{“Poor Kyle” Uncovered}

Why “Poor Kyle?” It all started during our engagement, when he was often the unfortunate outlet for all my pent-up pre-wedding stresses. Now that the wedding is over, the name has continued to seem…fitting. Because, of course, he’s married to yours truly, which means he has to put up with me for the rest of his life, and the rest of eternity after that (God willing). When I say, “Poor Kyle,” I don’t mean that Kyle is financially poor since marrying me–in fact, I spend less money than he does at Costco, and on more practical products. When I go to Costco, for example, I usually come away with boneless skinless chicken breasts, fresh produce, some bulk canned goods (building up that years’ supply), dryer sheets, and perhaps a treat like pot stickers. For a total of [usually] right around $100.00. When Kyle goes to Costco, he fancies buying thousand-dollar tool boxes and thousand-dollar tools to go in them. Financially, I may very well be the best thing that ever happened to Poor Kyle.

Emotionally, however, I suspect I am quite draining on my significant other. I have feelings, after all…and on both deeper and broader levels than Poor Kyle’s. When he thinks something is sad, I find that same something to be heart wrenching. If he thinks something is cool, I likely think that same something is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. If we disagree, he gets over it, because that’s how he was raised. If I am unhappy for any reason, I dwell on it (thus making me exponentially more unhappy, and–I know it’s pointless, okay?). I’m a dweller. I stew, brood, and dwell until it physically hurts, and then I blow up and start the whole process over again.

It’s a lot to keep up with, for a guy who likes “things that go vroom” as much as he does (like them, that is. Poor Kyle doesn’t “go vroom.” Very often.). I mean, here’s a guy who once bought his mom chocolates for St. Valentine’s Day–and charged them on her account at the pharmacy [I know. They still use the Honor System here in Mayberry]. Here is a guy who, despite receiving links, emails, and phone calls with specific items I’d love as a wedding gift, nevertheless found nothing to get me [maybe he forgot we were getting married?]. It’s okay, of course, because he was gift enough.

Poor, poor “Poor Kyle.”

As an aside, the song playing–“New Soul” by Yael Naim–is the best tune I’ve heard since Regina Spektor made her way into my life. Listen closely. I’m blogging about it tomorrow.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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10 Responses to {“Poor Kyle” Uncovered}

  1. Loralee Choate says:

    This is funny because I was wondering why you keep saying “Poor Kyle”.

    I think you are too hard on yourself.

    Dude. For one? He hates fungus, so that is obviously a point in your corner.

    You may brood, but give you both some time to be married. I have a feeling he will step up more and you will brood less. It takes time to mesh.

    You have loads of positives like being willing to leave everyone and thing you love and move to Canada.
    And? You are nice. I also highly suspect that you smell good. You put a lot of effort into being a good wife.

    And most importantly? You’re smokin’ hot.

    Freak, I’d marry you. At least you’d try to make me homemade marshmallows. :)

  2. angela hardison says:

    I love that song too… especially the video!

    If you like Yael Naim and Regina Spektor, you should listen to Feist (maybe you already have?)

  3. Kyle's mom says:

    In Poor Kyle’s defense, he was five years old when he bought me that beautiful box of chocolates at the pharmacy. He had only seen us “charge” stuff there, so he did not know the intricacies of paying the bill at the end of the month.

    Somewhat akin to his cousin, Cathy, who grew up with the impression that gas is free down at the local keylock bulk gas station. Because our family buys gas that way, she told someone to go to Garners…it’s free there.

    Runs in the family, I guess…

    lrf

  4. Lindsey Burnham says:

    Haha. Love this post! Especially the “I have feeilings” part. I felt like it was put in there just for me!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    One of the first things I noticed when I pulled up your blog today was how cool this song is! I thought, “Wow. I’m really glad she put this new, exceptionally hip song on. I wonder who sings it.” I will eagerly anticipate your post tomorrow…

    I do feel like Clint and I are partially to blame for your lack of wedding present. You see, we got you everything (well, at least every BIG thing) you wanted before you got married. Poor Kyle was at a loss for what to get you. And he had spent QUITE a lot of money before that just to woo you… Give him a break. Perhaps he’ll pull through next week on the big V-Day.

    Side note: Your nephew is wearing the VERY cute Osh Kosh B’Gosh blue and orange outfit you got him and looking rather dapper in it. He’s really starting to fill it out. He’s so big and growing bigger every day…

  6. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    After reading the other comments, I do feel that you were a bit one-sided in your box of chocolates argument. HE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD!!! Give the guy a break!

  7. Jami says:

    camille, spencer forgot to get me flowers after I birthed his VERY OWN KID! I know, I told him for months before that I wanted flowers, and this really cute necklace from domestic bliss that had a “g” letter on it (that stands for grace)…I didn’t get either one! I guess that he waas kinda overwhelmed with having his own kid! I have always thought that guys should give a gift to their future wife on their wedding day because the wifes gift is their virginity! COME ON, you deserve diamonds!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Kyle may be poor but he got a big bargain when he got you.
    I think he is extremely lucky to have landed such a WONDERFULLY, WISDOM-FILLED, WRITING-PRONED, WILLING-TO-LEAVE HER LAND OF INHERITANCE, WOMAN! (DID you notice the attempt at alliteration?)

    I would say that you are the poor one—living so far away, in no-man’s land! MAybe you should be called “VALIANT CAMILLE.” It’s a thought to ponder.

  9. Anonymous says:

    OH CAMILLE!!! YOU ARE AHMAZING!

  10. Jonathan and Sarah says:

    Camille, you’re so funny!I think we all have similar feelings to you at times… we all have a poor husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, etc. I never knew what a writer you were until I saw your blog. I should’ve known from how animated you always were. I hope Canada is treating you well.

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