Let the record show (to anyone who read my previous post) that when Kyle and I started discussing ex-girlfriends, it was totally and completely my own doing. I brought it up, and when Kyle tried changing the subject (as any smart husband-to-be would do), it was I who re-directed the conversation back to his ex-girlfriends. My fault. I admit it.
I don’t know why I do things like that. It’s sick, the way I live my life. The “green monster of jealousy” is something I never thought I would have need to fear. And yet here I am, becoming the kind of girl who morbidly likes to ask about ex-girlfriends, only to sulk around all night in feelings bordering on insecurity. It’s ridiculous, plain and simple. I know in the end, I’ll have the last laugh because I got the guy… I know I should feel confidant that, if I ever meet any of these ex-girlfriends, Kyle would be proud to introduce me as his wife… And I know I should fight this petty woman I sometimes see in myself…
But as far as I can see, I am a long way off from being perfect.
[And if I ever do chance to meet one of Kyle’s ex-girlfriends, I doubt I will walk away with fond memories. But it will make a good post for my blog!]