If Only There Were “Apple Z” For My Life

Every time I make snickerdoodles, I misread the recipe and mix 2 tablespoons of sugar with 2 tablespoons of cinnamon (when, in fact, I should only add two teaspoons of cinnamon to the sugar). This I do without fail. And every time, I look at my mixture and think, “This looks awfully dark for cinnamon-sugar. Did I use too much cinnamon?” Then I re-read the recipe, silently berate myself for making the same mistake as the last time I made snickerdoodles, and debate whether I should add more sugar (which would be wasteful because I’d end up with excess cinnamon sugar), or dump it out and start over (which would be wasteful because I’d be dumping it out and starting over).

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an “Apple Z” [“Control Z” for PC typers {or “Edit-Undo,” if you want to get technical}] command for the program of our lives?


There are so many moments throughout my days when I wish I could just type “Apple Z” and undo a thoughtless error. An error like using a dish cloth to dry my dishes before sniffing it for foul odors (because there’s nothing I hate more than a stinky dish cloth). Or like starting the front-loading washing machine (which locks and stays locked until the cycle is finished) before checking all the hoodie pockets for loose change. Or leaving the house to run errands before checking that I have my cell phone with me. All of these things would be easily remedied, if only I had “Apple Z” programmed into my life.

It would be handy in more than just menial daily tasks, though. Social encounters, for example.

I’m so dumb in social situations. I think my problem is that I try too hard to act like I’m not trying very hard. It’s exhausting, maintaining this blasé outlook on life. I never knew it would take so much effort to seem effortless.

Case in point: Aside from my very dear friends and family, I don’t make phone calls. When I was in high school, I decided that talking on the phone was so immensely awkward, I would only make calls if I had a purpose for doing so. In other words, I’d never call someone just to chat. Unfortunately, I also had a few boys I liked very much, and so I was always coming up with reasons to call them. Usually they were very legitimate reasons (“We need to work on our Physics project,” or “We’re kidnapping Tessa for her birthday breakfast at Denny’s”), but if the phone calls ever morphed into casual chats, I would cease and desist immediately. Because chatting can lead to running out of things to chat about…and that always leads to awkward pauses.

And I will do absolutely anything in my power to avoid awkward pauses.

Having an “Apple Z” feature to help me undo sticking my foot in my mouth–that would be nifty. I wish I’d had “Apple Z” the time I found out my manager at work was pregnant, and I said, “Really? I’ve been working with you for six months, and I had no idea you were pregnant!” Which, evidently, to a pregnant woman, means I just thought for six months that she was fat.

Am I alone in this principle? (I know I’m not totally alone, because it was my sister’s idea in the first place [I give credit where credit is due.].) And even though I think it’s a splendid idea to be able to instantly right any wrong with a simple press of a button, I can also see the argument that we learn from our mistakes, etc. So what do you think? Are there times you wish you could just “Apple Z” it? If I ever start a world of my own, should I add the “Apple Z” feature, or make my worlds’ citizens suffer through the pain of making mistakes? It’s important to think these things through, you know, so as to avoid any regrets later.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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8 Responses to If Only There Were “Apple Z” For My Life

  1. Anonymous says:

    i know what you mean! that would be so nice if you could do over stupid mistakes. you would still learn from them, bc, you know, you did them and felt bad. you could just- not suffer the consequences. but living with the consequences is important. i don’t know- in your future world, you could give out an apple-z button limited to, like 50 redo’s. how’s that sound?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    I, obviously, agree. I write so many stinking papers for class that I get used to control z-ing it. Sometimes throughout my day I find myself reaching for the control z button. This is all fine and good when I’m at the computer typing, but when I’ve just gotten poop all over from Preston’s diaper, not as handy. I guess you’re right, though; if we had control z, we wouldn’t learn from our mistakes. Sometimes that sounds pretty enticing, though…

  3. Jami says:

    The “human man” in me says “YES PLEASE”…..BUT the spiritual giant that I am says “oh no…if the lord didn’t do it that way than neither am I”…hahah, to bad I am no spiritual giant…so I want that damn button! If you think you are good at putting your foot in your mouth then you have not spent enough time with ME. Like at close up in high school….I was choosen to give the speech at the end on the week (in front of the whole close up group)…and i got nervous and didn’t say anything meaningful. I have thought about that time and time again, thinking to myself that I want to delete that moment! ALso I asked some STUPIED question in that debate. I had a front row seat, and being the idot that I am I asked a question…I dont’ remember what it was but I remember it was stupied! OH, I just cringe when I think about that. WOW, this comment has gotten way off base.

  4. Todd & Jenny says:

    I love the way you think. I’ll take an Apple Z option any day – every day. If only we could have Apple Z and still learn what we need to.

    And… I love the fire pit. Great pics. Looks like a lot of fun. We’ll have to come by to enjoy dinner over the fire when we’re there next… as long as it’s a fairly warm time of year. :) Do you like how I’m inviting ourselves over? I’m sure Ryder would get a great kick out of it all!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I have so many times I could have used that button in my life. If I had, though, my life as I know it wouldn’t even exist. Scary thought.

  6. Geneva says:

    Ok I know I already commented, but a subbed for a foods teacher today. And for some reason she had snickerdoodles (they were probably going to bake them that week) written on the top of the board. Some kid asked me if that was my name was snickerdoodles. I laughed and thought of you.

  7. A Letter To Kayleen says:

    brilliant.

    it reminds me of all the times i’ve tried to rewind real life through our huge front window with our dvr remote. …when you know you’ve spent too many hours in front of the tv.

  8. Holly Janeen says:

    oh my gosh, i totally wish i had an undo button for my life… all those times when i say lame things… but the way you expressed it in this blog sounds so much more eloquent :)

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