It’s Colder Than it Oughtta Be in March

Colder Than it Oughtta Be in March

It was almost spring, and then…it wasn’t.  Too bad, so sad.  All day today, I’ve been singing the song “July {A Plain Morning}” by Dashboard Confessional.  Actually, I haven’t been singing the entire song, just the part that goes, “it’s colder than it oughtta be in March.”  Because it is.  Colder.  Much colder, in my opinion.  Everybody’s saying so…

“Don’t worry, Camille,” they say, “this is the worst winter we’ve had in a long time.  It’s not always this bad.”

Okay, then.  I won’t worry.  What did worrying ever get me but an ulcer and a hernia, anyway?  Instead, I’ll be happy, because I’m all about mind over matter, and matters of the heart, and the heart knows no end, and end of tangent.

List of Things I Like Better Than the Cold [in no particular order]:

1.  On my desktop there lives a recently-downloaded .pdf file. It contains the credit requirements for my degree in English—that’s not what makes me happy.

Bah English!

What makes me happy is that the file is called “ba_english,” and every time I see it (which is about 10,000 times per day), I think to myself, “Bah!  English!”  Which is funny.  Because that’s how I feel about the subject, and all my classes.  And about school.  And about the credit requirements I have yet to fulfill (which are many).

2.  Queen Helene’s The Original Mint Julep Masque.

Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque

It’s a masque, first of all, which is far superior to any ol’ MASK.  Secondly, Queen Helene made it.  Somewhere in the world, there’s a woman named Helen who decided to become French and call herself a Queen, and then market a super-inexpensive face MASQUE, just for kicks.  Helen?  You’re amazing, and if you want to be Helene, fine.  Thanks for producing the masque.  Also, what the heck is a julep?  Anyway, it doesn’t matter; you can buy it here, or at Wal-greens™.  I think it’s $3.99.

3.  The name Helen always reminds me of my mother. She’s not named Helen, but when I was growing up, she would always declare “Helen Keller!” in place of other choice swear words.  I love my mom.

4.  This picture text I got from my sister today. It was captioned, “The Joys of Motherhood.”

The Joys of MotherhoodHer kid is the fat one strapped to the back.  The one strapped to the front is her niece.  She got all situated like this, and decided she was going to walk to the store—to buy groceries!  Without a stroller!  My sister is so funny.  {It runs in the family.  [Funny-ness, not motherhood.]}

5.  That one professor finally gave me a grade I deserve. It’s about time:

That Heinous Prof.It’s a good thing, too, because she was sucking the hope right out of me.  As I sat to take this exam, I thought to myself, “There’s no way I will possibly be able to measure up to her la-la-land idea of quality writing.  At best, I’ll get another 70-ish%.  But I dare not hope for anything, not even a 70%.  I’d better be prepared for a 50%, or heck, even a 0%—never know what she might find wrong.” Hope-sucker.

6.  Re-stocked.

Fresh DDPI was getting sick of Diet Coke™.

7.  I’m about to be $100 richer. My sister and I have a bet as to whether or not I am hypothyroid-astic.  She swears I am; I hope I’m not.  I had an appointment today with my doctor, who ordered blood work.

Thyroid Lab WorkHe thinks it might not be necessary, though, because he’s fairly certain I’m NOT DISEASED! Only time will tell.  I get the blood drawn on Friday morning.  It’s going to make my sister really mad, because she’s super cheap, and would have liked an extra $100.

8.  I am now vain about my nose. I never thought I would be—I never thought about it one way or the other, in fact.  But now I’m just like Anne of Green Gables, who said, “I’m afraid I think too much about my nose ever since I heard that compliment about it long ago.”  And I, dear readers, shall forever be trapped in the same snare of vanity along with dearest Anne.  Busy Bee Lauren said, in a recent post on Niki’s blog, “I love Camille…and I just noticed she has the PERFECT nose. Such a cute shape. She should have a silhouette made to showcase that cute thing.” Wasn’t that sweet?

NoseStill, I don’t think it’s much to sneeze at.  Heh.  Punny.

The end.  See?  Mind over matter really does work.  I’ve forgotten all about how cold, snowy, miserable, and mucky it is outside.

Oh, wait…  I just remembered.

Helen Keller!

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in blogger finger, Canada, good tunes, It's All Good, like-it-link-it, Overall Good Things, thisandthat. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to It’s Colder Than it Oughtta Be in March

  1. anna says:

    Sorry it’s so cold there, but the cooler weather has sure made things absolutely beautiful here! Did you know I love all your soda-drinking shots? You are SO intense when you throw your head back to guzzle down your soda of choice.

  2. AlexaMae says:

    you really do have a good nose. im jealous and im still laughing about helen keller being used as a curse word. now that is funny!

  3. Chloe says:

    come here, to Seville (Spain)! You’ll enjoy the sun!
    Congrats for your grade!! 90%!! Wow!
    I love this post! It’s so funny!:)

    Chloe
    http://chloe86.wordpress.com

  4. Katie says:

    All of those things are infinitely more fun than a cold day in March. It is still cold in Connecticut, too. But its really sunny and pretty outside, which I think is just God’s way of compromising on the temperature. “I’ll give you some sunshine, if you’ll just hang in there a few more weeks…” Good thing I like Him so much or I’d have issues.

  5. raygon says:

    I am certain we are on the same weather schedule. It was warm (in the 50s) and just when I thought spring was here it dumped 3 inches of snow yesterday and is currently 17 degrees. I miss AZ!! Helen Keller! love it!

  6. Carmen says:

    I liked this post. I am going to do some of my favorite things post soon too. Curious what your blood test results will be. $100? that is a pretty big bet. I guess only time will tell.

  7. Camille says:

    anna– Thanks! I try my hardest to look intense, because that’s how I feel about DDP: intense.

    AlexaMae– Ha! Thanks.

    Chloe– I should come to Spain! I would like it a lot more than the cold, for sure.

    Katie– No kidding. Sometimes I feel forsaken by Him on these cold, barren plains, but I have to keep the faith.

    Raygon– Helen Keller, it’s cold! When will it end??

    Carmen– Thanks! I look forward to reading your own favourite things.

  8. Joel says:

    This was a particularly good post! I like how you tie it all together at the end. Isn’t is kind of sacrilege to use the deaf and blind community’s idol as a profanity? Kinda like yelling “Gandhi!”

    I think it grand that you chose to photograph yourself wearing the green mask throughout your post. What does rubbing green Julep on your face do for you anyway?

    Lastly, I have told Aimee many times that she has a cute nose. I hope when our kids faces are done changing constantly that they end up with her nose.

  9. HeatherPride says:

    That is one outrageously adorable nose.

  10. ann marie says:

    Ya.. It is cold for March.
    And your nose is cute. :)

  11. stefanie says:

    im not going to lie i havent commented yet cause i was really intiminated by the fact that i had to add some info before i could comment… but i had to say holy crap its cold there! im glad you havent turned into a frozen.

  12. HAHAHAHA
    Love the list!
    LOVE the Helen Keller Cuss Word Replacement.
    Brings me great joy.
    Lauren’s right.
    You do have a great nose.
    And TRUST me, RatalieNose KNOWS NOSES!!!!
    I’m punny too!!!

  13. Camille says:

    Joel– Thanks for saying so! I bet your wife loves hearing that you like her nose. The deaf and blind community can’t hear me say it or read me typing it, so I don’t think they’ll be too offended. (Wow, that was unbelievably crass, even for me.) I don’t think mint julep does anything at all, besides make me feel like a fancy yuppie. I still have pimples.

    HeatherPride– I’ve been told. : ) Just kidding. That wasn’t very humble of me. Thanks for the compliment.

    Ann Marie– Thanks!

    Stefanie– I used to be afraid of commenting with all the info, too. I wouldn’t make people do it, but I don’t know how to change it. Sorry. Thanks for commenting, though!

    EverybodyNose– You ARE punny! That was a good pun. Thanks!

  14. Anonymous says:

    Umm… Thanks for putting that picture on the INTERNET. Sheesh! And I’m still certain I’m going to win the $100. You do realize it was a hypothetical bet, though, right? Unless I win, in which case it’s totally legit. Oh, and thanks a freaking lot for taking the great nose. Seriously, how am I supposed to compete with such a babe for a sister? Oh, that’s right. I’m not. Sucks to be me. I’ve always thought you have a great nose, too. Have I not ever said? I’m sorry. It’s perfect. If I ever get a nose job, I’m going to take you to the doctor with me and show her exactly how I want my new nose to be.

Comments are closed.