I’m an Old Fart

Hi, guys.  I’m sorry it’s been a lifetime since I’ve posted.  It’s been a busy week.  Excuses, excuses.

Seriously, though.  For the last four days, I have lived my life like a person who never had a blog, had never heard of blogs.  I hate to admit it, but this little website hasn’t even crossed my mind this weekend.  Not even once.  In fact, I sort of don’t even know what to say now that I’m back…I mean, it feels like this is my very first blog post, the one where people are all like, “So yeah, I started this blog and I don’t know what to say but here I am and this is my first blog post the end.”

I had one of those once.

Anyway, this weekend has been a sort of coming-of-age time for me.  It is the first time in my life that I have actually felt quite close to what it must feel like to be a grown-up.

First, I had my parents in town (they’re still here, actually; they’ll be leaving later today).  It’s really strange to have one’s parents in town.  I have been the sole meal planner and executioner (I execute the meal plans, that is; although it could also sound like I execute my guests by virtue of my awful cooking), and that’s a lot of responsibility.  The first night, we made homemade pizza.  The next night we had a Chinese dinner, and tonight we had soup, salad, and rolls.  I’ve even tried my hand at a few breakfasts, but those have failed pretty consistently; I’m convinced I am so awful at making breakfasts because I hate being alive any time before noon.  At any rate, my parents are still alive, so at least I didn’t kill them off with my horrid cooking, or worse, no cooking at all.

Second, Poor Kyle and I paid off Tamra Camry, who is dead.  We still owed several years’ worth of payments on Tamra, but the bank was threatening to charge us for insurance because she’s not insured in Canada because she doesn’t actually run any more, so we decided to just bite the bullet and pay her off now, saving us money in the long run.  And delightful as it is to declare that we are debt free except for our house, it would be even more delightful if we didn’t have to pay several thousand dollars on a car that doesn’t drive.

You can read all about that fiasco here.

We do hope to fix Tamra someday—she deserves as much—but that day is not today.

And finally, I made my own pumpkin puree this week, and then proceeded to sneak it into every single meal I have subsequently prepared.  Nothing makes me feel more like a naggy old mother figure than sneaking vegetables into my husband’s dinner and acting all nonchalant about it.  “What, dear?  No, I don’t think this banana bread looks any oranger than usual.  Why do you ask?”

I’m an old fart, is what I’m saying.

And it’s ever so slightly unsettling.

Next thing I know, I’ll be wandering around the neighborhood in my bathrobe looking for my missing dentures and rounding up a gang of cronies to join my peanuckle league.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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12 Responses to I’m an Old Fart

  1. chelsie says:

    oh, please do not plan meals or be stressed for when I am there… I would hate that, but I would love to be on your peanuckle league!!! that could be fun! (as long as we don’t get any cheaters to join [or anyone who would rat us out for cheating…])!

    Yeah!!! 17 days!!! I am not so sure about how I will handle the cold though, I just looked up the weather and for the first time in my life I saw a little snow flake symbol on Tuesday, followed by a glooming 26… But hey, everyone needs to see snow sometime in their lives, right?

  2. Tisha says:

    Holy Crap, if you’re an old fart, I’m ancient. I’ll probably be dead by the time you’re wandering the neighbourhod, but in case I somehow manage to live that long, I’d gladly join the peanuckle league. You’ll probably have to teach me how to play daily though, because by then, I won’t remember things from one day to the next. Umm…. wait. That part is already happening!

  3. Camberley says:

    I was the same way this past weekend. From Friday to Sunday, I did not open the computer once (not even facebook could get me online). It was nice.

  4. jami says:

    I really doubt that you are a bad cook. It seems like you are always making delicious things. PLUS you made those really yummy spring rolls here that one time?

  5. Geneva says:

    Yay for the pumpkin! That is so exciting! I too felt old today when my students did not know what candy had a thin candy shell.

    M&M marketing has come a long way.

  6. Jeff Lowry says:

    This is Carmen. Just on Jeff’s computer….don’t tell him. He hates it when I use his computer. That is awful that you had to pay money for your car. Sometimes life just isn’t fair! Did you make the chinese dinner? If so I need/want recipes. Oh, I just got busted on Jefff’s computer, gotta go

  7. malia says:

    You had to pay it off a car that doesn’t run/work?
    That is just, asinine.

    I think you sound like a perfectly wonderful host.

  8. Whitney says:

    no one is as bad as me at cooking. I get all flustered and everytime something didnt measure right so the meal was ruined. Maybe it has something to do with an 8 month old pulling at my legs while I make dinner? That can be the excuse for now but I will have to get back to you on the excuse for the past 3 years. When I didnt have a baby. It was school, or work, or I hate cooking. So there!

  9. Christal says:

    That sucks that you had to pay money for a car you don’t even use right now!! life eh!! I’m sure your meals were awesome!! How fun to have your parents in town! I feel like I don’t even see you that often anymore can’t seem to get MY bench in church seriously what is this world coming to eh!! Well keep up the old fartness we love it!! and you!! ttys

  10. GRANMAMA says:

    All the meals, every single morsel, was delicious and nutricous.

  11. linda rae says:

    AND Camille’s meals always LOOK beautiful. Like out of a magazine. Camille is all about presentation. And she cooks from scratch!

    the mother-in-law

  12. I think someone needs a trip to Never Never Land.
    K this is totally unrelated: have you heard the song Fairytale by Sara Bareilles?
    I think you’d like it.

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