{In Sickness and In Health…}

There has been an outbreak of the mumps at the college where Kyle attends classes.

How could this happen? It’s not like Canada is a third-world country, or excessively poverty-stricken… I don’t know; I guess I just figured that I had enough to worry about, between my pregnant sister, setting up my new house, and learning how to drive in snow; catching the mumps wasn’t really high on my list of concerns until now.

I had my standard two doses of the MMR vaccine when I was younger, so I think I should be immune to the potentially-fatal disease. Kyle, on the other hand, did not. (I’m not saying this was an oversight on his parents’ behalf [I myself barely got my second dose of the shot in 2004, and only because it was required by the United States Government for me to get my overpriced passport so I could visit overpriced Europe]. Maybe the Canadians aren’t as strict about that sort of thing. [Maybe they should be].)

At any rate, it’s too late now. What’s done is done (or not done, in this case). Kyle and I went to the school yesterday to get him immunized with the MMR vaccine. A pamphlet the shot people handed out listed some potential side effects of the vaccine, and as luck would have it, Kyle woke up today complaining of most of them. He’s been throwing up all day; he’s been freezing cold and boiling hot; he has a fever and a headache and he says he’s sore all over. The worst part, though, is that we aren’t sure if it’s just a reaction to the vaccine, or if he really has the mumps. (The symptoms are the same for both scenarios–go figure.) Or, it could be that he just has the flu. I followed the pamphlet’s instructions and gave him a dose of Tylenol (Tylenol Cold, actually–just to be safe), but he’s since thrown up three more times, so I doubt it’s still in his system.

I myself haven’t showered in several days, what with toiling in this house all week, and nursing Kyle back to “health” all weekend. My hair is greasy. My face is greasy. My eyelids are greasy.

To top it all off, Kyle’s three front teeth fell out. Again. This happens every year or so, and I am used to it–but I think it must be awfully miserable to catch the mumps on one’s weekend, and not even have the pleasure of front teeth to take comfort in. His dentist is on holiday and won’t be back until Wednesday.

I just ran a lukewarm bath for Poor Kyle to soak, and he’s in there moaning away, sounding for all the world like the sad song of an orca. Humanized. Free Willy…

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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14 Responses to {In Sickness and In Health…}

  1. Spencer and Jami says:

    wow, that is really weird! and that is such a bummer that you guys are suppost to be all love and roses, but kyle is on the verge of death! I guess this is just a testiment of the power of getting vacinated!

  2. Raygon says:

    what an introduction to marriage life huh? best of luck to you and kyle. you really should take a shower though, all that grease cant be good for you or your sick hubby!

  3. Camille says:

    Gosh, Raygon, you ask a lot of a girl! I washed my face for the night, AND applied my pimple cream…does that count?

  4. Tessa says:

    Oh man camille that totally sucks, I am so sorry. I hope kyle gets better soon!

  5. Raygon says:

    you are such a good wife, camille. i had to give you a hard time since you were teasing me about my awesome silver eyeliner! really, i hope all is well with you guys.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Oh Mill, this just sounds like the most pathetic predicament ever! Poor Kyle indeed. I feel so bad for him… I wish there was something we could do for him! When will you know if it’s really the mumps and not just a reaction to the immunization? Soon, I hope. Come to think of it, I would kind of like to see Kyle without his three front teeth…Why does he have three fake teeth anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story on that…

  7. Anonymous says:

    Poor Kyle!

  8. lindser-lou says:

    oh dear, oh dear…..
    this is truly sad indeed, but take heart in knowing that YOU didnt cause him to get sick…(did i ever tell you about how i bought that arthritis cream for jared and it ended up burning off his flesh???? yeah…that was awful.) I hope your new husband feels better soon and hun – we should start a club…i’m thinking “the greaseballs”…we would so rock that.

  9. Anonymous says:

    My goodness Cameee this is quite a start to your new life. I hope it all turns out for the best and keep us all posted! ~A

  10. melenie says:

    Oh, dear…. if I understand the mumps correctly, even almonds won’t help Poor Kyle.

    But they may help you get through all of this.

    I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Hopefully it isn’t the ACTUAL mumps.

    And I gotta ask… why do Kyle’s three front teeth fall out regularly?

    -Mel

  11. Anonymous says:

    wow you are an amazing wife c!!
    nat

  12. LetterToKayleen says:

    wow. you’re still hanging around? hmm. must be true love.

  13. The Lowry's says:

    Tell Kyle we hope we gets better. Guess we won’t be doing anything this weekend. Sounds like he will be okay as long as your around. Keep up the good work Nurse. ;)

  14. Anonymous says:

    Let’s just hope they don’t “go down” on him. Then you would be childless for life. Mumps=no sperm! Oh dear!

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