I have heard of some people reading my blog, who live in constant fear that they will make me angry and I will in turn blog about them. Like I’m some sort of holy terror who could wreak havoc upon their lives at any given moment. I don’t know what gave them that idea…
And for one family, that nightmare has become a reality.
Okay, not really. Nobody’s made me angry, and I’m not trying to settle any scores–just cover all my bases. But I do want to publicly announce that Friday May 23, 2008, at 12:30 p.m., I am meeting “Aimee and Joel Yates” at Rosa’s on Mesa Drive and University in Mesa, Arizona.
I use quotation marks around “Aimee and Joel Yates” because, according to friends and family (only one friend and one family member), these people will kill me, and kill me good.
The alleged “Yates” family consists of a mom, a dad, and two children. Natives of Arizona, but immigrants to the mid-west, I immediately trusted this family when I read their blog. Perhaps it was because I was flattered that perfect strangers found my blog, and even better: found me funny. Or maybe I immediately trusted them because of their angelic-looking son with bright, colourful blueberry eyes. At any rate, I have been reading their blog for the past several months, and they mine; I feel like I know them.
So when they realised we would each, respectively, be visiting our native land of AZ this week, I was thrilled and flattered to be invited to meet them for lunch.
Not giving it another thought (aside for the niggling worry that I will somehow stick my foot in my mouth and act like the terrible social idiot I am [which isn’t exactly an unwarranted fear, might I add]), I agreed to the rendezvous.
And now, according to one friend and one sister, I am walking straight into a trap of certain death and despair.
“You could be kidnapped.”
“You could be attacked.”
“You could be blankety-blankety blanketed.”
Good heavens, I never thought of that. But…they “Yateses” seem so nice! Surely they are legit–I mean, they have their own blog. With pictures. And kids. And one of them attended a high school right around the corner from mine–and it wasn’t even Mountain View! Surely they’re good people. Right?
“Anyone can start a blog.”
“Anyone can kidnap children and post photos on a fake blog.”
“Anyone can claim to attend a high school right around the corner from yours.”
Well, I still think they seem nice, and plus–plus! they think I’m funny. So they must be good people.
Therefore, I am indeed going to meet them at 12:30 at Rosa’s on Mesa Drive and University, and if I don’t publish an update post tomorrow night, you’ll know I’ve been horribly mauled–killed, even–by this fraudulent family.
…At least my last meal will have been Rosa’s chips and tomatillo salsa. If I go out, I’m goin’ out in the very thralls of joy.
*p.s. Aimee and Joel, please don’t kill me tomorrow–I’m so looking forward to meeting you and enjoying Rosa’s tomatillo salsa. Dying would put a real damper on my day.*