I am at the point in my life where it’s become absolutely necessary to poop or get off the pot.
I need to do things. Make changes. Set goals. Accomplish them. I’m 25 now and not getting any younger. I live with a constant fear in the subdomain of my brain: a fear that I will get old and die and have nothing to show for my life; or worse: that I’ll die young and have REALLY nothing to report when I get to the Other Side.
98% of my conversations with Poor Kyle over the past few months have resolved around our marriage, our plans, our dreams and hopes for the future. Around how to achieve the type of life we’d always hoped we’d have. Around what steps we need to take to get from here, where we are, to there, where it would be so freakin’ awesome to be.
Poor Kyle has been amazing lately. So motivated, so driven, so ready to take complete control of his own life. He’s always been a swell guy, but lately he’s taken that swellness to a whole new level. Like he’s growing up or something. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly; the closest I can get is to say remember how he was reading that one time? Well he hasn’t stopped. And it’s paying off.
As for me, I’ve gone through a bit of culture shock these past few months. The shift from full time student to full time unemployed bum to full-time-and-then-some working person has rattled me, I’m not going to lie. People keep asking me if I’m depressed, and I suppose I don’t blame them—I have been sounding a little glum lately. And when I’m not sounding glum I’m just not sounding at all—I’m barely keeping this blog afloat, it seems. Really, though, I’ve not been so much depressed as overwhelmed.
But things are taking a turn for the better. I am cutting back on some of my work starting in the new year. I will fill that time with projects I actually want to do. I will make headway on long-neglected goals. I will inspire you all with my magnitude. I am strong and independent. I can (and I do) do a lot of things on my own.
I can do a lot more with Poor Kyle on my team.
I believe that 2012 is going to be a pivotal year for us. For each of us individually, and for the two of us as a family.
And you? What do you think? What are your predictions for the coming year?