My Last Will and Testament…

{I know you’re all thinking, “Seriously?  How much momentum can one girl get out of one tiny surgery?” The answer to that question is STICK AROUND; YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET.}

Inasmuch as I’m undergoing major surgery tomorrow {or today [or right this minute depending on when you’re reading this]}, I thought I’d open up the polls to see if any of you have any final burning questions for me. Normally, I take reader questions and dedicate entire posts to just one answer, but tomorrow we’re going to do it a little differently.

Note: This is an idea I completely ripped off from my good blog-friend who had an even more major surgery {if such a thing is possible} not long ago.

Here’s the idea:  You may take this opportunity to ask me any juicy question you have, and Poor Kyle will ask me all of them, in rapid succession, as soon as I am out of surgery (should I make it through alive), yet still doped up on sleepy-drugs.  I’m a ticking time bomb of words on a normal day—imagine the answers I might have when I’m completely incoherent! So ask away; any query your heart may have, I will answer.  In one massive post.  Whilst high on drugs.  And possibly grouchy and bloody, too.  It could get interesting.

Wish me luck.  If you don’t hear from me before Monday, you’ll know I’ve died.  Pray for my soul if I do die; I’d like to make it somewhere near Heaven, if at all possible.

Oh, and one more thing:  If I die, I want to leave all of my fines and debts, incurred at the Mesa Public Library, to my brother-in-law, Flint.  I believe it’s upward of several hundred dollars.  This is my final will and testament.

Oh, and another thing:  Family?  Friends?  I love you.

Oh, and one more “one more thing:”  If Poor Kyle remarries, I’m not kidding: I’ll be really really mad.  Especially if she’s skinny.  I hate her.

How’s that for a deathbed sentiment?

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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22 Responses to My Last Will and Testament…

  1. Anonymous says:

    Flint says cut the crap. My questions are:

    1. How did you know PK was the one?
    2. What made you decide to change your major to English?
    3. Which is better–Heroes or 24?
    4. Did you ever cut your sister’s hair while she was sleeping? Tell the truth!!!

    That’s all I can think of for now. I’ll write more later…

  2. I really hope you don’t die. My world would be much less humorous.

    What will you write your first (published) book about?

  3. chelsie says:

    good luck!!!
    I hope you live, you’re one of my only friends on the earth!!!!

    1. Is married life really worth it?
    2. Was taking a year off of school as nice as it sounds?
    3. Why is asu horrid in your mind (I have my own reasons)?
    4. When did you know we were going to be best friends?
    5. Are you over me calling you green with envy?

  4. a reader from far away says:

    I read your blog and I love it :)
    I would like to know why you got married at such a young age (I’m not American, I’m Dutch, so maybe it has to do with the cultural difference that I don’t seem to get it). So many people fall in love with different persons during their twenties (and later on in their lives). If I would have married my first or second (or third) boyfriend I would be divorced right now…
    Btw, when I had my wisdom teeth removed I thought I would die – horrible experience!
    Keep on writing, you’re good!

  5. Me says:

    This isn’t a question…just something I remembered from my removal that may be useful to you. Use bags of frozen peas as cold packs while you are laying in bed afterward. They conform to the shape of your cheek and reduce swelling so you don’t look as much l ike a chipmunk. You can freeze them again and again but don’t plan on serving them for dinner when you are done.

  6. jethro says:

    Kvetching questions on drugs, how juicy.
    What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?
    How far did you get in the backward count after the needle?
    Are you all whiney right now?
    What’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done?
    Are you going to milk this for all it’s worth? (as if that one’s not rhetorical).
    When the drugs wear off, are you going to heave at the taste of blood?
    Or have you already done so?
    Has PK laughed at, oops, with you yet?
    Did you leave the place on your own two feet?
    What’s the first thing you intend to ingest? Or already did?
    What colour was the horse that kicked you in the face? J/k.
    If you’re dead, does your mouth still hurt?
    Who get’s your MacBook?
    You’re not really giving your RED Kitchenaid to your MIL, are you? Hint.
    Can you see the vultures swarming?
    Have any pretty young things come to the door to console PK, oops, You yet?
    What inspirational thought have you learned thus far from the MAJOR surgery?
    Would you rather have stuck a needle in your eye?…and/or scalpels and various other devices?

    K….now it’s come back to about me…i’m done.
    Try not to die, eh.

  7. Katie says:

    This is a rare opportunity here. I should take full advantage. Let’s see…burning question, burning question, burning question….

    Got one!

    What do you want to be when you grow up? That is, of course, assuming you’ll live through this and actually have the opportunity to grow up.

  8. HeatherPride says:

    Camille, you will not die. Not even close. But I’ll say a prayer for you anyway.

    There. I just did.

    Oh, and guess what I embraced last night? It wasn’t my kids. Not my husband. It was……..

    cabbage soup.


  9. ann says:

    You are so funny. My thoughts exactly with your ending statment. “I will be mad.” LOL!

    Goodluck with the surgery. I love to be put out with drugs/Anesthesia.. It’s kinda cool to be talking to the doctor/dentist , and then feel like it has only been 2 minutes. It’s almost like you blink.. and it’s over. Then you get to sleep lots and be babied for a while. It’s not so bad.
    Get lots of rest.

  10. Christal says:

    First of all you are one skinny chick so don’t know what your talking about {I’d be mad too if D got married again don’t want to share him!} Second good luck with everything hope all turns out okay whatever it is. Get lots of sleep and and make sure pk spoils you! You are so fun I love reading your blog! Good luck with everything! SEE you soon!

  11. Jami says:


    Seriously, getting your wisdom teeth pulled is nothing. I was shopping at Target. You will be suprised at how easy it is.

    who to you hate most in your life?
    who is your favorite person?
    what is your favorite “position”

    That last one was for pure shock value!

  12. Christal says:

    okay I missed your last post now I know what its for your wisdom teeth@!ouch i feel for you some people getting the sucky end of that mine were easy and pulled out didn’t puff or anything! take it easy!

  13. Joel says:

    HOLY CRAP! That is A LOT of questions! So I won’t ask anymore. I’ll just say good luck and good luck for your oral surgeon and don’t die. It really isn’t that bad if your doctor knows what he/she’s doing… :)

  14. Holly Decker says:

    i am with you COMPLETELY on the remarrying issue.
    and ACK, i seriously have no good questions for you. *sigh*… now i shall never know if you lived or died! :(

  15. raygon says:

    I want to know hy you chose to be affiliated with your chosen political party.

    Good luck with the wisdom teeth. Mind over matter, Camille. You will make it.

  16. jethro says:

    Joel’s right, that is a crapload of questions, i didn’t mean to pose so many, i just type too fast, most of them were just for comedic value, many rhetorical, so answer as few as you care to, my dear.
    I’m so happy you survived. I was at work, making Lobster Chowder, this morning, sending you positive lobster kharma. I hope it helped.
    Good Healing.

  17. anna says:

    I don’t have any questions… so boring. But good luck anyway. I sure hope you survive. Wisdom teeth extraction is no way to leave this earth…

  18. How old were you when you got your period?
    What size of bra do you wear?
    Do you REALLY hate Walmart?

  19. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » You Can Take My Wisdom Teeth, But You Can’t Take My Spirit.

  20. Katie says:

    You’re alive! So glad to see you again. And thanks for posting the picture with the gauze in your mouth. I suddenly feel so much better about myself. Is that wrong???

    Feel better soon!

  21. colepack says:

    I know you did not die cause I sitll have 3 more post to read ;)

  22. Pingback: As Promised… | Archives of Our Lives

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