I used to be better looking.

I have done some intensive research and come to the conclusion that I’m looking pretty frumpy these days.

Proof: look at all those chins, those scraggy bangs; if it were a full-body shot you’d see a fair bit of chunk around the middle region. And this was even taken from a downward angle, which is supposedly the most flattering direction:Which would be fine (my frumpiness) except for the fact that I know I have more potential than this. I used to look a lot better. Not that I was ever drop dead gorgeous or anything, but something about how I used to look is better than how I look now.

Check out this old post from back when I was doing my no ‘poo experiment in the summer of 2009 and you’ll see exactly what I mean. Below are photos from said post:

There’s no denying it: I’ve let myself go. Only I wasn’t exactly sure what I let go; I mean, obviously my hair was longer and a little darker then (darker because I’d died it back to my natural colour just days before these photos were taken). But darker, longer hair doesn’t seem extreme enough to justify an entire body’s worth of difference. And that’s how I feel: like my entire body is not at all the same as it was two years ago.

Determined to figure out what exactly had me looking so much better back then, I delved a little deeper into the Archives of Archives, and lo and behold, look what I found! I was eating really healthily back then! And apparently it paid off!

I honestly forgot that I ever weighed that much—or rather, that little. This morning when I stepped on the scale those numbers read 155, which didn’t seem so bad at 8 a.m. right after I peed and changed my glasses for my contacts (every ounce counts), but now that I’ve remembered what I used to weigh I’m all depressed about it.

I just had to go and research myself.

The part that’s really annoying is that my golden birthday is coming up (twenty-five on 25!) and I don’t want to turn twenty-five thinking that the best-looking years of my life are behind me. (Even though they probably are. [Curse you, self-defeating mind trolls!])

Not to fear, though, because I have a plan: I’m reverting back to my old ways. I know I can do it, because I am now officially the type of girl who makes her own bed every single morning without fail (four months and counting—there should be chips for this kind of sobriety). I am the type of girl who starts university and finishes it. I am the type of girl who can do hard things and do them well.

I can go back to the way I was two years ago. I can get my moxie back.

This is one form of digression I’m pretty sure my therapist won’t be concerned about.

When I get a therapist, that is.

Which I’m totally doing before I turn thirty,


About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in awesome., health and vitality, It's All Good, looking back, mediocrity, woe is me. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to I used to be better looking.

  1. Geevz says:

    From someone of comparable height and build, I am BEYOND impressed. I don’t think I’ve weighed that since middle school. And I haven’t seen 155 in about 10 years either. You are amazing. Even if you don’t change a thing. Inspirational my dear.

    P.S. I have the exact same pink lace wondertee :)

  2. Alaina says:

    Ok, so from someone who is thirty…I should take offense but I won’t :-) I still think you look cute in that first picture! But I fully support the “Camille getting her groove back” project. You go, girl!

  3. the MIL says:

    I think you should let me be your therapist. Pickmepickmepickme!!

  4. chelsie says:

    I would love to tell you about Arbonne and the detox I’ve been doing to get healthy and lose weight. It made a huge difference in my life.

  5. anna says:

    I find it completely fascinating how much eating healthy affects my appearance. Some day I hope to find out how to get rid of my adult acne. Then I’d really be into myself. :)

  6. Brittany says:

    I wish I weighed 155. Since having kids I have sure let myself go. Pre pregnancy I was 168. Being 5 ft 7. And now I’m 206, but that’s cause I’m 27 wks pregnant. But still. You look good!! I’ve always thought you looked amazing!!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Here’s my honest to goodness (biased) opinion. Take it for what it’s worth. Grow back out the hair, put a bit of red in it, and part it on the other side. Also, you are beautiful. I know you weren’t writing this for ego stroking and I’m not. You just are.

  8. Liz says:

    I think you’re beautiful! I also notice that in the recent picture you’re smiling, while in the no ‘poo ones you’re (gorgeously) hamming it up. I like happy Camille. :)

    I support and encourage you to make the changes you want to in life, though! :)

  9. Dutch girl says:

    Girl, all I can say is: wait until you pass the magic 30… then it’s all downhill :-( I used to think I looked terrible in pictures, but this week, when I was thinking of cutting my hair again and looked at photos when I had short hair, I thought: WOW, I was so pretty in my twenties! Now I’m old (34) and I have grey hairs and wrinkles. So I try to comfort myself with the thought that in ten years I will look at pictures of myself at 34 and think: I was so pretty then! ;-)
    Eat healthy (I gained weight when I lived in the US, and it’s really hard for me to gain weight (yes, bring on the hate mail), so I guess there’s something wrong with the food – And yes, I know you live in Canada, but for me it’s about the same as the US, sorry), exercise (don’t take the car, walk – and have lots of sex of course) and enjoy your good looks while they last. I think you’re very pretty!

  10. CaJoh says:

    The best of skill in getting back to your old (not age, but habits) self.

    I sometimes wish I could get an infusion of motivation from those who can get back on the stick and stick to getting healthy again. I know what needs to be done, I just lack the ability to get started.

  11. Pingback: Quarter | Archives of Our Lives

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