create some amazing GOOP-style recipe and go to bed feeling like a movie star.  It didn’t happen.  In the end, I threw together every “permitted” food within arm’s reach, mixed them in a bowl with a dash of lemon juice, and noshed.  It was 1 can chick peas, 1/2 onion, 1 tomato, and 1 avocado.  It wasn’t very good, but I ate half of the concoction and felt full (or at least, I couldn’t bring myself to choke down even one more bite), so that was that.

I also snacked on cucumbers throughout the day.

I drank a substantial amount of water, but my goal for today is to drink even more—target: one gallon.  I want my pee to run clear as a gurgling mountain stream by the end of the day.

Although I’m not doing the detox necessarily to lose weight, I am interested to see if it will help me work through the self-inflicted plateau I’ve landed on for the past few months.  So, for record-keeping purposes, it’s only right to announce that I started the detox weighing 143.8 (but we’ll call it 144).  My original goal back in January was to get down to 140, and I’d like to do it just to say I did.  We’ll see…

The good news is that today is grocery shopping day.  New month, new budget…new PRODUCE.  Delicious.  If I can just get my hands on a decent watermelon, all will be good and well.

watermelonImage from here.

Nothing cleans out the colon like a giant bowl of watermelon.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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12 Responses to Detox—Day One

  1. Andrea U says:

    It sounds like your detox is going well. As a nurse I recommend that you are careful with your water intake, because it place your electrolytes at dangerous levels. Try not to force your self to drink alot of water. I don’t mean to scare you.

  2. Geneva says:

    Best of Luck! Although I believe that chickpees should only be used for hummus and nothing else. I’m surprised you ate any of it.

  3. Jenn says:

    Wow, I ate more for lunch today then you ate all day yesterday – don’t let yourself waste away to nothing.

  4. Hannah says:

    I want to eat healthy so bad! Unfortunatly I wait so long to eat that I start to grab everything in site until I’m full. Not something I’m proud of but working on. We bought the best seedless watermelon for $2 something at frys! It was the best one I’ve had this summer. And yummy grapes and mangos! I’ve been eating them since saturday! The only full meal I eat is at dinner time. I’m a snacker… so i don’t eat much during the day and then pig out at night, no bueno. Your detox is motivating me to try and do better! Good luck with it.

  5. malia says:

    Have you ever tried quinoa? I like it a lot, and it’s a gluten free grain. It has a nutty taste.
    You could do quinoa and fresh tomatoes, basil and other herbs, baked in a green pepper sprayed with olive oil. I do this from time to time and we like it.

    Once you are off the detox, this blog incorporates well balanced meals.

    We are self proclaimed health nuts so I could talk about this for hours…

  6. RatalieNose says:

    Again, not to be a downer, but…
    As I type I”m eating a salad DRENCHED in dressing, healthily accesorized with crutons.

  7. Jeff says:

    You’ve inspired me to start my own detox. As of tomorrow I intend to cleanse my system of all substances that can’t be dispensed through a Slurpee machine. I’ll be sure to let you know how it turns out!

  8. anna says:

    Have fun. I don’t know if I could do something this strict, but I can eat things without salt! I rarely salt my food. How long do you have to do it?

  9. Anonymous says:

    I agree about the watermelon. If you could have watermelon and cherries alone you’d be set! Where are you getting these rules? I’m afraid I’ve put back all the weight since our BL, plus a couple extra. Damn genetics and food. What a depressing situation. Anyway, maybe I’ll do this with you. Ugh…

  10. Thank you for making me feel worse about myself.

    (just kidding… kind of)

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