It’s my party and I’ll–oh, forget it.

It’s my birthday.
And on this, the 25th of September, I would like to declare that I’m tired of keeping it real.

What I want, for just one day, is a whole lot of fake.

In other words, instead of my [self-made] birthday cake looking like this:

I want it to look like this:

Image from here.

Yeah. Uh…not so much. My birthday cake’s crack is showing.

[At least the cake stand is adorable.]
…And instead of my war-zone post-birthday cake kitchen looking like this:

I want it to look more like this:

Image from here.

Instead of my gallbladder looking like this:

Utterly revolting image from here.

I want it to look like this:

Sunshine and daisies. Photo by Jim-AR.

It’s my birthday, and I’d like some fake, of the Martha Stewart persuasion.

Please and thank you.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in mediocrity, oh brother what next, photos. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to It’s my party and I’ll–oh, forget it.

  1. Anonymous says:


    I’m sure you spent a lot of time on that cake. I’m really sorry it didn’t turn out. Happy Birthday, nonetheless!

  2. Cristin says:

    Happy birthday. Your cakes look like they turn out like mine. Frosting will hide anything, that’s what I say.

  3. Aimee says:

    Here’s to celebrating the day of your birth!

    Your cake’s crack – haha – I’m sure it will be delicious. Every food that makes that big of a mess in your kitchen always is.

    And if you truly have gallstones, I’m sorry. That kind of pain is horrendous (worse than childbirth!). Get it out as soon as it’s free. And it’s four scars, Joel, four. You always forget the one in my belly button.

    Hope you still get your Trash Ties. Happy B-day!

  4. angela hardison says:


    so maybe that was overboard, but i hope you have a great day (and can you tell I’m the primary pianist?)

  5. Anonymous says:

    Happy Birthday Camille. I think the cake you made looks glorious… Edible even! Who wants a perfecto cake that looks pretty but tastes like it looks pretty. I hope you sister gets you trash ties anyway. ~A

  6. lindser-lou says:

    i am obsessed with cake stands! where on earth did you find that chocolate brown one????

    oh yes, and a very happy birthday, from one virgo to another.

  7. jill says:

    happy birthday hope you have a good day!

  8. HeatherPride says:

    Happy birthday, girlfriend!!!

    Totally did not notice the cake crack. Nope. In fact, what crack? You people are all crazy.

  9. RPH says:

    happy birthday! that cake looks yummy!
    hope you have a good one.

  10. Katie says:

    Happy birthday!

    (and I agree – sometimes fake is just more fun!)

  11. Zach and Whitney says:

    Happy birthday Camille!! Why does your gallbladder look like that? Did I miss something?

  12. Lindsey Burnham says:

    Happy birthday dearie!!! Happy birthday!!! I love you, even more than you love that cake stand!

  13. RatalieNose says:

    Feliz Cumpleanos!!!! Just look at the bright side, it’s a Thursday! What a splendid day of the week for your birthday to fall upon!!

  14. Niki (Crum) Worthen says:

    happy birthday. and thank you for introducing me to eddie. you don’t have to feel so bad. i’ve never heard of him until now. and i must say, i am smitten! he’s fabulous!

  15. Geneva says:

    Oh happy birthday Camille! I hope it is all kinds of fabulous!

  16. A Letter To Kayleen says:

    i’ve always thought birthdays were overrated. all that build up for a year is only bound to disappoint. i mean, it’s really just another day. kinda.

    happy just-another-day-birthday! i hope your gallbladder feels better.

  17. Mikelle says:

    Happy Birthday! Love the cake…that is totally why I don’t make birthday cakes…I don’t want to put effort into something if it’s not going to turn out like I think it should.

  18. The Lowry's says:

    You shouldn’t have to make your own birthday cake anyway! So no wonder it didn’t turn out. It’s saying hello, I’m not supposed to be made by you. Try making it on a day that isn’t your birthday and I’m sure it would’ve turned out fantastic. There, does that make you feel any better? Probably not, but the chocolate oozing down the sides looks delish even though the overall appearance may not.

  19. Kim and Jason says:

    Oh wow, that’s some cake Camille. I say you could cover the whole thing with whipped cream from a can and voila! perfection :-) I bet it still tasted great. Happy Birthday!!

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