I’ve Just Had an Epiphany.

Our television is on the fritz [where did that phrase even come from?]**, and I am aghast at how…aware…I am of its absence.

When I was young, my parents strictly monitored our T.V. time–at least until my sister and I got sneaky and started watching cartoons while my parents were out, when we were supposed to be practising the piano. We even made pacts of silence with each other, vowing never to tell our parents (though I’m sure they caught on all by themselves soon enough). Nevertheless, because I was raised to view T.V. as a treat rather than a necessity, I must have figured those notions would carry over into my adulthood.

And they did…or so I thought, until the Asian repairman representing Hatachi came to take away the big 44″ box of entertainment.

“So long,” I thought as I waved them off, “I’ll see you when your volume works again.”

Turning to go inside, I decided to make myself a deluxe turkey sandwich on homemade bread for lunch. After ten minutes in the kitchen, I carefully balanced my plate on my glass of ice-cold milk, and slowly made my way down the thirteen stairs that lead to the creepy basement.

There’s a picture of the room–even though it’s blurry, you can make out the T.V. in the right hand corner. So there I was, sitting down on the green leather hand-me-down sofa, and I reached for the remote. Imagine my surprise when it was nowhere to be found! Suddenly, I remembered the Hitachi man had taken the clicker…and the T.V.

Only ten minutes into the drought, and I was already parched.

See, I like to eat lunch and watch HGTV at the same time–it makes me feel like my time eating is not being wasted, if I can multi-task (not that watching HGTV is really “getting anything done,” but at least it’s sometimes educational. [Did you know that black dishwashers can easily be re-configured into stainless steel ones? All it takes is a sheet of metal for under $30 from any hardware store, and power tools]). Plus, I’m alone all day (just me and my shotgun, stalkers!) and I’d rather watch home renovations while I eat than listen to myself crunch lettuce. Even though lettuce does make a nice crunch.

Anyway, the T.V. is gone, and tonight is American Idol and I don’t fancy missing it. I also don’t fancy missing the new episodes of The Office, or CSI: Miami/New York/Las Vegas, or Holmes on Homes, or reruns of Seinfeld, or Mythbusters, or–

Oh. So this is what my parents meant.

**They don’t know. Nobody knows. That’s depressing.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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9 Responses to I’ve Just Had an Epiphany.

  1. Geneva says:

    Isn’t it funny? My parents were the same way but now I have to stop and think what to do when there is no TV.

  2. Cristin says:

    I spent a summer during college renting a place with a television and VCR, but we couldn’t actually receive any television channels. We had 2 videos. We would pop in “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” every time we were eating lunch so that we would have something to watch for a few minutes. What a weird habit that we couldn’t get away from (eating in front of the tv) and by the way, I hate that movie.

    At least you still have the internet. If you go to rickey.org, you can watch all the American Idol clips from tonight.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    I’m quite surprised. I didn’t realize you watched TV so much… Remember when we used to go to Grandma’s and sneak it there, too? Good times, good times.

  4. Mistakes for Marion says:

    Lol, I’m the reverse. Growing up me and the siblings had free range with the tv; now, when do we tv it feels strange it is such a rare experience. (Not that I’m prescribing such an arrangement).

  5. Mistakes for Marion says:

    Lol, I’m the reverse. Growing up me and the siblings had free range with the tv; now, when I do watch tv it feels strange to it is such a rare experience. (Not that I’m prescribing such an arrangement).

  6. Kristy says:

    hey Camille, has Rachel had her baby yet? We haven’t heard since Aunt Linda is gone. if so tell me details :)

  7. Anonymous says:

    How about books on tape instead of TV? You can accomplish so much more and still be entertained.

  8. Anonymous says:

    but who says books will accomplish more than TV? Hmm… Anyways, sorry about your TV. Sometimes we don’t realize how lucky we are until something is taken away.

  9. lindser-lou says:

    jared and i are facing a tv dilemma ourselves. We have an awesome huge new tv…and no cable in this new apartment… not even a single spanish news channel. So we are having to watch disney movies over and over again whenever we just want to veg and have some background noise. Maybe one day we will invest in some ‘rabbit ears’ and see what channels we get with that.

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