{The Dreaded Inevitable}

Now, let’s talk about exercise. Growing up I was active enough. I climbed trees, participated in summer league softball (faithfully for 10 years), and jumped on the trampoline. I also fought viciously with my older sister, ran wild through the neighborhood, and took my high-spirited dog Sampson for walks while wearing rollerblades. Then in high school I played on the basketball, volleyball, track, and even marching band teams (during various years). I got my fair share of exercise.

So I don’t know where I went wrong. Somewhere along the timeline of my life, I developed a loathing for strenuous activity that I can’t seem to shake. Because it hurts to run. It’s not nice; it’s not natural–not to me. I’ve never understood the kind of people who say their “days don’t go well if they don’t get out there and run and blah blah blah.” You know the type–exercise people. Me? Not so much. Any day of mine wherein I do not feel compelled to put myself through utter pain and misery…well, that’s a pretty good day.

Nevertheless, I’ve put on weight (and lots of it) in the five months since I’ve been married, and I am just vain enough to dread going home to Arizona in May looking like this:


Moreover, I don’t fancy the idea of buying new jeans just because my expanding thighs can no longer fit into the ones I’ve got.

So, after putting off the dreaded inevitable for…oh, three months or so…I finally ran out of excuses. I ran. Not far, mind you. But far enough to remind me why I hate it so. To make matters worse, there is a {seemingly} continuous wind blowing here in Mayberry, and every time I attempt to exercise in it, I contract a new case of The Whooping Cough. That’s right–The Whooping Cough. I’ve been hacking and wheezing all day since my “workout,” and all I did was exercise for 20 minutes (only five of which minutes were rigorous). But what can I do? I can’t stop the wind from a-blowin’, so I just have to toil on. Indeed, my plight is mournful.

It has given me some insight, though–I do understand why people in serious emotional turmoil might turn to running as an escape: when I’m running, I’m so intensely miserable each step I take, there is absolutely no room for any other kind of misery. Got depression? Go running–I promise you’ll forget everything you once thought was bad in your life. Got a toothache? Go run somewhere–it’ll be like your tooth never ached at all. Dog die? Throw on some tennis shoes and run your living daylights out–by the time you get back, you will be so consumed in your own unfortunate existence, you’ll forget you ever even had a dog, let alone remember that it’s dead.

That’s how I feel about running.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in change, failures, mediocrity, what I'm about. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to {The Dreaded Inevitable}

  1. linda rae says:

    How cool! A camera is talking to you. Camera digital even. And the post IS likable. And funny besides.

    Camille…you must learn the intricacies of RUNNING in the southern Alberta gale-force winds…keep the wind at your BACK at all times. That way you can be blown easily to the next small town of Stirling. But, alas, you must crawl back home INTO the wind. THEREIN lies the EXERCISE.

    Another hug.

    the half-running, half-crawling mother-in-law

  2. Anonymous says:

    mmm, funny, funny post camille. funny half running/crawling mother in law.i hope you can get some kind of refreshing energy drink in stirling, for the crawl back. do the passing tractors kick up much stones on the one lane dirt road atween? cause that sounds like an unpleasant crawling exercise experience.

  3. Loralee Choate says:

    Hmmm…You could always join a rousing jazzercise class.

    Although, jazzercise has been known to attract rabblerousers.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    Sometimes I wonder how in the world we even came from the same two people. Exercise is exhilarating, once you get used to it. I’ll bet what happened is you started out a little too fast. My suggestion: (Which you probably won’t take because I’m a nag and you get sick of me hounding you. Be that as it may, here it is…) Start out CONSIDERABLY slower than you think humanly possibly to call running. If you go really slow then it doesn’t hurt so much, and you can ease into it.

    At any rate, I’m very glad you are working on being healthier. I think I’ve finally got Clint to jump on the bandwagon. It’s so much better, Mill.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I’ve got the perfect new sitcom. It’s about this quirky girl who writes a blog. She looks at the world differently than anyone else, with a wonderful wit. She has a loveable Canadian husband, interesting family and friends, and a small gathering of loyal and adoring fans who read her blog daily. You’ve got the plots for over 100 hilarious episodes already. It would be a cross between Seinfeld and You’ve Got Mail. I just know it would be a HUGE hit. Camille, write a screenplay and send it in to the American Writers Guild. I am totally serious!!!!!!!!!

  6. THE FOX NETWORK says:

    WE LOVE IT! CAMILLE, CALL US!!

    “MAYBERRY RELOADED” was our first thought, but it’s all up to you kid, this is YOUR BABY!!

    THE FOX NETWORK

  7. Dr. Green says:

    you did say your favourite colour is green.
    intimating nothing, just lovin’ the green.

  8. Jami says:

    camille…running is great. Not at first, but once you are in shape you will never be the same. I HAVE to go running everyday, or I become MEAN!!! On sundays spencer always reminds me that I need to go running on monday. Not because spencer is a jurk and wants me to become skinny, but because he always gets sick of me being mean on the day that I don’t run. Maybe try fast walking? Or swimming…or weight lifting! There are plenty of forms of working out…just choose a different one than running!

  9. Anonymous says:

    haha- BRILLIANT sitcom idea. I miss the color as well, hopefully it’s figured out soon. Oh, and I get you on the running thing. I’ve never been into physical exertion much. For some reason, it’s just not… fun.

  10. The Lowry's says:

    maybe you should try exercising indoors. I do and I enjoy it. Might not be for everyone though.
    oh and I actually looked at my floss today and said, hm I should do that. its a step that i actually noticed it there. tomorrow i will floss i promise. are you supposed to do it 2 times a day?
    Oh and again, I just love reading your blog. It always makes me smile! You have a knack at eloquently telling it how it is.

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  13. Jen C says:

    i’m in the same situation as you. athletic all my life, until i graduated from college and entered the so called “real world”. then i just stopped. add to that marrying an italian who loves to cook and i can say ciao to my college jeans. recently i have started doing the ea active game for my wii….and i love it! one: no one is there to watch me struggle at doing jump lunges like they are at the gym and i have to give them dirty looks, and two: i can scream my frustrations at my virtual trainer and no feelings are hurt. only my husband laughs at this point and i can take him on now because i suddenly have biceps.

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