Is There Anything More Tedious in all the World?

I am an adult; twenty two years of age, officially. I pay taxes (when I have a job) and fill my own gas tank (when I can’t get Poor Kyle to do it for me). I make my bed (almost always now), and cook dinner (such as it is). For all intents and purposes, I’m a grown-up.

Why, then, do I hate brushing my teeth? Why?

I’ll tell you why:

1. It’s so tedious. You want me to just…stand there? In front of the mirror? The two times during the day that I look my absolute worst? For how long? Three minutes? Please.

2. …

Never mind. There’s only that one reason.

It is, though. Tedious, I mean. Nevertheless, I do brush my teeth on a regular basis (once a week, like clockwork [just kidding!]). I just get so…bored. I always have. When I was a kid, and didn’t understand about bad breath and social faux pas and what-not, I would go to school without brushing my teeth all the time. [I didn’t have a lot of friends.] Then, the day before I had a dentist appointment, I would get all stressed out and try brushing my teeth every five minutes or so, and then ten times right before the dreaded hour. It never worked. I always came out with 20 more cavities than before.

The only thing that’s changed since then is that, as an “adult,” I’m fairly sure there’s no way around brushing my teeth twice daily. (Although…I still don’t have many friends. Maybe I’m on to something…)

Yet for some reason I really enjoy flossing. Tell me it’s time to brush my teeth, and I’ll procrastinate as long as I can. But flossing–it’s the highlight of my day. With flossing, I actually get to see the fruits (or bread particles, or pepper) of my labor. It’s like a treasure hunt in my mouth! Every evening before bed! [Being able to floss from the comfort of my plush bed might have something to do with my joy.]

I’ve decided I have to make a game out of brushing my teeth.

Maybe if my toothpaste was a little person with feet who jumped out of the drawer every time I went to the bathroom and sang cheerful songs while I brushed…then again, that might just make me need a therapist. Image from here.

But the only one I can think of is see-how-quickly-I-can-run-back-to-bed-and-catch-a-power-nap-while-brushing. And I tried it once, but the complications with my bed sheets were horrible. Not worth it.

So I’m turning to you. Do you get bored with brushing your teeth, too? What games do you play to make yourself do it?

No? Nothing?

Oh. How awkward.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in failures, looking back, mediocrity, what I'm about. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Is There Anything More Tedious in all the World?

  1. Zach and Whitney says:

    Um.. I actually like brushing my teeth. I dont just stand in front of the mirror though. I get on the computer and look at things for the short period of time. I think even if I didnt shower that day and I look ridiculous, brushing my teeth makes me feel clean.

  2. Kristy says:

    i love brushing my teeth, i can’t handle going to bed with unbrushed teeth, just feel so gross. did you know u can buy a kid toothbrush that has songs that go till your time is up. i think its cute for a kid.

  3. HeatherPride says:

    I am a once-a-day brusher and I’ve never had a cavity before (at 35) so I think there’s something to that….

    Also, I get way bored staying in the bathroom, so usually when I’m brushing I’m walking around, peeking out the windows to see what the weather is/who is outside/how the flowers are looking.

    And to answer your question: HECK NO the little brat didn’t get a happy meal!!

  4. chelsie says:

    oh, I know what you mean. and i feel the same way. I hate it. in the morning not so much because I know i need to get morning breath out of my life in order to be happy. but at night… all cozied up and then you realize that you forgot to brush. Really, are you going to get out? not me. But then I feel guilty so it’s a lose lose situation.

  5. Lauren says:

    I hate brushing teeth, as well. But…being married there is no way around it. Seriously…NO WAY.

  6. RatalieNose says:

    Get those little tablet things from your dentist. Y
    ou put them in your mouth and the teeth that still need brushing, turn pink!!! Quite entertaining, in my humble opionin.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    Well, you’re not going to like this advice, but I used to post my New Year’s resolutions and my goals on the mirror. As I was brushing my teeth, I would read through them as a reminder. Told you that you wouldn’t like it. Quit rolling your eyes.

  8. Niki (Crum) Worthen says:

    i was going to suggest what ratalienose said. AND they also have this mouth was for kids. when you spit it out it has brightly colored specs that shows all the nasty-ness that you just brushed away. try it and let me know how it goes.

  9. moosh in indy. says:

    SO BORED. At least with flossing you feel as if you are accomplishing something. I close my eyes and imagine my toothbrush as one of those spinny car wash brushes on each one of my teeth.

  10. RPH says:

    i love love love to brush my teeth. but cant stand standing in front of the mirror. i just wander around my house while brushing. although i am still not accomplishing anything, atleast i am not staring at aweful self in the mirror.

  11. Melissa says:

    I love to brush my teeth and I love it even more with a sonicare toothbrush. I always read something while I brush. Usually a magazine, just to pass the time. I don’t just stand there and look at myself!

  12. Mistakes for Marion says:

    Sometimes I brush mine while driving places. I have a friend who does that too but once he spit in an empty orange juice bottle and then somebody else accidentally started drinking…I’m disgusted and laughing just thinking about it.

  13. Katie says:

    Brush in the shower. Then you get to stand under the hot water longer. Such a luxury.

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