Stuff to Make You Smile on an Otherwise Horrid Day

I always say, “Nothing should be hard on a Monday.”

Unfortunately, I rarely get what I want in life.

I am often faced with difficult encounters on Mondays.  Today, for example, I will be meeting with the wisdom teeth weasels consultants, who will tell me all about how they’re going to drug me up, knock me out, slit open my gums, and tear out my four wisdom teeth by their roots with pliers and sundry torture tools.  Of course such an atrocity would happen on a Monday, and the worst part is that it’s not actually happening today—they’re just going to tell me about it.  I guess that’s standard procedure, but honestly, wisdom teeth people?  I already know what this involves—you’re going to steal my teeth I’ve worked so hard to grow, take my Poor Kyle’s money, and leave me be to wallow in my lock jocket/dry locket/sock pocket.  I hate you.

For anyone else who is having one of those Mondays today, I have come up with a post to help take your mind off your worries.  It’s called a Random, and it’s not that random because every other blogger in the world has already done something exactly like this, but do your best to enjoy it anyway, because it’s all I’ve got for today.

1.  People find my blog in such funny ways. I always get a kick out of search terms that lead unsuspecting internetters to my website:

My favourite recent one: Can I make it through childbirth if I am queasy? Some poor soul is pregnant and worried sick about it, so she turns to the internet to help calm her down, and what does she find?  My website.  Yeah, that oughtta cheer her right up.  Poor sucker.  A word of advice, love:  You should have thought of that before you got knocked up.

2.  The other day at school, I was descending a staircase and heard footsteps close behind me. {Tangent:  Does that drive anybody else mad?  I mean, I might not be walking down the stairs as fast as you’d like, buddy, but it’s wide enough for two—pass me!  As it is, your right-on-my-tail footsteps are making me nervous.}  This guy was following closely enough that I could hear him making funny noises with his mouth, and it sounded to me like he was a) trying to be a cappuccino machine like those old commercials {anyone remember them?}, or b) pretending to fly an airplane.  At first I was weirded out, but then I thought, “Hey, why not?  A guy can’t live in Never-Neverland anymore, just because he goes to university?” Fly high, buddy.  Fly high.

3.  The last time I went for my daily jog, I came across an album on my iPod entitled “Tyler’s Mix.” I have no idea who Tyler is—to my knowledge, I have only known two Tylers in my life: one is a distant relative, and the other I knew way before CDs were ever invented, so he couldn’t have possibly made me a mix.  It’s too bad I don’t know Tyler, because his mix is pretty good, and I’d like to thank him.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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16 Responses to Stuff to Make You Smile on an Otherwise Horrid Day

  1. anna says:

    Mondays are totally lame. I have to find a way to get all my work done by tomorrow morning that I should’ve spent the last three days doing.

    I should’ve been an oral surgeon. Getting money for inflicting pain (and torture?) is much better than getting money for enduring pain and torture (self-induced, of course).

  2. Heber says:

    Actually, my Monday is already kind of bad so your post was perfect. Thanks.

  3. Maureen says:

    Good luck with your appointment. I have a dr. appointment today as well. It’s the eye doctor, so not quite as bad as the wisdom teeth doctor, but still not terribly exciting.

  4. bRAD says:

    The worst part about the pre torture consult is that they tell you (I know I shouldn’t say this, but I will any way) that you could die durring the proceedure. Crazy huh? That’s what they told me.

    As for the Tyler mix I would bet it was made by Tyler Dickerson. You probably got it from Gregron.

  5. jami says:

    mondays are crumby. I always put off cleaning my house during the weekend, and then I am left with A BUTT LOAD of cleaning to do on monday, and class, AND mondays are my lab (I hate labs).
    anyways, I thought this post was histerical! I loved the never never land part. It is so true. Sometimes I make fun of people that are doing stupied things, and then I think “they are so happy doing it…can’t blame them”

  6. Whitney says:

    My families theme song is ” I dont like Mondays” by the Boomtown rats. I bet its your theme song too. You should look it up. You will like it.

  7. Holly Decker says:

    the only way i can get up on a monday is force. and since i dont have a job or school to force me out of bed… i decided to volunteer at the library… MENDING BOOKS.
    poor excuse to get out of bed and face a monday, eh?

  8. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    Mondays aren’t so bad when you’re a SAHM. Most days run together, actually. It’s kind of depressing, if you want to know the honest truth. I actually kind of look forward to it now that I’m out of the work force. It’s a whole new week at CVS and Walgreens, AND 24 is on. Oh, and Heroes. (Wow. I really am a house wife. Next thing you know I’ll be watching the soaps, Biggest Loser, and American Idol. And Oprah. Heaven help me…)

  9. HeatherPride says:

    My personal opinion is that Tyler’s ghost is haunting your iPod.

  10. NobodyNose says:

    Try starting your Monday off with 1st Hour CP Chemistry. I HATE IT! And to top it off, I GOT YELLED AT TODAY! ugh!

  11. niki says:

    i can’t quite tell for sure, but if that tooth you are pointing to is actually your wisdom tooth, you will have no problem getting that thing out. girl, it’s fully erupted. that means no digging required. i don’t know what the other three look like however, so good luck, just in case.

  12. Allan says:

    I thought your mother-in-law said in some comment Kyle and his dependents get free dental, through the fam business. Or do you have to pop for the wisdom tooth action?
    sorry, i haven’t been to slatsbridge since ’88, and maplebelly long before that. i don’t know how things work down there.

  13. Allan says:

    sorry, i’m having a certain difficulty restoring my URL to your blog to the point my other christian name shows up in red. my favourite colour of course.

  14. Allan says:

    Then worked it did.
    Talking like Yoda enjoy i do.
    Sue me so.

  15. Indeed, as bRAD said, that mix was made by Tyler Dickerson. And it IS a dang good one!

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