Flawed Logic

Poor Kyle and I have a guilty pleasure we started long before we ever got married—no, not that kind of guilty pleasure!  Silly readers.  No, our guilty pleasure is…we like to watch My Name is Earl on a regular basis.  Don’t you judge us.

My Name is EarlImage from here.

Incidentally, the phrase “don’t you judge me” (spoken with a lilting southern drawl), originated from the selfsame hit TV series (okay, calling it a “hit” might be a stretch, but still).  It was from the episode when Joy’s mother embezzled her inheritance from the water bed store…come to think of it, do you really care which episode it came from?  Doubtful.  Just take my word for it.

At any rate, Poor Kyle and I have adopted the phrase “don’t you judge me” into our everyday lives.  If he decides to spend a good chunk of his monthly allowance (we both have them—don’t you judge us!) on chocolate bars from the local town watering hole, he boldly looks me in the eye and says, “Don’t you judge me!”  And I don’t.  If I feel too exhausted to come up with a solid blog post on any given night, and decide to sleep on it and post in the morning, I announce it to Poor Kyle with the accompanying demand that he not judge me.  It’s become a common term in our house.

Hell, Grand Cayman

Now.  If only I really lived by the sentiment, I’d be a much better person.

Unfortunately, I can be the most incredibly judgmental person in the world sometimes.  I probably should have majored in judicial law, that’s how good I am at judging people on a regular basis.  Does that hurt your feelings, to know that I have likely judged you at some point in my life?  (Well, not you personally—I would never judge my own readers; just everyone else in the world.  {Mostly the idiots, though.  [See, there I go again.]})

It’s true though.  I’m not going to lie to you, because I don’t believe in lying to my friends and readers.  I believe in the truth.  And the truth is, I have been very crotchety lately, judging people for decisions they may or may not make.  I have found myself judging people for money they spend, for money they might not be making, for major decisions they make or fail to make…it feels impossible to stop.

But guess what?  It’s not impossible—it’s easy.  Starting today, I decided to try 100% harder than ever before to stop judging people.  Know what my trick is?

I look at my own life. Who am I?  Who am I to judge? I’ll tell you who I am…

I am the girl who graduated high school in 2004 and still doesn’t have a college degree despite the fact that I really do want one.

I am the girl who entered marriage with no money saved, no career, and a fair bit of debt.

I am the girl who, at one point in life, could barely afford gas for her car, but somehow scrounged enough for a carne asada burrito many days per week.

I am the girl who hates to shower and hasn’t fixed her hair in weeks.

I am the girl who doesn’t put much effort into her appearance—how dare I judge someone who does?

I am the girl who tries to be smart, and scorns people for their own silly errors, but the truth is that I have made many myself.  I am pretty much always making mistakes.  I’m flawed.  I’m not fishing for compliments—I know I can do good things, too.  I know I’m a fine person.  But I also know I’m flawed.

Within me, there exists both good and bad.  Probably just like you; just like everyone else in the world.  I am a little of both.  That’s who I am.

So who am I?  I’m nobody to judge or be judged.  That’s who.

Don't Judge MeI’m just me. Do you like my swimsuit?  Do you hate it?  Do you judge me for not having a nicer one?  Do you judge me for sporting boardshorts?  The old me would have done so.  But no more.

I don’t judge anymore.  Don’t you feel better about being my friend now?  (Ha!  It’s more probable that I actually alienated any potential friends I may have had before my confession.  Ho-hum, life is hard.)

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in change, failures, I hate change, in all seriousness, introspection, mediocrity and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Flawed Logic

  1. Chloe says:

    Great post!
    I’m afraid I also judge people easily. And “within me, there exists both good and bad” as well. But I also think I’m being judged constantly…

  2. jethro says:

    I wonder if You’re a little bit like me. I judge myself so much, letting go of judging others is my first step back to not judging myself.

  3. Jenn says:

    I needed this post today. I woke up feeling the same way. Today is the day to change, to better myself, to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Who cares if she does this, says this, gets to do this or that. Life isn’t fair. But when I step back and look at my life, it’s pretty darn good.

  4. kate lines says:

    ours was kath & kim.

    i’m with jethro it is the first step in not judging ourselves. and it’s a hard step to make. not saying is one, then not thinking it is a whole different story. you’ve inspiried me.

  5. Cristin says:

    Erik and I quote that all the time too! Good post. I’m happy to hear that you don’t look so hot all the time either. In your pictures you always look so put together, but then again, you are choosing which pictures to post. :)

  6. ann marie says:

    Great thoughts today! It’s something we all need to be reminded of even daily!!

    I especially have to remind myself to not judge people by their blogs.. Their is sooo much of my life I would to blog about.. ( like the fact that my MIL makes my life hard and miserable ) but she reads my blog, and so I can’t vent.. ( which I shouldn’t anyway.. ) but to make my point.. Our lives ALWAYS look more perfect than they are.

    I found out that people photo shop their pictures.. you know.. give themselves tans and such.. so I REALLY try to not just know. You never know what’s real.

    I LOVE your swim suit. :) Your a cute girl!

  7. Christal says:

    I love your posts I think I tell you that all the time! I think we all judge whether we mean to or not eh! {I’m scared to think what you thought of me ha ha} Your swimsuit is cute and I always wear board shorts I might get brave on our cruise next week but I won’t know anybody and they will probably judge but yeah… anyway hope your having a great time!!! ttys

  8. ann marie says:

    Sorry.. “just” was supposed to be “judge”.
    My bad.. :)

  9. Geneva says:

    *gasp* your swimsuit have sleeves? :) I think it looks super cute. My family has a similar stolen catch phrase. I think it came from jerry springer or some such show. “You do not know me, you cannot juuuuuuudge me.” With a very meaningful finger wag accompanying it.

  10. Shalynna says:

    I find that I judge people too, but my problem is I think I judge them because I am jealous of them and I’m trying to make myself feel better. Ya know? It’s terrible.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. At least you have decided to change! I should follow in your footsteps.

    Now I’m wondering what it was that you judged about David and I… is it the fact that our shower floor is stained? What about our hair products? Do you judge us for downloading music and movies without paying anything (shame on us, but at least Kyle does the same thing at times :).

  11. Holly Decker says:

    haha… that IS a good show.
    i am the queen of judging. but let me tell you- once i popped out this kid- i have been doing a lot less judging… its really humbled me quite a bit. but i think i will always struggle with it no matter what.
    as for the swim suit? oh its nothing that i could pull off, but i think you do lovely in it!

    want to hear a really funny judging story? well, on our anniversary i put “honk its our anniversary” on our cars- and NO ONE honked. i was so offended. in fact i have been complaining about it since and the paint is still on our car windows. well, on Sunday we were driving on a rather fast freeway and some car passed us and honked- and i went off on a rampage because i thought they were being a bit rude. well then Jeff said, “what if they were just honking to say happy anniversary?” and then i realized that was most likely the case. silly me.

  12. Sarah says:

    (musical notes) Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly (musical notes). Your post reminds me of that song. Great new goal. GOOD LUCK! I feel like I’ve tried to make that goal a few times and am still working on it. Everyone judges at one time or another unfortunately…

  13. anonymous says:

    i love this post! i too have watched my name is earl every so often. always feel a little lame doing do. haha.

  14. jethro says:

    I’m not judging me today, so i’m about to refer to another comment, which is occasionally, a behaviour i consider de regeuer, i loved Geneva’s Springer finger wag reference. I was going to say ‘spot on’, Geneva, but, my boss said that to me last week, about some soup i’d made, and i felt judged. Then i judged him. It is tiring, this thing we do.

    So, i’ll just say, your words brought me joy.

  15. OH I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!
    I’m SOOOO judgemental!!!!!
    Good for you for turning over a new leaf!
    I must learn from you!!

  16. I love the swimsuit. And sorry, I’m real tired and on my way to bed, but I wanted to leave a comment because everybody loves a comments. And I don’t feel TOO bad because I know you won’t judge me! Haha

  17. Julie says:

    You do not know me but I have read many of your post through Nikki’s blog. I enjoy reading your entries. I have been to Cayman Island and have been to Hell too. That was the funest place to visit and the most beautiful. I have a friend that owns a home there by Rum Point and they visit ther several times a year. I met Shalynna when we went to church while we were there. Small world. I live in Mesa and if your from here you may know my kooky son. I would never judge anyone on their tv viewing pleasures. Hey I like soaps…

  18. Nelia says:

    Hmmmm. I go back and forth about this concept of “judging.” I think judgment is critical when determining whether actions, my own or others, are in accordance with my value system.

    However, I find that the moment I issue my “judgment,” I’m in danger of not absorbing additional information that might contradict my judgment and ultimately, I short change myself out of an opportunity for growth.

    OK. The above may be more than this Wednesday morning requires. But there it is.

    Great post, Camille!

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