Being back in Arizona has not been good for me.
I have been snippy and irritable and altogether unpleasant pretty much since the day I got here.
What’s the matter with me? All semester I wanted nothing more than for school to be done so I could be free to visit family down south, and now that I’m here, I feel so…
…well, how is it that I feel, exactly?
-I am not doing much good here.
-I am spending money and earning none.
-I am staying up too late and waking up too early, which is making me tired and grouchy and, like I said, altogether unpleasant.
-I’m eating too much.
-My face is greasy more often than not because showering and washing one’s face is tedious on a normal day, but much more so on vacation.
-I’m getting uglier.
-I have fallen out of motivation to get any good posts written.
-I feel like I should be doing more.
-I feel like a third (or fourth, or fifth) wheel.
-I feel extra. Expendable.
And I’m not sure what to do about it. I thought about packing back up and going back home, but quite frankly, I’m confused about where home is for me right now. I mean, I am home. But I’m not. Plus, I think my leaving three weeks early would make a couple people pretty cranky. Not many, but a few.
In other news, I might get to see my husband again this week. So that’s always good. Kyle puts the “fun” in my “funny;” he is the “awe” to my “some.” Maybe he can help me know what to do with my life.
Until then, any suggestions?
(p.s. Stay tuned for an exciting rebound of Project: Proxy tomorrow. It’s gonna be good.)