Poor Miss Philippines 2010—did you see her answer?
I know how she feels, though.
I had a job interview today and it may as well have been a Miss Milky Way pageant (or whatever) for as nervous as I was. I don’t know, I’m normally pretty confident in my 23 years of existence, but for some reason I was kind of loopy today. My tongue kept getting caught on my teeth, my words sounded fake (and not even the good, convincing fake, but just…bad). I left feeling like I probably wouldn’t get the job despite knowing I would be a great match for it.
The worst part of the experience was that awful question (not unlike poor Miss Philippines’s) they always throw down in interviews:
What’s your biggest weakness?
I hate that question. (I especially hate that I forgot to think of an answer ahead of time. I always think of answers ahead of time, dang it!)
What a stupid question.
Yeah, right, jerk, like I’m gonna tell YOU my biggest weakness!
No Miss Galaxy contestant would never admit getting knocked up at 14, or running a huge gambling debt on her grandmother’s credit card—or whatever her biggest mistake was—on national television. By the same token, I would never tell a future employer how I hate waking up in the morning, or how many hours I’ve spent not only watching but also analysing Gossip Girl, or that I drink a DDP (or more) a day and I think I’m a little bit addicted to it, or that nine mornings out of ten I fail to make my bed, or that sometimes my farts trick me, or that I can’t seem to buy organic no matter what I do, or that I’m awkward.
No way. I would never do that.
And yet, I know you’re supposed to have SOME sort of answer for that ridiculous question…but like I said, I completely spaced it ahead of time. And I spaced it even worse during the actual interview. I mean, looking back, I could’ve at least used some sort of Michael Scottism—”I work TOO hard” or “I forget to take my breaks” or “I’m too awesome,” or something.
But no. I couldn’t even come up with one of those.
In the end, I did the worst thing possible: I basically said what Miss Philippines said during last night’s Miss Universe 2010 evening gown interview question: “There is nothing major major…I mean problem that I have,” or in other words, “I am perfect and you are not.”
Major major flop.
On my way home from the interview I walked around Mayberry hanging up more flyers for piano lessons. I figure one or two more students oughtta make up for my lack of gainful employment this semester.