School Shopping for the Rich and Trendy. (Me, duh!)

It’s that time of year again—autumn.  With school in its first stages (for me), I have decided to embrace the tradition my mother taught me long ago—school shopping. Buying new clothes is at times tremendously tedious, but nevertheless can, on occasion, give me quite a boost.  I need to keep up my happy countenance regarding the upcoming semester, and shopping for clothes seems like just the trick to do it.

So I was browsing online through some of my most favourite and especially trendy (because you know I’m nothing if not trendy) e-stores, and I thought to myself, “Self?  If you’re already shopping, you might as well make a blog post about it and hit two birds with one stone.”

And that’s how I decided to share all my sweet finds with you today.  Brace yourselves.  This is going to be fun.

First up…

A new semester just wouldn’t be complete without the addition of a one-piece skort/culotte/bodysuit combination:Roots CulotteThese are totally in right now.  I’m pretty sure.  Originally priced at $68.00, this fine frock was a bit too rich for my blood, but now that summer is drawing to an end (sobs!), it has been marked down to a cool forty bucks.  Not bad, considering all I will be getting with this purchase—it’s a shirt, it’s a pair of shorts, it’s a safari cruiser!  This is a definite closet staple that no college co-ed should be without.  The short, short shorts and absent sleeves will be especially perfect for the impending doom upcoming Canadian winter.  Image from roots.ca.

Next, I’m moving on to trendier stores—I mean, Roots™ is nice and all, but everybody knows if you want to be really stylish, you have to spend a lot of money.  So I’ll head to the best place I know for such a thing: Anthropologie™.

Out-of-Many sweatercoatThe exact description of this sweater-coat reads, “A cleverly crafted cover-up of reclaimed knits and cables, plaids and soft terry lining… Due to the handmade and recycled nature of this item, no two will be exactly alike.” I’m all about going green and saving the planet, so of course I will be glad to plop down $302.46 Canadian Dollars for this shapeless pile of knitting-floor feces.  In fact, $302.36 Canadian Dollars is a small price to pay for the knowledge that somebody filled one less bag of trash on garbage day because of me.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (and that’s not just because the reclaimed knits are so cozy).  Good thing it came from Anthropologie™ and cost me $302.36 Canadian Dollars, or people might think I am a hobo with suspiciously clean fingernails.

Of course, no fall semester of school would be complete—especially in Canada—without a new pair of boots.  Despite the confidence my first two style decisions have given me, I am nevertheless a little anxious about this purchase.  See, I know I need a pair of boots to be cool, because that’s just a fact of life: all the cool girls wear boots, and the very coolest girls wear their skinny jeans tucked into their boots. So I know I need boots.  But the problem is, even though I’m an expert at picking out skorts and reject sweaters, I always worry about boots—I just never know what looks good!  I don’t know how to wear boots.  It’s a scary decision for me, so I just decided to go ahead and play it safe with these Sanuk Shag Boots from the Buckle™ (again with the cool store—cool store=cool digs=cool girl=that’s me!):

Shag Boots

So cute, right?  I KNOW!  I heart them so much, especially the sweet little crocheted detail at the bottom.  I’ve watched enough What Not to Wear to know that, when dressing oneself, one must always focus on the details.  Even though I was sort of unsure about these boots, I really think Stacy and Clinton would approve.  If I want to, I can wear them with my African safari skort getup, which would show my legs from thigh to calf and would totally be super hawt; or I could wear them like the model:

Sanuk Shag Boots(See what I mean about all the cool girls tucking their jeans into their boots?  It’s just the thing to do.)  But it sort of makes her look like she has way huge bell-bottoms on, and that’s like, so retro in the NOT good way, so maybe I’ll pass on that…

clydesdale horseEither way, you can be sure I’ll look smokin’ hot, just like everybody’s favourite beer horse does when she wears her boots.  Image from here.

Lastly, I decided to treat myself with an eye-catching accessory for the upcoming semester.  Since I’m so trendy and fashionable, I happen to know that the item everybody needs this season is a Statement Necklace…as in, a necklace that makes a statement.  So first I thought I could save some money and just dig out my old “Friends” half of the “Best Friends” necklace I split with my BFF from elementary school, because that would make a very good statement—it would say, “Friends,” and there’s nothing friendlier than that.  It would automatically tell all the other kids in my classes that I’m totally approachable and friend-worthy.  That’s the kind of statement I like to make.

Best Friend NecklacesImage from here.

But then I remembered that I have to spend a lot of money to be cool, plus I didn’t feel like climbing a ladder to the attic, so I decided to head back to Anthropologie™ for my last stop of the day.  And that’s where I found this amazing statement necklace that is totally perfect for me:

Collar NecklaceWe’ve already established that I love two-in-one pieces, so it’s only obvious that I would fall in love with this fabulous pearl/collar/bow trio.  Talk about hitting a million birds with one giant stone!  This statement necklace says, out loud, for everyone to see, “Hi, my name is Camille and I’m totally extravagant enough to pay to be cool.  You wish you could be as cool as me.” It costs $178.31 Canadian Dollars, but if you divide that number by three, it comes out to being only $60.00 per function!  Sixty dollars for a string of pearls, sixty dollars for a giant satin collar, and sixty dollars for the bow (which, by the way, is so enormous that I can use it to wrap it up as a gift to myself—so now that’s FOUR functions in one!).  In a moment of cheap-o-ness, I almost grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the collar off my great-granny’s fancy Sunday dress to wear instead, because it would look exactly the same and nobody would know the difference, but I decided against it because one, her dress is like, a family heirloom or something; and two, it wouldn’t cost enough money for me to be cool.  Free is totally lame.

Anyway, I know it’s boring slash sad to see what I get to spend my gobs of money on, when all of you are probably just too poor or maybe practical to be frivolous like me, so I’ll end this mini brag sesh, mmkay?  Oh, but don’t worry if you’re sad about me being done—I’ll make sure to report when all my new stuff comes in the mail.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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12 Responses to School Shopping for the Rich and Trendy. (Me, duh!)

  1. Anonymous says:

    My favorite quote: “…of course I will be glad to plop down $302.46 Canadian Dollars for this shapeless pile of knitting-floor feces.” I love that you used feces in one of your post. The word. Not the image.

    If this is what being happy has done to you, I’d say give it up. Did you overdose on Seriously, So Blessed today?

  2. DeAnna says:

    Freakin awesome/hilarious! I admit that I used to love back to school clothes shopping, well at least for the 3 years of high school…before then my mom did the shopping, sweat suits in every color, need I say more.

    Now as a mom I am really picky and really stingy when it comes to my wardrobe. But when you have two kids to feed and clothe, plus a hubby who is hard on clothes, well you do what you’ve gotta do. I think the last pair of pants I purchased were under $10. I could spend hours in a Wal-mart or Zellers or even a Real-Canadian-Superstore looking for the best deal that actually looked mom-fashionable. On occasion I take that hour and a bit drive to a real Mall…our pretend mall has a La Senza, Suzy Shier, Roots, Marks Work Wearhouse and a northern reflections…and I generally only check it out the end of a season to see what deals are going on. Now the real mall has stores that I love to visit, like Bootlegger, Garage and a much better Suzy Shier. Now add in the G’s restrictions for no sleeveless, no short shorts/mini skirts and no low cut, and you have me…whom my loving hubby refers to as cheap and not in the sick’n’wrong way. I balance the budget and still manage to own 6 pairs of practical shoes, the other 4 pairs of impractical shoes have been around since before I had kids. Because honestly a girl can never own enough pairs of shoes, right?

  3. Alyssa says:

    Hahaha! You are totally a fashion icon!

  4. TeamHaynes says:

    I always laugh at department store prices. PLEASE! I got my Costco card and they have everything I need. BTW, my husband and I have been craving DDP ever since I started reading your blog. We got a buttload of it this weekend at Costco. It was sooo nice! I forgot how I much I love this stuff. Do you guys get yours there too?

  5. Camberley says:

    Oh My! I just threw up in my mouth…

    This post was absolutely amazing. I especially loved the following lines:

    1. “I heart them so much” (in reference to the boots).
    2.”all the cool girls wear boots, and the very coolest girls wear their skinny jeans tucked into their boots.” (so true!)
    3. “Hi, my name is Camille and I’m totally extravagant enough to pay to be cool.” (I could write a whole post about the horrific “Mormon” necklace trends. This is shaping up to be one of them)

    Also, see if you can find someone who specializes in Myotherapy or Rolfing (for the Carpal Tunnel). I really enjoy acupuncture too (Unfortunately, it may cost a pretty penny). If you’re still hurting come December, maybe we can meet up when you’re back in Mesa and I’ll go to work on your forearms.

    ~C

  6. RatalieNose says:

    Oh my goodness.
    Who are you and what have you done with Camille???

  7. chelsie says:

    I heart this post

  8. Rachel says:

    ahahahahahah! Loved it!

  9. Molly says:

    I really got about half way through when I realized it was a joke. I was really having a hard time figuring out how you were going to wear those short shorts and tank sleeves.

    I must just be too lethargic to be on the ball for joking matters, lol!

  10. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » “The Media Monkeys and Their Junket Junkies.”

  11. Maureen says:

    as usual, i was out of town and not able to comment but i think nine is a good number of comments. nine is a nice number. it’s a multiple of three, which is always good. ok goodnight.

  12. niki says:

    i think the reason for the low number of comments is that people didn’t know how to take this post.

    i mean…anthro can really confuse people…a lot of people hear that something is from anthro and they automatically think it’s cute bc of the name…and seeing how that jacket is really not cute…there creates the confusion.

    i’d love to see you in that entire ensemble ;)

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