Cleanliness Before Geekliness

When I was a little girl, I was convinced I would grow up to marry the prince of England.

prince-williamImage from here.

As a fall-back, I decided I could be happy with someone without royal blood, so long as he was tall, strong, strikingly handsome, and very clever.

When I became a teenager and started to date, I realised the error of my ways.  Suddenly, any boy without pimples sounded like a dream come true.  Forget about tall—was he over 5′ 5″?  Never mind about strong—could he beat my granny in an arm wrestle?

In the end, I felt blessed to find Poor Kyle—a guy who didn’t make me feel like I was settling.

What I never counted on, though, is that underneath my husband’s pickup-driving, tough-guy exterior…he is a total dweeb. A nerd.  The Geek is capitalised to signify the extreme seriousness of his condition.  As in, The Geek of the Nation.  The Geek of the World.  The Geek of the Universe.  And, for geek’s sake, The Geek of the Galactica.

From what I gather, Poor Kyle wasn’t always The Geek.  He started out like any other rowdy boy-child of the ’80s, but around middle school, he met his lifelong friend, Jeff.  He became intrigued by Jeff’s ability to pass King’s Quest 4 (or maybe 5…the debate continues to this day), and before he knew it, they were staying in from recess to play computer games.

Jeff and PKAnd here they are in 2009.  Some things never change.

Anyway, I can’t complain, because Poor Kyle’s geekliness has come in handy on many occasions in my life.  Numberless are the times I have called him, at my wit’s end with technological sorrows, and listened as his calm, knowing voice has talked me through my issues.  He’s my tech guy, and if there’s a problem he doesn’t know how to fix, he’ll Google™ it until he can.

He’s funny, though.  He knows he’s my tech guy, and he is loathe to give up that status.  Sometimes he acts annoyed with my e-dilemmas, but I believe he’s always secretly glad that I don’t know how to fix them.  It’s the same way with his fancy camera; he doesn’t really like me to use it, for fear that I’ll become a better photographer than he is.  And heaven forbid I teach myself to use Photoshop™!  (Don’t worry, PK—I still don’t know what an aperture or f-stop is.  You’re still the best.  Here, give me your ego and let me stroke it.)  [Luckily his control issues end there.  We never would have gotten to first base if he’d been the kind of guy who didn’t want me to learn how to drive or get a university degree or something equally insane.  Girl power and all that jazz.]

They say if you give a girl a fish, she’ll eat for a day; if you teach her to fish, she’ll eat for a lifetime (or until all the fish are dead).  But they never tell you about that third option—that sublime road less-travelled—which is this: Have a girl hook up with her very own tech guy, and he can digitally animate all the fish in the mother-loving ocean for her.

Marrying PK The Geek, in all his geekly glory, is very likely the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

That, and learning to love Brazilians.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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17 Responses to Cleanliness Before Geekliness

  1. ann marie says:

    First! Woot!
    I am married to a tech-nerd too, and I love all of it! :) I seriously wouldn’t blog if it wasn’t for him! (for reals)

    That picture you took.. he kinda looks like dwight from the Office.. :)

  2. Geneva says:

    Amen! I always said that nerds love you better because they are amazed to be with you. And can I just say that John learned how to read by playing King’s Quest?

    Now Brazilians, are you talking wax or people?

  3. Thais says:

    I’m confused on the Brazilian too?

  4. Jeff says:

    2 points:

    1) I also learned how to read from the first 4 King’s Quest games (you had to type what you wanted the character to do). There’s nothing wrong with that is there?

    2) We did not stay in playing games at recess! I don’t think it was ever that bad…close sometimes…but definitely exaggerated!

    I do have the Quest games collection in the hopes that maybe one of my kids will try them. But how can a game that is border-line educational compete with those ‘shooters’ today?

  5. Cristin says:

    I think you mean Brazilian WAXES because you are funny like that. :)

  6. I’m with you, marry the geek!
    And anyway, my 18 year old daughter is marrying Prince William, so you can just forget about him.

  7. kat says:

    I also married a Geek. I thought I’d marry Jonathan Taylor Thomas or Elijah Wood (before he was a Lord of the Ringer) or Eddie Furlong. Instead I married a man who’s talents compliment my dreams and who’s dreams compliment my talents (at least I’d hope he’s say this).

  8. DeAnna says:

    I thought I was the only one, other than my close girlfriends, that dreamed of marrying Prince William, JTT or Elijah Wood!! I am glad that I found the man I married, even though he isn’t quite as techy as myself. He surpasses my techyness with his back to basics geek & plays D&D twice a week.

  9. Andrea says:

    I married a tech guy. His smarts helped me get my job (nurses and technology dont mix). I also shared your dream about Prince William.

  10. Bert says:

    I also married a tech guy. He also is a nerd, and a mechanic.. Got myself the #1 handyman. They make the best husbands. WOOT WOOT

  11. Camberley says:

    My mom made me see a counsler a couple of years ago because I have a problem with being a “people pleaser”. Anyways, during one of my sessions I asked for dating advice. Do you know what my $90/hr session got me that week? “Marry a Nerd.” My counsler told me the nerds/dorks/geeks/dweebs appreciate women more then the shining star/jock/”always had everything” type. So, I took his advice and found myself a dork and I think he’s pretty awesome.

  12. Chloe says:

    I’m not married yet, but Jimmy is definitely a tech guy. And he’s a Geek too. A nerd. But I love him!

  13. Rachel says:

    I’m happily married to a Geek as well, and he would like to know if your Geek plays World of Warcraft.

  14. RatalieNose says:

    I don’t think you like brazilian waxes.
    You’re no masochist.

  15. Jethro says:

    What’s a Brazilian wax? Is it scented? Candle-ish?
    I admit, i can’t write in HTML, but does blogging and tweeting make me a geek?
    (Please include the Yoda obsession in Your analysis).

  16. anna says:

    I’m still trying to figure out why loving computers/programming is considered geeky. Who made that stereotype anyway? Probably dumb people who were jealous. Ha ha.

  17. malia says:

    Wow, I need a job so I can stop bothering your comments.

    I think marrying a geek is a unknown secret of sorts. It has so many benefits, I can attest also.

    All this talk of brazilian waxing makes me shiver with fright.

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