I Should Have Gotten a Degree in Marriage.

At BYU, students can earn a degree in Marriage, Family and Human Development.

To me this seems like an incredible cop-out.

“What did you go to college for?”

“Oh, I got my degree in Marriage.”

“Really? So what was your final exam–snagging a husband/wife?”

“Actually Miss Snooty Pants, I consider marriage to be my life’s eternal final exam.”

“…Oh. Sorry.”

I mean, what could a college possibly teach that would prepare young newlyweds for marriage?

Nothing. They could tell their students that marriage will be a big transition, but those pre-marriage scholars would still enter into their nuptials with a starry-eyed outlook and marshmallows in their brains. The marriage professors could assign projects involving bags of flour dressed as babies, but really–there’s no comparison between a bag of Robin Hood Fast Riseā„¢ and a slobbery baby. None.

Furthermore, I firmly believe that some of life’s best lessons are learned outside of the classroom. Like how I took communication classes and still suck at communicating; I took computer classes and still hate technology. Heck , I even took Introduction to Sexuality and Human Psychology and…well…never you mind about the Sexuality class. [When I signed up for it, I was under the impression it was more of a study in women’s rights and development across the globe. I was totally misled. I promise.]

At any rate, even though I believe in the value of a degree as far as getting an honest-to-goodness job goes, I have a hard time with any school handing out a degree in marriage. I mean, if a person’s sole purpose in attending college is to learn how to be a proper stay-at-home-spouse (I’m being gender-equal, notice), then why go to college at all?

On their website, BYU notes that graduates of the marriage program often go on to pursue volunteer work. Most likely when their little darling children are at neighborhood preschool. But really, if someone wanted to pursue a career in volunteerism, shouldn’t he or she seek a degree in Nonprofit Organizations or something?

But what do I know? I myself am on the 10-year plan for my degree in Art History and Museum Studies. (A degree which I thoroughly enjoy pursuing, but let’s face it: there’s not much future for my career in museums, now that I live in a town that’s smaller than my high school student population.)

I’m so smug, when actually I know nothing. Who knows? Maybe if I’d gotten my degree in Marriage, Family and Human Development, I would know how to cook chicken enchiladas that my husband would actually eat. I would not have sewn crooked valances and hung them up in my living room anyway. I would not plant a garden in my backyard, just to leave for a month in Arizona the next week. If I’d gotten a degree in Marriage, then I would have known that leaving Poor Kyle for a whole month was a bad idea, and he wouldn’t have felt it necessary to fly down from Canada for a surprise visit during my stay here.

Which I am thrilled about, by the way. And which I could have totally anticipated if I’d graduated from BYU with a degree in Marriage.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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