How many thoughts do you suppose the average human has in a day?
Lately it feels like I have ten times that number, whatever number we settled on. Like my mind is running ten times faster than the average person’s should on any given day. Not that I’m smarter, no…just more frazzled.
From the moment I wake up every morning, I’m struggling to keep pace with the relentless flow of ideas, memories, to-dos, reminders.
I’m drowning in my thoughts.
“Did Poor Kyle get there safely?”
“I need a job.”
“I must remember to pack my phone’s spare battery for my trip–I don’t want to be stranded without Tetris on my flight.”
“What on earth am I going to write my paper about?”
“Dang, I think I forgot to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer three nights ago. That’ll stink.”
“I wonder if my parents would rather have eggs or pancakes for breakfast.”
“Trash day tomorrow.”
“Frodo was awesome.”
“I need to renew my library card.”
“I will be so lame at BlogHer.”
“I wish I had written Harry Potter.”
“I wish I could write something half as good as Harry Potter.“
“Why do I suck at relationships?”
“This tomato sandwich is delicious.”
“Ted Bundy was a class-A jackass.”
“I should write a self-help book.”
“I should start a toenail clipping business…oh wait, that already exists…they’re called pedicurists.”
“I hate when my favourite scent gets discontinued at Bath and Body Works (so long, Brown Sugar & Fig).”
“If I leave class at 2 p.m. and drive north at 110 km/hr, and Poor Kyle leaves Calgary at 4 p.m. driving northwest at 80 km/hr, and the clouds turn into rain at 4:15 p.m., and he gets a flat tire at 4: 17 p.m., and I lose cell phone service at 4: 20 p.m., at what time will our lives ever be normal again?”
You know…those kind of thoughts.
Sometimes I have brilliant ideas but they slip away before I get a chance to write them down.
Other times my thoughts are mundane.
Either way, one thing is constant: they’re overwhelming. I can’t keep up with them all. I don’t know where they come from, and I’ve no idea where they go. If my thoughts were children, they’d be taken away by the state for negligence.
My thoughts aren’t getting me anywhere.
Do you ever feel like that?
In just over 24 hours, I’ll be starting a trip I’m not ready for. With money I don’t have. It doesn’t help that I’ve been researching serial killers for my class this week, so of course I’m convinced I will be raped and killed during some part of my trip, whether in the bathroom on the flight or in a deserted subway car or who knows maybe right there in broad daylight.
Hopefully after this trip is over and I return alive with my virginity intact, my brain will finally relax and my thoughts will return to normal.
(Well, as normal as they ever are.)
(Which, let’s face it…)