SAVE THE CHILDREN FROM THE DEMOCRATIC MADMAN!

***I don’t usually get political.  But when it really matters, I feel I have no choice.  My apologies.***

I was shocked when I heard about the outrage many parents felt when they learned that President Obama would be addressing their school-aged children today.  (Actually, my first reaction was “Dang, that’s cool—Clinton and Bush never bothered to talk to me when I was in school.” My second thought was, “What’s up with the overzealous conservative parents?”)

I received many forwarded emails from parents concerned that their children would be forced to listen to the President of the United States—they could not believe that he had the gall to speak to their precious darlings.  What would he say?  He’d try to impose his left-wing political agenda on their innocent minds, to be sure.  He was probably secretly planning a plot to brainwash the children and use them as pawns in his game of taking over the world!  THIS IS JUST HOW HITLER GOT HIS POWER, BY FORMING HITLER YOUTH!  OBAMA IS A NAZI!

I literally read, with my own eyes, a forwarded email from a woman, writing to the superintendent of the school district from which I graduated (Mesa Public Schools), who was pulling her children out of class during the scheduled broadcast.  It was a woman I have met and respect—she sent me a toaster for my wedding (thanks for the toaster, by the way!).  I could not believe how anxiety-ridden so many parents were over Obama’s speech to the children.  THE CHILDREN!

Now that he’s given it, of course, I can see that the concerned parents were totally validated in their protests.  OBAMA IS THE HITLER OF THE NEW CENTURY.  GATHER YOUR FOOD STORAGE AND HEAD FOR THE HILLS.  SAVE YOURSELVES.  And most importantly, SHIELD YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE SINISTER FORCE THAT IS UPON US.  It’s for your own good.

The man started out by telling the students that it’s understandable if they’re nervous to be starting school, and that he knows the feeling of wishing he could stay in bed for just a little longer before school.  Can you imagine?  The president of the United States encouraging the children to feel validated in their exhaustion?  Clearly, Mr. Obama was trying to lure the children into a false sense of security—he wants them to feel like they can trust him.  Just the sort of thing Hitler would have done. RELATING TO THE VICTIM IS THE FIRST STEP TOWARD BRAINWASHING, you know.

Then, he went on to say that the students had RESPONSIBILITY for their own educations.  IMAGINE!  Giving America’s CHILDREN their own FREEDOM to take their LIVES into their own HANDS!  The very nerve!  Everybody knows CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS CAN’T BE TRUSTED WITH ANYTHING, least of all their own LIVES!  Just look at what he said {emphasis added by me, but you KNOW he would have added it himself as part of his brainwashing scheme if he were the one writing this post}:

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, the best schools in the world — and none of it will make a difference, none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities, unless you show up to those schools, unless you pay attention to those teachers, unless you listen to your parents and grandparents and other adults and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. That’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education.

That’s right, my friends.  Barack Obama told our children that they need to take responsibility for their own education.  I have no doubt that he fully expects them to belly up to the bar of the democrats.  There are HIDDEN MESSAGES here, but I can see them CLEAR AS DAY!

But that’s not all!  He goes on to say that an EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT.  He says that the FUTURE OF AMERICA DEPENDS ON THE CHILDREN.  Psh.  As if, Barack. He says that they’ll need knowledge and skills that they learn in school to go on to become productive members of society—CLEARLY, this man is thinking of the future of the country, when what we need is HELP RIGHT NOW.  Why think about the future when we have problems in the present?  Tell me something: What politician do you know who thinks about anyone but him or herself?  DRAWING A BLANK?  That’s because there ARE NONE.  I smell something fishy…

But wait!  There’s more!  He continues:

I get it. I know what it’s like {AGAIN WITH THE RELATING TO THE CHILDREN!  THE CHILDREN!}. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mom who had to work and who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us the things that other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and I felt like I didn’t fit in.

So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been on school, and I did some things I’m not proud of, and I got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.

THIS MAN IS TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY CAN BE RAISED IN SINGLE-PARENT FAMILIES AND STILL MAKE IT OUT ON TOP!  The very nerve.  EVERYBODY KNOWS that THE CHILDREN will only succeed if they are raised by ONE MOTHER and ONE FATHER.  Everybody knows that. Barack Obama is trying to FORCE ALL OUR CHILDREN TO GROW UP AND GET MARRIED AND THEN GET DIVORCED AND WREAK HAVOC ON THE FAMILY.  THE FAMILY!

He tells OUR CHILDREN to write their own destinies, and make their own futures…the next thing we know he’ll be telling them they can think for themselves, and THEN WHERE WILL WE BE?  WHERE???

And then!  THEN! Barack Obama’s three examples of persistent, responsible students were named, “Jazmin,” “Andoni,” and “Shantell.”  Do those sound like AMERICAN names to you?  I DON’T THINK SO, BARACK!  Why not “Bob,” or “Sally?”  Why not use some good, old fashioned AMERICAN names for examples?  I’ll tell you why—because Barack Obama is an IMMIGRANT LOVER!  HE WANTS ALL THE IMMIGRANTS TO HAVE BETTER JOBS THAN THE REAL AMERICANS!  And there is nothing we Americans hate more than having our jobs threatened by an ILLEGAL ALIEN.  THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!

As if that isn’t bad enough, Obama goes on to encourage our children to value hard WORK, and to practice and STUDY.  Why?  Because, according to Barack, “WHEN YOU GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, YOU GIVE UP ON YOUR COUNTRY!”  Well, I have news for President OBAMA: We are not on this earth to FIGHT for our country!  We are here to look out for number one.

He finishes up with a transparent call to action (just the kind the Nazis would have loved) PRACTICALLY FORCING OUR CHILDREN!—THE CHILDREN!—TO TAKE A VOW OF SERVITUDE TO THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF!  Look what he says:

What’s your contribution going to be?

I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down. Don’t let your family down or your country down. Most of all, don’t let yourself down. Make us all proud.

See?  Right there—he expects GREAT CONTRIBUTIONS from EACH of the children.  He didn’t say it in so many words, but what he meant—WHAT HE COMMANDED THROUGH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE BRAINWASHING SUPERSONIC RADIOACTIVE AIRWAVES—was that each American child bring something of value to the table of the LIBERAL POLITICAL AGENDA.  “MAKE US ALL PROUD?” Make WHO proud, Mr. Obama?  Make YOU and your left-wing liberal crusaders proud? I DON’T THINK SO!

...Phew. I’m glad I got that off my chest.  I tell you what, it’s a sure-tootin’ good thing I don’t have children to defend from this democrat madman, because ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE if my kids were forced to sit in class and be told by their country’s president to work hard and stay in school.

That is just not the message I want them to hear.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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40 Responses to SAVE THE CHILDREN FROM THE DEMOCRATIC MADMAN!

  1. afton says:

    hahahaha. i’m not going to lie, i haven’t watched the actual speech yet but i think i liked reading your version better. i’m a conservative and with my little political knowledge i’m not the biggest fan of obama. in fact not a fan at all. but this seems like something i could get behind. school is cool? alright, i’m down with that. also, how did you get forwarded messages of outraged parents? and can you send them to me? i mean really are people crazy??

  2. Anonymous says:

    AMEN and THANK YOU. Hell, I thought I was the only Mormon around here with any sense. I cannot understand these conservative, right-winged people (lots of them–but not all–Mormons; let’s be honest) who are so paranoid about letting their kids think for themselves, and who fear the unknown. Really? REALLY??? I couldn’t add anymore to this post than what you have already said. I am giving you a standing ovation right now.

    And by the way, I think this could qualify for your best satirical/sarcastic post yet. Oh, and your tone was delicious; I could practically hear your screaming through the screen.

  3. Lisa says:

    HA HA HA!!! You are totally insane.

  4. Shesten says:

    Well, I’ll start out by saying I know you’re being sarcastic, but tell you that I was kinda mad that he said that the kids are expected to go to college… if you don’t, you’re letting your country down and yourself. Well, how ’bout we take all that money he wants to spend on universal healthcare crap and make universities free to everyone. If you really want to invest in our future, invest in everyone’s education… made post-secondary free to everyone (white, black, male, female, one-parent, two-parents). That way we don’t all have to start out our adult lives at least $20k in debt. (I am not a Republican or a conservative for that matter, so before anyone yells at me, just chill.)

    I also believe that if the president wants to address the school children that he should do it during prime time when their parents are present. I just think it’s more respectful. That way the parents are there to discuss what the president says with their children. I think it would have been a great conversation starter in the homes of America – one that would have benefited the American family more than it will benefit just the school children alone. I recognize the arguments for why he did it the way he did it, I just don’t agree with them. Just had to put in my two cents.

    Anyway, awesome post… :o)

  5. RatalieNose says:

    Um this is probably the greatest thing I have ever read!! My parents and I thouroughly enjoyed your take on it!
    Bahahahahaha!

  6. DeAnna says:

    LOL! Seriously, as if people were freaked out by that! Come on, children have brains and can think for themselves.

    Great post!

  7. Jeff says:

    First off, I think it’s funny that parents get worked up over silly things like this. Heaven help us! Do they really think that the President is going to say something outrageous that he’s totally going to get burned for later? Please…

    I also wondered about Shesten’s comment…”universal healthcare crap.” I know this is off topic, but could somebody fill me in on why our friendly neighbours to the south have such a beef with this? Sorry to fire off a tangent here, but I’m very curious. I quite like our healthcare. Why would somebody be opposed to being able to receive medical aid without wondering if they can afford it? And yes, it would be nice to have our college paid for. But for those who’ve been to college, wouldn’t you agree that those who paid their own way typically put forth more effort than those whose parents (or whoever) paid for it? Am I the only one who observed this?

    No, this wasn’t a ‘yell’ at Shesten…it’s an honest question.

  8. mameelynn says:

    This was a great post! I read it out loud to my hubby and he thought that it was a blast also! I can agree with Shesten about the timing of the speech. I think that it could have been a good idea for it to be on when a family could watch it together but in today’s world it would be pretty much impossible to pick a time to air it that the majority of people could view it… I don’t agree with Shesten about the put the money he wants to use on health care into free secondary schooling. I would rather have my children work hard and pay for their own education (with help from us as well) than have them need to worry about the costs of health care. Coming down from Canada to the USA I have come to find that I have a lot more stress in my life whenever I have to worry about getting sick…. I never worried about it in Canada and now it is like a nagging, aching sore in the back of my brain all the time….. Just the way I feel about it.
    But yeah great post!! I loved it!

  9. Rachel says:

    Amen, sistah! I don’t understand what the big deal is. I personally like President Obama and I think it’s great that he’s taking an interest in communicating with school-age children. I think the whole controversy comes down to a lack of respect. Whether it’s lack of respect for the office or lack of respect for the individual in office, I couldn’t say. I think back on his acceptance speech when he won the election. He said that he knew that there were a lot of people out there who hadn’t voted for him, but he hoped to be their president too. I don’t always agree with him, but I respect him and his office. (And I’m a Mormon in Utah!)

  10. Jethro says:

    obama: smartest thing america has done for a long time.
    universal health care: simplest idea since the human family cared for itsself, before money and greed arrived.
    on a personal note, i was a bit surprised by the conservative (erg, it hurts to say it) backlash riled up by the affair. why is there only two sides to this thing? sorry, i’m canadian, i don’t understand.
    but i sure as hell admire your gumption to speak on it.
    i was mormon, now, and still, in alberta.

  11. Crissie says:

    I guess I’m also one of the folks you’re poking fun at since I had my kids stay home. I didn’t keep my kids out of school for any brain washing fears. I’d already read his speech online.
    My kids stayed home because I used my freedom of choice.
    I ask you, why do I need a president who is running this country into the crapper tell my kids about staying in school? Perhaps he should have added that they’ll need great jobs to help pay off the tremendous debt he has run our county into. And maybe if they study very hard, he will appoint one of them to be another “Czar” of his.
    I do not respect our president because he doesn’t respect America. He doesn’t even like us and he’s done his very best to apoligize to other countries for us.
    Sometimes the best voice we have is when we say nothing.

  12. Jethro says:

    maybe i shouldn’t have have deleted my previous tweetwah account. sounds like you were listening to me. but then, i have a broken amygdala. those were some funny tweets.
    i think you’re one of the many dual citizens that can see this thing from both sides now.

    kay, screw universal anything, my neighbour is blasting his tv noise through a very thin wallboard wall. i’ll need to deal with that soon. usually involves running the dishwasher.

  13. Chloe says:

    hahaha! I love your post! It’s great!

  14. malia says:

    I feel very fortunate that we missed out on alot of the hubbub that was brewing back in Arizona.

    It was no different when he spoke at our college graduation in May, people all up in arms that he is pushing a socialist agenda. And what happened? Absolutely nothing. His speech was fantastic.

    It’s not surprising though, that conservatives or even people in the church rallied around this. Group mentality. I just found it interesting that seconds after his speech, people who were peddling their political wills on facebook were back tracking saying, “well I never said it was going to be awful.” Really? Because I’ve been getting a hundred notifications that you have.

  15. malia says:

    I just realized my comment sounded extremely cynical, but let me assure you it is not. I just find the whole thing amusing really.

  16. Katie says:

    this post is perfection. PERFECTION!

  17. Liz Wood says:

    Ok so I loved this post!! I totally agree with you too! It’s really is nice to read something that I actually agree with. As you mentioned about super conservative mormons, it is definitely hard being a liberal democrat here in Mesa. I too want to encourage my kids to work hard and hopefully go to college! I can’t believe how worked up parents got over that. I think it was a great speech. Thanks for your post! Just one question… Does your husband feel the same way? You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want, I was just wondering.
    Again, your post was awesome!

  18. sandra742 says:

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  19. Magnificent satire, Camille! I listened to his speech too, and could detect no subversion, just a beautiful message to the children of America to stay in school and do their best. Sorry, I can’t understand the logic of some of your fellow citizens. I would like to say much more on the subject, but in the interest of international relations and prevention of a BLOG WAR, I will keep my mouth shut. Keep writing, dear girl, this one is a masterpiece. You have much potential.

  20. Maureen says:

    When I first heard about Obama giving a speech to the kids on the news last week, they interviewed a teacher/administrator from Santa Fe who actually said “we just want to get it over with so that we can get back to teaching math and social studies and more important things like that.” And I was just like… wait a minute, WHAT?

  21. Jethro says:

    i got out of “college”, well, university, is that a canadian word?, with 80grand in student loan debt, which i fully repaid. i was thankfull for my government’s help. and i didn’t do it to save the nation, or get a high paying tax contributing job, i did it because i love to learn.
    one correction to everybody who thinks otherwise; your current president isn’t spending the country into the crapper, that’s been going on for however many years you’ve been fighting useless wars on the wrong enemy, socialism is really now a dead meaningless word, and i’m perfectly willing to start a BLOG WAR. i’ll presume human casualties will be slightly less than the war with guns and hate thingy.

    the mention of ‘sarcasm’ and ‘best post ever- ishness’, to me, dismiss you taking a serious, thoughtfull stand on what laughingly has become a very real and BIZARRE division in american politic.
    beyond the economic of blog readership, you’ve ventured into a place of real impact, provocation to thought. possibly leading to clarity for one or two of your readers.
    that’s the only reason, in real time life, i ever open my mouth. which is not often.

    (you knew i’d overcomment on a hot button political post. interesting the length, and breadth, of other comments. i discuss state of affairs with hundreds of americans, none mormon, you’ve taken a bold step into the outside of your previous capsule.)

  22. Camberley says:

    I love this post!

    I have been so annoyed with all of the ultra conservative moms (who probably don’t know a thing about politics {other than what their husbands have told them}on Facebook ranting about this. I’ve wanted to comment on many status updates with a “shut the ___ up!”. I’m glad there are other people out there who feel the same way.

    Wow- that felt good. I didn’t realize I had so much pent up anger. lol

  23. I was one of the people that wasn’t in favor of the speech, but it doesn’t mean that I was following “the group”. No. I just have always had conservative views. But that’s not a bad thing…everyone has different views and that is what makes America great.

    Even if I don’t agree with your post, I commend you for taking a stand :)

  24. jfbast says:

    i randomly blog-hopped to your page long ago, but have never left a comment. i think this is my favorite post so far. kudos to you. so funny and so true.

  25. Alexa Mae says:

    oh camille, this was great. great writing. great points. you are da bestest! this was hilarious with very wise point of view. looooove you girl!

  26. Bethany says:

    Yeah that is a little crazy that parents were going to take their kids out of school for that. It’s a speech about getting a good education….how harmful can that be? I don’t agree with most of Obama’s policies but getting a good education is something I think everyone can and should get behind!

  27. Liz says:

    This was great, Camille. I agree with you 100%. The type A personality in me would really like to post a ranting comment to some of the conservatives on here, but it would do no good. So I’m just gonna leave it as it is:

    Bravo to Camille!

  28. Heber A says:

    I’m most interested in what may happen now. After George H. W. Bush gave a similar speech to schoolchildren in 1991 the Washington Post published a post accusing his actions as underhanded. The then Democrat controlled Congress proceeded to investigate whether the funds for the broadcast were used properly. Bush’s education secretary and other administrative officials were questioned at hearing by the general accounting office.
    Unfortunately for the Republicans, they don’t have control of congress so most likely the Democrats won’t repeat their actions of 1991. This time around will most likely end in only complaining.

  29. Katie says:

    You can’t see it, but I’m applauding you at my desk at work. Bravo! This is my favorite writing from you. So honest. So funny. I love when you take a stance.

    I think he was smart to address students in school. He really needed to speak to those students whose parents wouldn’t have spent the time watching the address with their kids and then talking about it. Its sad to say, but for some kids that is the most support they’ll get all year.

    I am Conservative and I am not a huge fan of Obama’s political viewpoints (although I think we’d make fantastic friends!), but if you ask me I think its downright unAmerican to pull your kids out of school when the President of the United States is speaking. What kind of lesson are you teaching them? That if someone is different than you or has different ideas, then you don’t have to pay attention to them. If you disagree with him and his viewpoints (which he did NOT impose yesterday), then talk to your kids about THAT when you get home. Use it as a time to have an age-appropriate discussion about our democracy and explain that while YOU don’t agree with him, over HALF THE COUNTRY agreed enough to elect him. And that alone deserves the respect of at least listening to him.

    Disrespect breeds disrespect, no matter which side of the issue you are on. That’s all I’m saying.

  30. Holly Janeen says:

    you are hilarious and i am reading this to my husband ASAP when he gets back from school.
    you have no idea how pertinent this is to our lives. my dear mother has been sending us “warning” emails for weeks now. and Jeff was disgusted. and he will LOVE THIS.

  31. jami says:

    I think the reason that so many parents were worried about this speech was Obama’s record? He has been making some SERIOUSLY dumb moves. I just don’t think that they trusted him….as a matter of fact I don’t think people trust people in politics PERIOD!
    I really don’t have a problem with him addressing the kids. I just have a problem with him in general. I don’t think I would be happy if any scum sucking polictical man or woman wanted to TOUCH my kid. They are all lying idots.
    I do think that a lot of crazy conservatives are going a bit crazy. But when you see the facts, you do get a little scared. So you are probally right , people went a little over board. But the fact remains that Obama is freaking people out. You can call your congress man or women all you want, but not letting your kid listen to him sends a HUGE message that you aren’t happy with the man.

  32. Jethro says:

    this seems nothing like JFK’s short shiny presidency. i hope that new prezmobile can handle a handheld missile.

    “happy with the man”? ummkay.

  33. Jethro says:

    not letting your kids listen to your first black president is like stealing history from them. they don’t actually belong to you. they belong to themselves.

  34. Jethro says:

    twitter sucks. i impressioned myself with the impression of having all the selfguards in place, and they continue to ablate me with money sucking whore program what the F ever. applications they call them. draw your own reference.

    i know, you all hate me, but the auteur has always given me the thumbs up.

    i like her too, funny how that can happen here.

  35. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » Like a Lamb to the Slaughter

  36. Christal says:

    great read you are such a great writer Camille!! hope you have a great school year!!!

  37. kayleen says:

    “THE CHILDREN!” — so funny.

  38. I love your site. :) Love design!!! I just came across your blog and wanted to say that I

  39. Rachel says:

    hee hee. I missed the speech, but I like your version.

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