The Bristol Palin Sex Talk

bristol_palinImage from here.

Bristol Palin, 18 year-old daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, recently told People Magazine that “if girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex…  Nobody.”

Umm…duh?  No kidding, Bristol.  That’s what sex ed is all about; maybe you missed that day of science class in fifth grade…and sixth…and seventh, eighth, ninth, and so on.  Please—you can’t possibly be pleading ignorance.  I know Alaska is far away, but it’s no further than Canada, and the Canadians got the memo that unprotected sex has nasty side effects—why didn’t you?

So now, five months after giving birth to her baby boy, Trapp, Bristol has become an Abstinence Ambassador slash Spokeswoman (spokesgirl is more like it) for the Candies Foundation, whose primary goal it is to amp up awareness of avoiding teen pregnancy.  Which is great and all, except for the fact that Bristol already had a baby.

Candies Foundation Bristol PalinImage from here.

If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex…  Nobody.”  How would you like to be the infamous baby whose mother publicly announced to audiences across the world that she wishes she had never had sex in the first place?

I have been an advocate of abstinence before (and sometimes after!) marriage all my life, and to those who say complete monogamous (i.e. one partner) abstinence is an “unrealistic ideal,” I say, “foolish.”  How hard is it?  Keep your dadgum pants on if you don’t want to get pregnant and don’t want sexually transmitted infections and don’t want a lifetime of potential complications.  Just keep your pants on.  See?  Easy.  Just keep your pants on.

Well, since Bristol Palin apparently thinks that any girl who realises the complications of sex would never have sex in the first place, I am hereby taking it upon myself to raise awareness of the great many complications of sex (primarily sex outside a monogamous relationship).

The Complications of Sleeping Around

1.  Pain. Did you know that sex is—or can be—incredibly painful?  True.  It’s a very real problem for a lot of women.

2.  Sex can lead to diseases {though the politically correct word is “infections,”}  in one’s nether-regions.  There are a myriad of different sexually transmitted diseases on the market (makes it sound like car shopping, eh?), ranging from mildly annoying, to grossly disgusting, and all the way to life-threatening.  And if it might hurt anyway (see #1), is it really worth the risk?  As a teenage girl, nothing could have compelled me to have sex.  (I won’t lie and say I had guys knocking my door down to lie with me—I didn’t even kiss a boy until I was nearly 18.  Even still, I was terrified of the painful side effects of sex.  I still am.  {Just kidding.  [Maybe.]})

3.  Sex can often lead to pregnancy. Pregnancy can often lead to babies.  Babies born to young, uneducated mothers with little or no support have a higher rate of living in poverty than babies born to mothers who are more mature and educated.  In other words, a teenage girl who might solve her problems by screaming and slamming doors (I know I did) can be in for a huge shock when that cuddly little baby screams right back, with ten times the volume and ten times the persistence.  Just ask Bristol, who missed her prom to stay home and change diapers.  Oy.

Those are just three of the most physical, tangible consequences of sex before maturity; it’s not even mentioning the various emotional and psychological wounds that could take years to heal.  I am an avid supporter of abstinence, but I realise not everybody thinks the same way I do (and wouldn’t the world be scary if everybody thought exactly like me?).  If you don’t subscribe to the notion of abstinence, please at least practise safe sex and keep yourself protected.  (But if you’re a teenage girl reading this, heed my advice and just wait.  It’s a much better idea.  Really.)

There.  Now you can’t say nobody told you.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in do what I say, in all seriousness, what I'm about and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to The Bristol Palin Sex Talk

  1. Katie says:

    Keep your pants on. I think I just wet mine! Too funny!

    And so true. Isn’t it sad that we have these kinds of “role models” for kids today? My neighbor down the street just had her first baby. She’s 15 (the neighbor, not the baby…). Sad, sad, sad.

    Thanks for the reality check, Camille! You should be on some soapbox in a high school gym somewhere!

  2. Jenn says:

    I saw this People Magazine cover this weekend, and all I could think was – look here teenage girls, if you have sex and get pregnant, you can get on the cover of People too!


  3. Chloe says:

    Well said!
    I still remember when a friend of mine got pregnant at the age of 13!!!
    I agree with you. It’s easy: keep your pants on!!

  4. Maureen says:

    Ha, I love this. It’s awesome. I think the media is a little over baby-obsessed. Teen pregnancy is like the “cool” thing to do. What a shame.

  5. Hannah says:

    Well put Camille! In a way I feel sorry for that little baby, for his mom to say to the world look what will happen if you have sex. Poor kid is going to feel like a mistake his whole life. I agree they should keep their pants on but they also should have a spokesgirl who is with out child.

  6. Big Derrick says:

    As an advocate for Fatherhood, I would add to #3 that children born to single mothers usually don’t have the birth father around, for many different reasons. I would also find some scientific study supporting the general observation, but I don’t feel like it right now.

    I would also round up some studies about how an active, present father is one of the top predictors of children’s future accomplishments; such as the children’s graduation rates; poverty rates; the children’s own sex lives, or lack thereof, and thus their own probability of having children of their own out of wedlock; and propensities for delinquency and crime among people who have a household father and those who do not.

    But again, fact checking is a lot of work! I can’t just spend all of my time checking facts! That is so labor intensive! Maybe if fact checking were easier…

  7. ann marie says:

    When my brother was in medical school I was convinced that all schools need to have a Doctor come and SHOW them what the diseases look like and that alone will make people never want to have sex. After his pictures and stories we hear about some of his patients.. It makes me grateful I have heard it all AFTER I was married or I may never have had sex. EVER!!

  8. DeAnna says:

    I agree with Big Derrick. Alot of tweens/teens fool around/have sex to deal with their own emotional issues, that can result from the lack of one or both parent’s being around all that much. Seeking affection in someone’s bed/backseat/park bench. It seems like such a vicious cycle…which really it can be. Remembering my attitude as a teen, I think that what Bristol Palin is doing might actually do some good. If it were someone who looked over the age of about 30 no tween/teen would actually, honestly listen & care what was being said. She is so right about if girls actually knew, and I mean really knew & cared about the consequences of their choices. It is one thing sitting in a theme 5/sex ed class, really not paying attention or simply giggling at everything the teacher says, and a complete other thing to actually take this stuff seriously. Which is back to why I think that Bristol standing up for the cause of Abstinence is a good thing. I don’t however agree with her decision to be on the front of People magazine looking like it was so easy to have a kid and graduate high school. Parenting is hard, and would be even harder when you are still a child yourself! I agree, that Abstinence by choosing to keep your pants ON is a great way to avoid the consequences that come from having sex! Now if only teens would listen!!

  9. Well, I am a teenage girl.
    Yes I will heed your advice.
    Well I have been anyways for the last 16 years…..
    Sex is gross.
    My cousin said that she and her husband will be playing monopoly on her honeymoon.

    Btw….this was HILARIOUS!!!
    “Keep your dadgum pants on!!!”
    LOVE IT!!!!!

  10. Geneva says:

    I think you should start your own abstinence advocacy and name it “Keep Your Pants On” instead of Candies. My favorite excuse is the “It was an accident!” line. Yes you were walking down the street naked and accidentally ran into a guy walking down the street naked and Boom! pregnant. Big Derrek totally has it right too. Dads can make or break life chances. Great post Camille!

  11. Kelly says:

    Could you please come and give that speech at the school I work at? I think some of the parents, younger than myself and I am merely 27, missed that science lesson as well. They have reproduced multiple time, some even have 7 children by different “baby daddys” and have yet to understand the concept of keeping their legs closed. Then, of course, these parents are unable to care for their children.

  12. mameelynn says:

    Keep your pants on… I love it!! Maybe Bristol is a skirt wearer?!
    I think that the whole thing is so sad! That little baby will always grow up feeling like his mother doesn’t want him. I would like to know the thought process that says…. Yes lets get someone that didn’t listen to be our spokes person….
    I don’t know how she was missing so much school as to not get the memo but I have to wonder where her parents were…. Oh yeah, in politics…. This maybe just my opinion and I’m sure I will have some people that disagree with me but I think that the downfall of the youth is the fact that the mothers aren’t in the home… I’m not saying that only working mom’s have kids that get into trouble but I think that the rates are higher… Did you know that most common time that teens have sex is between the hours of 4 and 5… after school and before the parents get home from work. I worry that to many mothers think that their job is more important then raising their kids and that is sad to me. I grew up in a home that my mom was a stay at home mom and so did my husband… This is a big reason why I stay home also. I don’t want to risk having someone with lose morals teaching my boys! I also know growing up that sex should be something that is talked about and taught in everyday life… Just like teaching a child to wash their hands after they go pee and too keep their elbows off the table… We teach them things to make them better adults and being educated on sex is a big part of that! Because I was raised with it being taught it was never embarrassing to talk about it and I always was able to go to my mom and dad to ask questions and I hope that my children will feel the same way!

  13. Shesten says:

    “Maybe Bristol is a skirt wearer.” LOL

    Sex is gross, unless it’s with your spouse. But playing monopoly on your honeymoon is a little extreme. If you don’t want kids, just use some form of birth control.

    I think Bristol makes the perfect spokeswoman (she is 18 afterall and officially a legal adult and therefore a woman) for abstinence. She’s living with the consequences of it, and Trapp is a consequence, whether he’s going to like it when he’s old enough to understand it or not. I think it puts a real face on a situation that a lot of teens don’t understand.

    And Alaska as I understand it is such a red state that they DO NOT HAVE sex education. A lot of school districts still don’t have it. It’s still a huge debate in more conservative areas of the country.

    I agree though that Keep Your Pants On is a brilliant campaign.

  14. bRAD says:

    I only want to make one response to this post and it has to do with this phrase:

    “Just keep your pants on. See? Easy. Just keep your pants on.”

    I’m going to play the devil’s advocate for a moment. Let me be clear, I am not contesting anything you’ve posted here about abstinence, just with this statement.

    Yes, it is easy to keep your pants on, as long as that is taken in the right context. Let me illustrate with similar examples.

    To the person addicted to alcohol: Just don’t drink liquor. See? Easy.

    To the person with a compulsive eating disorder: Just stay away from the fridge and don’t eat too much. See? Easy.

    To the person who wants to loose weight: Just exercise everyday for an hour. See? Easy.

    To the person who wants to be a talented and/or professional *anything*: Just practice practice practice practice practice practice practice . See? Easy.

    We all know those thing aren’t easy. Especially the alcoholic, person with the eating disorder, etc.

    So I agree with you that it is easy in this context, just not in any real, meaningful context, like in that thing they call real life.

    I hope I’ve made my point.

  15. anonymous says:

    Very well said! Haha. I don’t think abstinence is very hard to achieve- I guess it’s not fair for me to answer for other people but it’s never been a struggle for me. Just keep yourself around the right people doing the right things in the right places and it will never be a challenge.

  16. Nicely said. Amen.

  17. mameelynn says:

    I would have to say to bRAD that all of those things could be just that easy if they just didn’t start…. if you look at it that way then it is just that easy!

  18. Jessica says:

    haha Camille this is great!! I love it!

  19. Rachel says:

    I’m high fiving you from Florida.

  20. Rachel says:

    Very well said. I would get behind the “Keep Your Pants On” campaign. I hate teen pregnancies (or even STDs) are “accidents.” They are consequences, people.

  21. Holly Decker says:

    you freakin crack me up!

  22. Lauren says:

    I am a little late in the game, but I will add in my two cents…

    Excellent post! I got a good chuckle :)

    I think that Bristol is awesome for joining the campaign. I am proud of her for raising awareness. Let’s face it, some kids really just don’t know. As stupid as it may seem…

    And I hope RatalieNose’s cousin was kidding because I think I just died inside.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Hmm… bRAD raises some interesting points. He’s helping me try to see this from a different perspective. I’m still struggling, though; I, too, feel like it’s a simple matter of keeping one’s pants on one’s rear.

  24. “Pregnancy can often lead to babies.”

    Haha! I think that’s where people get confused…

  25. Kimberly says:

    Wow, quite the controversial issue you’ve raised Camille :-) This is one topic that is difficult to approach, though it should seem simple. My best friend was 17 when she got pregnant with her daughter Addie, and I was 15 at the time. It was a hard lesson learned and I wouldn’t put the blame on her parents whatsoever, it was my friend’s choice and for that she had to take responsibility. Her mom was a stay at home mom and my friend was raised to know right from wrong with all the sex education she needed. Because of her choices, I was able to get an up close & personal example of what it means to grow up too fast. At the same time, I cannot imagine her life without Addie and she has nothing but been an incredible blessing and joy. Addie has now just turned 15 herself. I firmly believe that even when we make mistakes, God can redeem the situation and bring a testimony through it. I hope that is the platform that Bristol approaches this from. She has a long journey ahead of herself, and is blessed to have family around her as she walks these next years out. The child is not doomed because of how he came into existence, after all, many of us shouldn’t be where we are today if it was because of our parents choices. We alone are responsible for our choices and our actions.

    My two cents.

  26. bRAD says:

    Camille to me:
    At first I thought, “Yeah, he’s got a point,” but after giving it some thought, I have decided your argument is fallible. You are comparing addictions to food and alcohol to casual sex. It would work if I had accused Bristol Palin of being a sex addict, but I did not. I am talking about plain and simple preventable sex.

    In real life, the average teenage girl is not addicted to sex. I believe addictions are rooted in very real psychological problems, and I don’t mean to discredit those problems at all. But I don’t think Bristol Palin, or the average teenage girl who “doesn’t know the consequences of sex” is addicted to sex—I think she, and they, are experimenting recklessly. It’s fully avoidable.

    Keeping one’s pants on IS easy—there is a point when a person is about to have sex, when those pants are about to come off, that they can think, “Wait—do I really want to undo this button when there’s not a condom at hand?”

    Maybe not for a sex addict, but for an average teenager who knows right from wrong…easy.

    My response:
    I had put someting im my comment about relevant differance(s) between males and females, but i deleted it. I should have left it. Obviously most of your readers and commenters are female and so they are coming to your blog with a female point of view. Your post was aimed at young girls and in that context I agree. It is easy for them to keep their pants on because I think that most young girls who have sex are doing it because of pressure from some male/their boyfriend and not from any desire to have sex.

    I guess I made my comment for two main reasons. One, that slogan is not universal and can only work for females, never for males. Secondly, I didn’t like the form of the statement. I tried to discredit the form with my examples. I took it this way, “it is easy to do anything in one simple step, do this difficult thing.” [Obviosly this is a male response, it may be easy for girls, but not for guys (for social and physilogical resons.)] It is not just the case with just addiction to food or alcohol. That’s why I used an example with weight loss and one with the desire to be a professional something. They have nothing to do with addiction and are positive, yet still hard.

  27. Dutch girl says:

    Why are people saying sex is gross? Sex is great! It’s fun, it’s the base of life, an important part of a relationship. Just practise safe sex, so you don’t get diseases or babies. And I like to have sex only with people I love, but others enjoy it the same without love. I don’t think that’s wrong. As long as everything happens with the consent of both parties, and a condom is used, I don’t see what’s wrong with having sex.

  28. shalynna says:

    You didn’t have your first kiss until you were 18? That is so cute and I wish I was that way. I was a little tramp. :) Just kidding, but I think it’s so cute when people don’t get their first kiss until later. My sister went all the way to college without being kissed by a boy!

    You made some great points about s-e-x and I didn’t even blush as I read them! :) You do a great job of expressing your opinion. I think I need to take pointers from you.

  29. Rick Machado says:

    The original blog post from Camille is an incredibly incorrect presumption, and what’s worse is many of the people who wrote in seemed to agree with her.

    The teen birth rate (TBR) has nothing to do with sex. It has nothing to do with teen responsibilities, morals, carelessness, or values. It has nothing to do with the teen at all.

    Tne TBR is an adult driven, adult created problem, and it always has been, and always will. The dynamics behind it have nothing to do with “keep your pants on”, similar to Reagan’s ignorant “Just Say No’ mantra.

    The dynamics behind the TBR are poverty, sex abuse, early sexualization, the adult birth rate (which teens follow lockstep), educational failure, lack of reproductive health care, violent and chaotic households, male abandonment, and the fact that often times, a teen having a baby is a good short term choice.

    As far as Camille trying to scare teens into not having sex, a practice as old as time which has proven not to work, the rate of HIV transmission between couples where one partner has HIV and the other doesn’t and condoms are used correctly is less than 1%. Pregnancy rates are 2-4%. Chlamydia, the number one STD in the US has a infectious rate of .004, less than 1/2 of 1%.

    Now look at the leading causes of death for 15-24 year old kids- Motor vehicle accidents, 34%, firearms, 21%, cardiovascular disease, 4%. Why aren’t you scaring kids into abstaining from driving, guns and McDonalds? They hold far more concern for our teen’s safety.

    Look, you can all believe it is the teen girls fault, but in reality, it’s not. Adults “push” teens into social corners, and choosing pregnancy is one of their responses. On the surface it looks one way- but underneath it is completely different.

    And Bristol? Juneau Alaska has a sex abuse rate of about 300-1, 4 times higher than the entire state of California, and one of the highest rates in the good, ol USA.

    I know these things because my name is Rick Machado, and I am a public speaker on teen pregnancy and the teen birth rate.

    Thanks for your time.

  30. Cristin says:

    Everyone seems to be missing out on the best part of this post – the fact that you called her baby TRAPP!!! HA HA HA. Those Palin kids all have goofy names.

  31. anonymous says:

    still way behind u camille :) no matter what’s said, sex leads to consequences and one is only “ignorant” to ignore those consequences. like reagan, i would proudly state “just say no” without feeling ignorant or immature. it’s the smarter, safer choice.

  32. jennifer hulet says:

    I would have to say that Bristol Palin is a great spokeswoman for abstinence! After all she knows first hand the consequences of sex before marriage, at least she’s not painting a rosy picture like many other public figures do. And I am sure she loves her son, she probably just wishes she would have grown up first! I think it will have a positive impact on teens.

  33. Rachel says:

    Wow…you have sure opened a can of worms here!

    In response to Big Derrick, there was an ‘ideal childhood’ study released in the UK earlier this year which I think covers some of the issues you are mentioning here. You can find it at

  34. Liz Wood says:

    Really, all I can say is I COMPLETELY agree with you!!

  35. Hartis Dorly says:

    WOW, did this post sprout wings and fly. Great comment section.

    I know how and why the TP happens, but at the end of the day, if You’ve influenced someone to keep their pants on, good on You.

    I think the commentors thinked it out for themselves, You spoke appropiately to your readership.

    (I never liked stats, in school, so numbery, roboty).

  36. Pingback: Dear Abby, Meet Your Match. | Archives of Our Lives

  37. Shirley says:

    Did that Rick guy accuse you of pushing teens into corners to get pregnant? By what? Saying, “don’t get pregnant?” Giving them an education? And then their only choice is to get pregnant?
    No. For most teenage girls that end up pregnant, sex was their own stupid choice.

  38. Shirley says:

    Also, to that Brad guy, guys have the same opportunity as girls do to think things through and decide their actions before they act. Trying to excuse them for being caught up in their sex drive is like excusing someone for murder because they were caught up in their anger. We have emotions and “drives” for a very good reason, but we have no place in a functioning society if we cannot harness them.

Comments are closed.