{Disastrous}

I can’t eat. [Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I can eat–I can always eat.] What I mean to say is, I can’t enjoy what I eat. I am unable to relax. Food has lost its flavour; salt has lost its savour.

I can’t sleep, either. [Okay, I can sleep. I can always sleep.] But my sleep is not peaceful and deep like usual. It is constantly being interrupted by nightmares and hideous hallucination-like episodes. I wake up in cold sweats. Not even the thick luxurious bedding of our Holiday Inn Suites in Great Falls, Montana can keep me sedated.

I’m in a bad way.


I’ve been married almost five months to the day, and I haven’t written a single thank-you note. Not one.


I haven’t even gotten them printed.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in failures, fiascos, Married Life, mediocrity, wedding. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to {Disastrous}

  1. Loralee Choate says:

    I’m pretty sure you have up to a year to finish the task.

    Maybe your MIL will come over with all the implements after 9 months and stand there until you have finished writing them.

    Not that I know anything about THAT…

  2. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    Ouch! I don’t think Linda would be quite that…um…invasive as poor Loralee’s mother-in-law. Nonetheless, I do think you have cause for concern. Come on. What have you got going on all day? NOTHING. It’s time, my dear sister, to bite the bullet, get them printed (I know you have the design already laid out because I got one already), and write the dang notes. Seriously. Hell’s bells, I’ll help you write them from down here. Get some printed at our Costco, and I’ll go pick them up and write a personalized message on the back.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Mill,

    P.S.: I know that probably made you mad. Be that as it may, it needed to be said, and as your sister, I take the undesirable task upon myself. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the good of the cause.

  4. Holly Decker says:

    girlFRIEND.
    i have felt your pain to the moon and back. i had two showers AND two receptions(over 500 people)… i had to write thank yous to. and i seriously didnt get it done for SIX MONTHS… and the worst of it was, i combined my thank yous with my christmas POSTCARD… thats right, i decided the only way to get the guilt off my chest was to make a cheap inexpensive christmas postcard SLASH thank you note… generic, lame… and i sent it out.
    i DEFINATELY LOATHE thank you letters, and if SOMEONE wouldve told me that they sucked so much, i wouldve done the whole thing differently.
    i do not hate you or judge you for your thank you note drama…
    may you find peace and somehow overcome it… is my plea.
    GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

  5. Kyrie says:

    Camille,
    I can sleep better now that I know you haven’t done them either! I at least have them printed. but that makes me feel worse because I don’t have an excuse to not have them written. Well I still need to talk to “Grandmama” and get the addresses. Thanks for easing my mind.

  6. theycallmeaft says:

    is that a picture of you and PK on the temple doors? man, you must know someone who knows someone.

    as far as thank you cards go…i’ve already refused not to do them. that might make me a bad person but handwriting all those cards just so they can throw them away is so not worth it.

  7. Anonymous says:

    i imagine a world where people share. where when loved ones have married and invited us to witness their union,that we give tribute to their commitment, with loving eyes,and expect nothing in return.
    and then somebody made up modern weddings. how many trees will die for those thank you notes?
    i wish more people loved the planet more than convention.

    Camille, as a new listener, i LOVE your music.that andrews sisters, i’ve never heard that rendition before, love it. love the low voiced sister, with the growl sound on the upbeat.

  8. Anonymous says:

    nobody has “NOTHING” to do.
    to imply one does, have nothing to do, seems like telling someone how to behave.
    when did blogs become the venue for directing the behaviour of others?
    beyond any of our own troubles, we are all blessed, all children of god.

  9. Anonymous says:

    oh yeah, that’s what i meant to say..turn the other cheek.
    think, understand, and always, love.

  10. Anonymous says:

    oh, don’t worry about those. just don’t send them. no one will care, seriously.

  11. A Letter To Kayleen says:

    never did ’em. never felt guilty about not doing them.

    mass thank you cards??? there is nothing more offensive than mass thank you cards.

    i’m a fan of the handwritten “thank you”. but not by the hundreds. i find it to be very impersonal and almost insulting.

    if i’ve given you one of the 500 hundred gifts you recieved (and then later returned), i’m not going to presume that a “thank you” is even in order. your $$$$$$ reception filled with (hopefully) good eatin’ is “thank you” enough. getting a card 5 months later? tsk. tsk. such a silly formality.

  12. Anonymous says:

    camille, it is me who must thank you, you sent a beautiful invitation to a perfect stranger from kyle’s family,an estranged stranger, i don’t travel so couldn’t make the reception, if i had, i would rather you enjoy your time with kyle than labour over reams of dead trees.and i have terrible taste in blenders,baby clothes,or whatever the heck else wedding gifts currently comprise.

  13. Zach and Whitney says:

    Um you must not Have KIM DENISE DEERING as a mother. I swear the week after our honeymoon my mom was asking me how thank you notes were going. I opted on right them and went to Walmart and made one of those greeting cards with a picture from our wedding and it said” Thanks for your love, support and gifts on our special day” Zach and Whitney Vance. I slapped those in some envelopes and sent them on their way.very easy I recommend them.

  14. angela hardison says:

    I’ll tell you what’s worse: designing & printing 500 of them, writing & addressing about 100, giving up…

    YEAH. Confession: I never sent ANY. I totally feel guilty but I can keep making excuses for it. It was my final semester of college, I was graduating and starting a business and moving, etc. Plus my husband refused to spend $200 on stamps to send something people probably wouldn’t read and would throw away within 30 seconds of receiving it.

    After about 8 months it reached the point where I was too embarrassed to send them anyway. They sat in my cupboard until last month and now they’re gone…forever. I’ll get over it eventually. You will too.

  15. Linda Hartmann says:

    People were kind enough to come. Tradition

  16. Anonymous says:

    letter to katleen has it right. you fed people at your wedding. what more could they want?

  17. Lindsey Burnham says:

    People already gave the gifts, what’re they gonna do if you don’t send a thank you… take them back? Probably not! Especially because you live SO FAR away! j/k

    Bring them with you next time you come down and we’ll have a party and get them all taken care of!

  18. jeff says:

    i agree with lettertokayleen. mass thank you cards, all the same, each with a tedious handwritten addendum,”thank you for the beautiful, whatever, we use it often.love it,love you,signed so and so.”
    ech.
    i think it’s a test to see if you kept track of who gave whatever “gift”.
    you paid for the party, i doubt most of your guests would care.or remember if they ever got one.
    maybe just some notes, all by hand,each unique, for the people you really want to thank,your inner circle, who supported you through it all.
    to me,that sounds classy.
    tradition…cheesy.

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