I’ve Just Thought of an Excellent Plot for a Horror Film…

Remember last August how my hand got sore from a case of blogger finger?

Well, apparently the disease has spread to the produce. I was washing vegetables for a lovely salad last night, when I came across a past-its-peak carrot that felt fleshy and bony and strangely like a human digit (Haunted houses, anyone? It’s genius.). Inasmuch as there was no way I was eating a carrot that felt like a human finger, I tossed it on top of a pile of lettuce to go to the garbage.

And when I came back, it looked like this:

Gross. It matched my blogger finger perfectly.

I got to thinking later (this morning in the shower, if you must know), and realised I’ve come upon something genius–this is just the stuff that horror films are made of! I can see it now…

Carrot Man vs. Lettuce Lady in…Where Have all the Vegetables Gone??

Not only will your children never sleep again, but you can forget about them touching their salads at dinner.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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11 Responses to I’ve Just Thought of an Excellent Plot for a Horror Film…

  1. Joel says:

    Yeah, carrots are gross anyway. The texture has never appealed to me. They are always too hard or too soft. And I got the “Here’s how to use a Condom” speech/demo from my parents with a carrot playing the role of the man.

    I don’t much care for them. Wonder why…

  2. Anonymous says:


    Wonders never cease.

    Poor, poor Joel. Thanks a lot for the imagery; I don’t even know you, and I can picture this whole scene.

  3. Raygon says:

    maybe that is how the guys that produce beggie tales get their ideas. you should write this one in…

  4. Anonymous says:

    i will never look at a carrot the same way again.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I thought this was a G rated site.

  6. Amanda and Erik says:

    Oh my goodness, i am so glad that you have such an imagination to where you can bring such joy into our lives as the horror story of the carrot and lettace! It truely looks like a fingure! Creepy…

  7. shakened, not stirred says:

    Haha! Composty, Blogfinger.

  8. Mistakes for Marion says:


    I am completely grossed out. If your horror film was produced, I don’t know if I could bear to watch it.

  9. Steph says:

    Seriously scary how much that carrot resembles your finger!

  10. Anonymous says:

    not to be a nag, but… new post please!

  11. Anonymous says:

    I haven’t read this blog for like a week and the same story is still on there. Why not just tell people you are only going to post on say Mondays and Fridays or whatever. That way people won’t bother looking every day. It might be helpful to everyone concerned. :)

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