Where Has All the Love Gone?

My life has changed monumentally within the past few weeks.

I’ve become one of those people who hates people.

Okay, not really.  That is, I don’t hate all people.  And “hate” might be too powerful of a word to describe my feelings; it’s more like I’ve become disillusioned as of late.

The point is that I’ve changed, and I’m not sure that it’s been a change for the better.  See, Poor Kyle has taken on weekend job in which I play absolutely no part because that would be illegal since I can’t work in Canada, and I am nothing if not straight-laced and if you are the immigration people and you’re reading this: I never lie.

That said, I do, on occasion, accompany Poor Kyle to his job and provide him with support of the moral persuasion.  {After all, he did take the job so we could pay for my college tuition–offering him moral support is the least I could do.}  At any rate, the job is this: wake up on Friday and Saturday in the wee hours of the morning, commute 30 minutes, and clean a movie theatre which takes oh…about nine hours.  Nine.  Hours.  As in nine.

It’s wretched, truly, but the price is right for Poor Kyle (who is the only one working and the only one getting paid and the only one who really matters in this story [ahem]).

It hurts my heart to watch Poor Kyle work himself to misery on the weekends, after already putting in a full week of driving to and from Oregon.  But he doesn’t seem to mind too much, and it will help us get out of debt faster, so for now it will do.

But it hasn’t come without a price.  It’s made me hate the world.

Okay, okay…not the entire world.  Just the movie theatre world.  That’s right–I’ve become the kind of person who doesn’t like going to movies. Poor Kyle gets so sad when he hears this; he really enjoys a good flick on a giant screen with a soda only inches away.  Me?  I used to, definitely.  But…after not spending nine hours every Friday and Saturday night working up a constant flow of sweat, and not picking up fifty bags of garbage, and not finding used contraceptive paraphernalia, and not getting filthy popcorn-y mop water backsplash in my mouth, and not cleaning 30 toilets and urinals with nothing but rubber gloves and a sponge…

Photo (and interesting article) from here.

…let’s just say that my eyes have seen the ways of the world, and I don’t like it.  Not one bit.  All my illusions have been dissed. With every bag of popcorn spilled that I don’t clean up, I feel my thoughts turn increasingly bitter.  I imagine the scenario in which the mess was made—whether it was a 500 pound man who couldn’t reach around his front to transfer the bag from one hand to the other, or a five year-old kid who insisted she needed the biggest bag of popcorn and then threw it down when she was finished…

…I hate ’em all.  And I normally don’t like using the word “hate.”  I don’t like the malice in my soul, but I can’t seem to make it leave.  The filth, the gluttony, the willy-nilly scattering of popcorn kernels—it’s all worked its way into my once-(fairly) compassionate heart, and I want nothing to do with it.

Only now Twilight has come out, and I might sort of wish my gung-ho cold turkey attitude could have waited a few weeks.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in change, failures, I hate change, self-actualisation, woe is me. Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Where Has All the Love Gone?

  1. linda rae says:

    and did you mention that there are TEN THEATERS YES TEN.

    And that you didn’t get home till it was time for church Sunday morning, after working all night.

    I am so proud of my hard-working children.

  2. Wow. I feel for you. As a contribution, though I know you will not reap the benefit, as the theaters I attend are no where near yours in Canada, I will take my garbage to the can, and not leave it on the seat next to me, and I will not throw the old maids that they leave in my popcorn bag to break my teeth. I will gather them together to throw in the proper receptacle at the end of the film. All for you.

  3. DeAnna Wry says:

    I think those kinds of jobs are referred to as Character building…lol. Somehow cleaning up after people who are otherwise oblivious to the mess they are creating is supposed to make you somehow a better human being, right?

    Instead, I find it tends to make you bitter with some kind of amniosity for the careless individual who made the mess in the first place. I clean apartments for my job, when I first started I could not comprehend how any human being could, no would, live in such filth. Unfortunately for the filthy ones I have the power to evict them & then send them a large bill for all the cleaning, then choose a cleaner tenant.

    If your musings make it so you have one less spilled bag of pocorn to clean up in the theatre that poor kyle cleans all by himself, then maybe some kind of character building will come from those hours of hard labor.

  4. anonymous says:

    ha oh i’m so sorry that really stinks!

  5. RatalieNose says:

    You need to see Twilight. I have two words for you EXTREMELY NECESSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Kyle's uncle says:

    Sounds gross. Especially movie theatres. yuck.
    I think you already have character to (not) work such a job. At least it’s all for a good cause. I hope you two are able to get some extra sleep.
    (I haven’t been in a movie theatre for ’bout 20 years…i’ve never liked the slobbering mob all around. Piggy people).

  7. Anonymous says:


    I am so sorry for PK. Lucky for you that you don’t have to do that with him, but just get to stand by and offer moral support. What a wife.

  8. Emily says:

    Two things:
    #1 – I too share your loathe of movie theaters! excpet mine comes fromthe annoying people who choose to talk constantly throughout the movie or decide to interact closely with the person they havecome with… if i am paying $9+ to see a movie i want a quiet sanctuary where i can hear a pin drop and every second of the 80 speakers that surround me…. so i too don’t go to movies…
    #2 – I beleive it was your website that i used to use to link to another blog that i secretly stalked… did you link all of your old links to your new website?
    just wondering… if not i might have to stalk others to find the blog…

  9. Holly Decker says:

    i don’t blame you one bit.
    sounds absolutely WRETCHED.
    nine hours of ANYTHING would be a bit much, even if it was soaking in a hot tub… so seriously, cleaning up after messy theater visitors? oh my.
    which reminds me… ever since your one post where you said, “i am a good person- i even take the shopping cart up to the proper place after using it”… i am now constantly feeling like i have to do that in order to be a good person. its the silliest thing ever. like, that was fifty blogs ago, and yet i just cant get it out of my head.
    but don’t worry, i am not “obsessed”… so don’t feel anxious for me!

  10. Camille says:

    Linda Rae– Yes, indeed there are ten theatres. It is a wretched job that Poor Kyle has. I feel so sorry for him. Poor, poor Poor Kyle.

    Molly Shumway Rawlins– You’re right. I won’t reap the benefits of it and it won’t do me a lick of good, but I bet the Mesa theatre cleaners will appreciate it. Actually, they probably won’t even notice. But it’s still nice of you.

    DeAnna Wry– I know. And I tend to be on the bitter side anyway, so it’s really not good for my morale. But it’s going to pay the bills, so I’ll keep Poor Kyle on the job. Poor sap.

    Anonymous– Who are you? Thanks for your sympathy. It does really stink. PK’s job, that is. Not your sympathy.

  11. whitney says:

    Im sorry did I just read ” used contraceptive paraphenalia”? Thats disgusting! Im sorry for your non love of movie theaters now. My heart hurts for you and PK.

  12. Camille says:

    RatalieNose– I know, I know. I really do need to see it. And I want to. And I will.

    Kyle’s Uncle– 20 years–what a great record! I’m curious to know what the last movie you saw in a theatre…? Can you remember? And yes, you’re right…it is gross. I have not dealt with some horrid things in the past few weeks.

    Anonymous my sister– I know, right? I am totally, like, seriously the best…wife…EVER!!! For reals.

    Emily– Are you an Emily I know? Hi, anyway. As far as the link list goes…I did transfer all the links from my top list over (the ones of people I feel like I actually know). I keep meaning to add the links from the bottom list (people I haven’t met and am not really friends with), but I can’t figure out how to add a second list to this new website. So for now, I will go ahead and add the others to my one list, and maybe (or maybe not) separate them into two when PK figures out how to do it. Stay posted–they’ll be up tomorrow.

    Holly Decker– Well, I’m very very delighted that I’ve inspired you to do some good in the world. I don’t know when I made the conscious decision always to return the carts, but since I made it, I have found myself parking a LOT closer to the cart runways. It makes it easier for me to be a good person. And sometimes, in the freezing wind and snow, I REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t want to take it back. But I always do. Good person.

  13. Kyle's Granny says:

    Cheer up Camille! Look at all the kinda-sloppy habits you’re already changing in a goodly number of your blog followers. Look at it this way, “could be worse” …. how about any number of filthy jobs endured by countless pour souls who suffer 24-7 cleaning up after slobs. Call it character-building; now you’re seeing the worst, go for the best! And my BIG congrats for hanging in there, dear ones.

  14. Kyle's uncle says:

    i did see the first Star Wars in a theatre, can’t remember seeing anything after that, waited for the next two to go to “VHS”.

  15. Allison says:

    This sounds absolutely awful. Yuck! But, you will be pleased to know, I have always prided myself in placing my movie theater leftovers in the proper trash recepticle.

  16. Kyle's uncle says:

    That’s more like 30 years, ain’t it? Time flies when you’re not having fun. i remember now, In the 80’s i saw either Breakfast Club or Valley Girl in a theatre, can’t remember which.

  17. Kyle's uncle says:

    I do remember the last concert i went to….and that was definitely grade eleven, ABBA concert, i remember ’cause we skipped school, went to the hotel they were supposedly at, and wandered the halls imagining a chance meeting, (dumb kids). We did see them getting into a limo while security was kicking us out the side door of the building. Things were pretty lax then. So, grade 11, that would be ’79. The concert was, well, ABBA!!

  18. raygon says:

    EEEWWWW! You know my first job was at United Artist Theater on ValVista and Southern. Maybe you remember it, although it is a school or something now. Not the theater anymore. Anyway, I HATED cleaning after the movies. People can be so disrespectful. I mean it was not like they were trashing my house or something, but come on! Do they have to be so extrememly sloppy and messy? I feel for ya Camille. Such a sad saga.
    By the way, you can certainly use my story if you would like. Share it with the world. Kids dont need to buy toys for other kids to experience the majic of giving!

  19. bRAD says:

    That sucks that you have to not work cleaning theatres. That’s not something I would want to do.

    I once read a book that said that when we imagine humanity we think of the best people we know and it makes us feel good. But it would be better for us to think of humanity as the worst people we know, because it would be more accurate. I thinkthat is mostly true. It seems that you now have a better view of real humanity. Welcome to my cynical world.

    Good luck with school next semester.


  20. anon10 says:

    Camille, you would be proud of me. I walk all the way over to the trash and throw my gargabe away!

  21. firstanon says:

    30 toilets and urinals?
    Girl, THAT’S white trash.

  22. Heber says:

    Hmm…it would be interesting to view a survey of how dirty movie theaters get, in a geographical context.

    Also, are you cleaning up after a whole week of movie watchers? That’s what it sounds like. If so, that’s a lot of accumulation.

    When I worked in the theaters, we cleaned up after every movie, never let stack.

    And Hurricanes of Passion: I did have a specific thought in mind when I wrote it (not procrastination) but I like to leave my metaphors a bit open so other people are left the opportunity to see something different. I’m a total fan of the Socratic method.

    Thanks for leaving that comment it give me new perspective.

  23. Cristin says:

    Wow, think of all the money people waste with that spilled popcorn. If it’s as expensive in Canada as it is here, it’s like 10 cents a kernel. That is thousands of dollars wasted, on the floor.

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