Me and all my muchness.

***Remember to enter for the Simply Memzelle headband giveaway; today (Wednesday) is your last chance. You can do that here.

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March has come to a close, and as I reflect on the events of the past thirty days, I cannot deny that it has, overall, been a very good sort of month:

March was the month I decided to take my appearance into my own hands (whereas before I left it very much in the hands of Fate, that sneaky little whore who always buries the exact sweater I want to wear at the bottom of the dirty laundry basket).

This new resolution is a source of constant irritation to my big sister, who thinks my blog has become too shallow and gimmicky over the last month, and while I admit I could do with a few fewer gimmicks, I will also admit that I truly don’t believe it is shallow to want to look presentable. I just want to feel better—more confident and collected—and I really don’t see that as a bad thing. In fact, I think people could benefit from such a resolution; I know I have. After an entire month of making a steadily conscious effort to dress a little nicer, I have found that both my mood and energy—yes, energy!—have been boosted by this newfound hobby. No, I’m not going to go out and buy a new pair of Louboutins for $1,000. But yes, I will probably dedicate ten or twenty dollars of next month’s allowance to a couple new sweaters from the trusty secondhand store. Shallow? Perhaps. I guess it depends on your definition of the word. I like to think of it as life-affirming.

March was also the month I was forced to relinquish my delusions of youth and accept the fact that, indeed, I am a granny trapped in a twenty-three year-old’s body. In March, I took out my soft Toric contact lenses for the last time. Ever. In March, I drove back and forth to school for two weeks wearing my fugly, ill-fitting glasses while I waited for my eyes to build up the Chuck-Norris strength necessary to handle the trauma of hard (gas permeable) contact lenses. I won’t lie: that part of March was awful. But I can’t deny that it’s getting better.

March welcomed Saturday Steals, the first blogging brain child of mine I actually thought would be an instant success.

March quietly shushed the shame of Saturday Steals, (not) the first blogging brain child of mine to disappoint me with its paltry outcome.

March reminded me that, only days before, I had promised myself I wouldn’t quit so easily, and I decided to give Saturday Steals at least an entire year of Saturdays before I declare it an epic failure.

March reminded me that I owe someone a $7.00 Amazon gift card, so Hazardous Undertakings, email me to claim your meagre prize.

Yeah, March was eventful.

A few other things happened this past month: Poor Kyle got fired from his job (by his dad no less, which makes for awkward family dinners?).

No, not really; I jest.

In actuality, Poor Kyle decided his one true love in life is not, in fact, the new PS3 he traded in for his Xbox 360; it’s not computer programming; it’s not woodworking or chores around the house; it’s not even me.

It’s truck driving, and that’s final.

So he embarked on a grand new adventure, and in the meantime, I’m still going to school and trying to figure out the adventures of my own life. Which makes for some lonely nights, but just in case you’re a stalker thinking about breaking into my house and r@ping me, don’t bother: I’m horrible in bed. (I’m repressed.) (Come to think of it, maybe that’s why PK decided to get the long haul out of this joint? Food for thought…) Also, stalker, I have a vicious dog who will tear you to shreds—every last beating blood vessel in your disgusting, deranged little body—if you even so much as think about trying to get a piece of this. Just so you know. Creep.

It’s okay that PK’s gone, though, because to dampen the blow of being a single wife once again, my husband promised to buy me a new (to me) car. I would totally take a new (to me) car over a husband any day, even if my husband weren’t the kind of guy to choose a semi truck over me any day (which he is). New (to me) cars don’t ask me if I’ve seen any of their clean underwear lately; new cars don’t care if I fall a little behind in the laundry. They live to serve…to serve me. Power trip Road trip, anyone?

Also, in Poor Kyle’s absence, I’ve found myself with more time than ever to devote to my career. (Ha. Career. As if.) No, but for reals. I admit that for quite some time now I’ve been in a bit of a funky place—not funky like “Dang, girl, strut your stuff,” but funky like “Dang, poor girl is in a funk.” A funk-ish place. Not a total depression; not even really sad; just…stagnant. Static. Stale.

However, this month I’ve been encouraged to keep trudging away at making my dream job materialise. I’ve finally decided that it is in fact my dream job, and not just something I do when I should be doing something else. It’s my dream job, and if I can actually be one of those people who does what she loves and gets paid to do it and can do it from anywhere…well, that’d be surreal. Surreal in a good way. Surreal in the Best Parts of Alice in Wonderland kind of way—the delicious parts that get stuck in your head and stay there forever, like when the Cheshire Cat says that it doesn’t matter which way you go if it doesn’t matter where you’re trying to get, or when Alice declares that no she hasn’t lost her muchness—that kind of surreal.

And this month, more than any in a long time, maybe even ever, I’ve been tossed a shred of hope that I might just make it someday.

I will forever remember March 2010 as the month the universe threw me a bone.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in blogger finger, change, introspection, looking back, Married Life, Overall Good Things, Poor Kyle, self-actualisation, thisandthat, what I'm about. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Me and all my muchness.

  1. Kristen says:

    Thank you for keeping Saturday Steals posts going for at least a year. I know it will receive more traffic. Unfortunately, you have a lazy blogger reader (ahem…me) and why I know I have quite a few steals in my abode I have yet to write a single blog post about any one of them. For this, I am truly sorry and I will try to write something in the very near future. See that right there? That’s vagueness at it’s finest. However, it is the best I can do. Here’s to April and that the universe throws you two bones this month.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Ok, let’s get one thing straight: your resolution to dress more together, if you will, is not a source of irritation. The incessant talking about the goal in a semi-shallow manner is the source for irritation because it makes you sound shallow, empty-headed, and froofy. All of which you ARE NOT. I’m glad that you feel more confident and self-assured when you are more put-together. I just don’t want to hear about how you coordinated all the colors and boots and accessories, yadda, yadda, yadda.

    Anyway, it’s posts like this one where your voice redeems the silliness of the clothing rants. This conveys what a good writer you are, even in just a typical monthly rundown. You make even this interesting. You are able to invoke emotions in your readers by the words you write. And that is what I would like to hear more of, instead of your diatribe about skinny jeans.

    P.S.: Thanks for the Alice in Wonderland quote from the CC. I’d forgotten that one. I think I’m going to write it on my chalkboard.

  3. Tisha says:

    What a fantastic post. And, if you’re ever feeling bored or lonely, feel free to come buy. We’re doing renos, so there’s always something to do. Just as long as you don’t judge me for my chaotic messy house. On second thought, maybe you could just call and I could come over to your non-consturction/two year old terror/newborn house where it is much quieter and definitely cleaner. Yeah, that sounds better!

  4. Rachel says:

    Glad your month has been good.
    Josh is working tons at the moment too. We can be single wives together.

    I agree about the clothes. It can make you feel better on the inside, knowing you are looking better on the outside!

  5. Ros says:

    Thanks for such an honest run down. I wish you all the best in pursuing your dream job. Your so lucky to know what you want to do. Grab that dream and go for it! xxx

  6. Maureen says:

    Sounds like you had a good month. Mine was … interesting. Hopefully April will be better.

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  8. Niki says:

    Glad to hear it! Well except for the lonely nights…but we all know how good you are in the self defense area(probably my favorite post) so really, I am not too worried about you.

  9. GRANMAMA says:

    I wish you’d share the Grandpa in Overalls story with your bloggers. It has so much depth. How about the book review idea?????????????????????????????

    I love that your career has taken a new turn. I am excited to share the “road trip” with you.

    LALS

  10. Geevz says:

    What, I won?! Huzzah! I must e-mail. March was not my best month. And now that I think about it, February wasn’t so hot either. Here’s to a rockin’ April!

    And my favorite part of this post was letter to the creep :)

  11. Jen C says:

    just because you spend money on yourself every month does not make you shallow. small things make you feel better and, in reality, $10 will not break your month. sometimes you just have to put yourself first and that’s that.

    sucks about being a single wife while pk is gone. my hubby worked nights while i worked days for 2 years and it was long, but when we finally had a chance to see each other for longer than 30 min….whoa buddy, watch out! it just takes some getting used to. mad props for supporting him. he’s lucky to have you :)

    sounds like this month was a universe-smacked-you-in-the-head-and-woke-you-up kind of month. good luck! hopefully your april keeps moving you forward

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