Just For the Record

If I die young, I do not want Poor Kyle to remarry.

Yes, some wives do tell their husbands to remarry if the situation occurs. Some noble wives give their full blessing and support to their husbands’ remarriage. They’re sweet.


I’m not. I don’t want him to remarry–I would probably haunt him if he did. I am not an understanding wife like that.

Is this selfish? Of course it is; and it’s more than just a little bit selfish–it’s really selfish. And why shouldn’t I be selfish? Haven’t I got the right to be selfish when it comes to my eternal life? If I support Poor Kyle’s remarriage, and he does so in a Mormon temple (where it will be for time and eternity, just like with me), that means I would have to share him with some other home-wrecker woman…for forever.

And that is not a thought I relish.

Whenever we have this discussion, Poor Kyle brings up the point, “Don’t you want me to be happy? You can’t seriously expect me to live my entire life all alone, can you?”

Umm, Poor Kyle? Don’t you want me to be happy? Life is short–we hear it said all the time. Eternity, on the other hand…it never ends. You can’t seriously expect me to happily share you with some other hussy for eternity, can you?? Don’t you want me to be happy forever, even if it means a few short years (okay, a lifetime) of your own loneliness?

Please.

“What about our kids?” he goes on to ask. “What if you die and we have a couple kids already? How am I supposed to raise our children alone?”

Poor Kyle, this is a non-issue. Teachers these days do a wonderful job raising today’s children. And by law, Canadian kids must attend school–so let the teachers raise them! Arrange with your boss to go to work an hour early every day so you can get home by the time our kids do, and take over for the public educators (or private educators, if you do what I say and send our kids to French immersion school [another issue which might cause me to haunt you, by the way]).

Kids raised without mothers grow into strong and self-sufficient adults, anyway. Look at me–I have a wonderful mother who is still alive, and I’m the biggest wuss I know. My kids are better off without me.

“Well, if I die young, I definitely want you to remarry,” he gallantly remarks. “I don’t think anyone should have to be alone for their entire lives.”

Yes, you would want me to remarry–a fact I find infuriating, by the way. Do you have no sense of jealousy whatsoever? It’s a moot point, anyway. If Poor Kyle dies young, I’ll be sitting pretty. I’ll have my eternal salvation covered, I’ll have tried the whole consummation-of-the-relationship (and realised I can live without it), and I’ll have a life insurance policy payoff. Hello, world, meet your newest first-class traveller.

Not that I want my husband of six months to die young–I would be crushed, naturally.

But what kind of idiot would I be if I tried to find another man who could put up with the mess of me? I’d be better off just to wait out my life in Europe.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in Married Life, what I'm about. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Just For the Record

  1. Cristin says:

    Ah, give it 5 years, you’ll won’t care if he remarries after you’ve been married a little longer. Believe me.

  2. Anonymous says:

    What if he didn’t remarry for eternity, just for this life. What if he remarried a woman that already had a dead husband to be with for eternity. Then would it be okay?

  3. Camille says:

    Cristin–I think you’re wrong. I’m really quite passionate about this.

    And Anonymous–You should not be anonymous. I’d like to know who you are. And I don’t know if it would make me feel any better just because he only married someone else for life. Yes, I said my issue was with sharing him in Heaven…but it might be a little bit of jealousy no matter what. You know? Even if I never have to meet her, I still might hate her a little bit.

    I think I already do, and I’m not even dead yet.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Camille,

    Like Hell you’ll send your children to be reared by Canadian teachers!!! P.K. can send them down here and Clint and I will raise them. (Nothing against Canadian teachers…I’m sure they are excellent. But teachers are not meant to raise children, Camille. That is not their job. Their job is to educate, not raise. Yes, because our school system is so screwed up down here in the U S of A, they often do end up playing a big role in some children’s lives, but this is not to be for my little Worthington nieces and nephews.)

    Ooohh…To think of my flesh and blood as mooches on society. The poor little rag muffins. I can see them already. Just send them to me, and then your problem will be entirely taken care of; Kyle won’t need to remarry for the children, and your children will still grow up to be strong, valiant, smart, contributing members of society. The nerve of you!

  5. Jolene says:

    My husband and I have been married for almost 12 years (it happens fast when you start at nineteen) and he wouldn’t last a year without a woman in the house. I just hope if I die before him that he marries someone unpretty. You know, eternal competition and all that…

  6. Holly Janeen says:

    just a friendly FYI, that will offer you no comfort and obviously not change your mind, because it is made… but just a FRIENDLY FYI…

    you would only have to “share” him if he married some woman who had NOT been sealed before. if he married someone who WAS sealed before… than guess what? HE IS STILL ALL YOURS!… because thats just how it works.

    and i tell you this as if you dont know it, but i am sure you do, and i am just throwing out more random obnoxious information that you will tune out and disregard!

    but i just wanted to say it.
    the end.

  7. Anonymous says:

    i love the repartee tween authour and reader. words, ideas, are shared tween comment and post.

    and i say yes to french immersion.

    i think pk will be your one and only eternal companion. sounds like he’s the one, for you.

  8. Anonymous says:

    your honesty is refreshing, and i want to let you know i agree with you 100%. some people may be ok with being polygamist or what not for time and all eternity, but i will fight to have my husband all to myself. he should care about my eternity, not his short mortal life. it’s not a matter of us being misunderstanding, we just are actually concerned about the future.

  9. Anonymous says:

    adell, given camille’s untimely demise, would kyle raise his own chidren? seems likely. i know, you’re being funny, just being funny back. what if she has triplets, and she dies young, at 27, and, wayne, dwayne, and shane, are 2ish, do you have space for that much baby stuff?

  10. Jami says:

    Camille, this is what I get for not checking your blog everyday! I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY agree with you! As I was reading your post I had fire running thur my blood…good fire of course…but you took the words right out of my mouth! As a matter of fact, after reading your post I took the chance to read it to spencer, and then have a heated talk about this. He is NOT to remarry (no one is good enough for my grace), my mom is to raise grace, and he is not to even DATE! And along with the “only for life marriage” comment…that doesn’t work for me. Spencer is not to have sex with ANYONE by myself! Spencer always replies…”just don’t die”…oh the nerve! I hate the response…i have no control over that! Camille, I loved this post…it is by far my favorite post, and I comletely agree…men that are married in the temple are not to remarry! What if they marry someone I HATE, and then I am stuck trying to be nice to them for eternity! Good post!

  11. Adell Atwood says:

    To the anonymous commenter:

    Yes, I’m sure Kyle would do an EXCELLENT job of raising the children himself. But they would need a mother, and Camille is not willing to share Kyle. So that’s where I come in. He can send them to me and I will take care of the little darlings. And yes, I would take Dwayne, Wayne, and Shane, and get rid of all the accompanying baby paraphernalia.

  12. A Letter To Kayleen says:

    …I’ll have tried the whole consummation-of-the-relationship (and realized I can live without it)

    awesome.

    i always told spencer, “if you ever remarry after i’m gone, i’ll for sure find a way to divorce your butt from beyond the veil.”

    but then i had kids. and everything that i thought i knew, changed.

    spencer’s allowed to remarry one of the girls off my new-wife list. there’s presently only 2 names on there. (you gotta make sure you can A. live with them for eternity and B. take ’em in the “looks” department.)

    so he has my permission, but not without restriction.

  13. Anonymous says:

    to adell

    right, i understand now.you should take the little hellions. camille would want it that way, after scarring d,w, and s with premature talk of immaculata. and pk does need time to date. (oops, don’t tell camille i said that)

  14. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » And Now for Some Worthless Three-word Phrases…

  15. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » My Last Will and Testament…

Comments are closed.