If Found, Please Return to: Camille@archiveslives.com

Well it’s happened. I have spent my whole life trying to avoid this, but it’s come and gone and it’s far too late to do anything about it. I’ve turned into a crazy person.

How did I let it come to this? How did I get to the point where my head feels like it’s going to explode [and this on a daily basis, not just once a month like some women]. I actually have been daydreaming about what it would be like to have my head explode. I don’t think it would be gruesome, like one might suppose. If my head exploded, I’m pretty sure the entire room would fill with tangible chaos, in the form of miniature cuckoo-clock birds. They’d all still be attached to my brain stem by varying lengths of springs, so that they could bounce around and try to free themselves of the House of Horrors that is my head, but would invariably fly right back to the root of their confines. In their quest for freedom (and a newer, sounder mind to occupy), there’s no doubt that these frenzied creatures would ricochet off of every solid surface, like some sort of eternal flying wind-up cars. And of course there would be wacky coloured spirals and sound effects, rivaled in bizarreness only by Roger Rabbit’s “boings!” and “bongs!” in ToonTown, USA.

All this because I am trying to plan a wedding. If I hadn’t already lost my mind, it would have told me long ago to do the smart thing, and elope.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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7 Responses to If Found, Please Return to: Camille@archiveslives.com

  1. linda rae says:

    Just take deep breaths, and say, “ITHINKICANITHINKICANITHINKICAN.”

    Did you phone Lori about the guestbook?

    LOL Aren’t I nasty to add to your stress?

    :)

  2. Anonymous says:

    Millie…It’s not too late to elope. I daresay Mom and Dad would be HAPPY to forego wedding plans, etc., and instead just give you the money. Do it. I’m beside you, just as long as I get to come to the actual ceremony. Everything else really doesn’t matter, quite honestly.

  3. Melenie says:

    How does one getting married in the temple elope?? I guess you could run away and get married in the Las Vegas temple. HA! That would be fun!

  4. Anonymous says:

    This room full of choas sounds quite entertaining to me!!! A

  5. lindser-lou says:

    ohhhh! you cant elope! who will then get to see/sign/admire your beautiful sign in book and get to write cute cute messages on papers for you! For that reason alone, i think you should stay here.

    just think, in 3 months, you will already be married and never have to plan any of this ever again.

    happy day!

  6. Tessa says:

    K so I think this is one of the funniest posts I have ever read. I am glad that I don’t have to go through all of that. But I am sure it will get better

  7. Pingback: The Millionaire Adventurer {My Calling in Life} | Archives of Our Lives

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