Praying in Parallel Structure

It’s getting bad around here: I am really, seriously, 100% an English major.  I’ve taken the plunge and committed myself to the cause, however noble it may or may not be.  There’s no denying it now.

Know how I know?

Tonight, after my last class, I trekked out to my car in the relatively pleasant weather.  (By “pleasant,” I mean “even though it was below freezing, there was no windchill so it was like taking a stroll through the streets of Rome on a nice July afternoon.”)  I had finally rid myself of the two burdens I’d been carrying for so many weeks (papers which were due today), and I felt an enormous sense of relief and gratitude.  I realised I should probably thank The Good Lord, who undoubtedly played a major role in my still being alive, as opposed to dead in my basement from an overdose on DDP, and so I sat down in my car, locked the doors, and uttered a quiet little prayer.

I thanked Him for all my blessings, like the support of my family {relatives by blood and by marriage}, and quietly asked for one other blessing:

“I’m so thankful for Reading Week, Heavenly Father; please bless that I can be productive and relax.”

But something sounded wrong.  What was it?  “Please bless that I can be productive and relax…  Please bless that I can be productive and relax.” It took me a second, but I figured it out…

“Productive” is an adjective, but “relax” is a verb—my plea to the Lord was not structured in a parallel manner!  Horrors!  How would He ever understand what I was asking if I didn’t phrase it with clear, concise, and proper diction?

I started over, “Please bless me this week, that I might be both productive and relaxed.  Also, forgive me for praying without parallel structure for 22 years.  Amen.”

My English classes have seriously altered the lenses through which I view the world; I’ve got a brand new prescription.  Heaven, help us all.

p.s.  I talked to my professor about that exam. She didn’t demean me, which was good.  She did listen to my arguments (also good).  But, I only got an extra 1/2 point out of the deal, which means I received a 79% on the exam.  Still not a B, but, like my sister says, it’s not going to matter in 10 years…

…It doesn’t even matter now. I’m over it.  Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to visit with her.  I am not kidding: I read and re-read all the comments on my previous post, and once more right before my appointment with the woman.  It helped me feel more self-assured.  {I need to improve on defending my beliefs; normally I’m pretty much chicken @#(*&#@.}

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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23 Responses to Praying in Parallel Structure

  1. Geneva says:

    I’m glad that you did it! And if you start speaking in iambic pentameter, I think you should take a semester off.

    P.S. I was driving behind an Albertan today. They were going slow enough that I could appreciate that it is wild rose country. I thought of you.

  2. Geneva says:

    sorry for the second comment,but I just read your reply to my comment. I taught and intro to athletic training section. It was super fun because it was capped at twenty students. I just had to teach them how to use blood pressure cuffs, tape ankles and things like that so we had a blast. Little weird though because I had Jason Tabor’s big brother as a student. Do you remember him? He went to high school with us.

  3. Granamama says:

    Good for you. That’s my Millie. I love you whether you have parallel structure or not. My love is ALWAYS with you.
    Te amo,

  4. Haha! Love it. Nina Johnston would be proud!

  5. niki says:

    hey, it’s a 1/2 point more than you started with.

    your granamama is adorably sweet!

  6. anna says:

    First of all, English is not my thing, so I saw nothing wrong with the first prayer you uttered. Perhaps if I send you my prayers, you can edit them and maybe they’ll get answered sooner. :)

  7. Anonymous says:


    I’m sure the man upstairs won’t really care how you pray, just as long as you do pray. I couldn’t be more proud…

  8. Joel says:

    I have never even heard of parallel structure. I’m sure that God knows what you mean. Being all-knowing helps to overcome the grammatical discrepancies, I would imagine.

  9. Joel says:

    And I can only REALLY relax after having been productive. Like when the house is clean (haha, see what I said there?!) or when I’ve finished a big project. So it makes perfect sense to me that you would be productive and relax, i.e. have a period of productivity followed by a period of relaxation.

    So is what you said really all that improper?

  10. Holly Decker says:

    you leave me without words on this one!

    sometimes when i visit your blog, i find myself asking… does she make some of this stuff up JUST so she can write? or is she REALLY that witty, observant and coy? but THIS… this post answers my burning question. because there is NO WAY anyone would make up a story like this.

    and no wonder God has been slow to hear my cries… i use bad english daily in my prayers! -do you think that PK’s prayers are still answered?… i mean with all that DONE WORK stuff?? because if i had to listen to tons of prayers said like that… *shudder*…

    anyways… i must agree. you are officially an English major.

    ps. please forgive people like me who never capitalize… it must drive you insane.

  11. Nuts says:

    That is most excellent. I did think of you at noon, while i was making gravy. It’s more the exercise than the upgrade. Sounds like a nice lady, i bet she’d enjoy a few after class discussions on the finer points of that day’s work.
    I think you were an English Major a long time ago. You’re just refining your craft.
    The only remarkable thing i see about ‘productive’ and ‘relax’, is they sound like opposites, to me. What do i know….me no speaka dee Inglish. And, i’m lazy.

  12. Whitney says:

    you prayed without parallel manner?!!! Its a good thing you started over. ha ha. Oh camille. If you think he didnt understand you, then im going to have to go back and redo all of my prayers since I could pray. Dangit. Congrats on the 1/2 point. a 79 is way better than a 78.

  13. raygon says:

    glad you talked to your teacher! and repented for using bad grammar when you pray! you are funny!
    we made those cookies by the way…..delicious!

  14. Thais says:

    Now wonder my prayers aren’t answered all the time! I’m not saying them right! Gosh dang it!

    Thx for the comment dear. I’ve been sad because nobody comments on my carefully written blogs. :-( You made me happy again and encouraged me write a new blog. Please do stop by. :D

  15. HeatherPride says:

    I hope you are productive and able to relax as well. Congrats on the 1/2 point!

  16. EverybodyNose says:

    Yeah…you’ve lost it Camille….
    Lots of Love!

  17. I am sorry for slacking and not being here to give you my tidbits in a timely manner, but as you know I have been dealing with puking beauty.

    I found in college, that for the most part professors are heartless and uncaring when it comes to changing their grading styles. If i get a staunch professor, I attempt to switch teachers right away in the effort to maintain my preferred grades. Some teachers are just horrid human beings. Especially ones who are single women with Doctorates, I think it has to do with dissatisfaction and bitterness in their hearts. I do applaud you for trying.

  18. btw, DDP is my staple for survival. Love it! That and Cherry Coke Zero.. Lifesavers, I say.

  19. Crazy says:

    parallel is one of my favourite words.
    but if i prayed, i’d totally go non-parallel.
    it’s the ungodly rebel in me.

  20. Katie says:

    I laughed out loud at your post and now I have to pee. Because being pregnant means that any sudden movement – like laughing out loud – will require a subsequent visit to the bathroom. So, thanks.

  21. Katie says:

    (In the Heights was really good. Not as great as I expected it to be – weak story line – but the music was fantastic!)

  22. Niki says:

    Girl, I just wanted to say thanks for your comment on mine and whit’s blog. It helped my weary heart.

  23. Pingback: Nobody Listens to My Brain Waves Anymore. | Archives of Our Lives

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