The Gimme Kid is Ruining My Life

So how was all ya’ll’s Halloween?  Did you get a visit from The Gimme Kid?

What?  You’ve never heard of The Gimme Kid?  Oh, I’m sure you have—you just didn’t know that was his name.

Gimme KidThis is just one of many possible depictions of The Gimme Kid.

The Gimme Kid comes in all shapes and sizes, which makes it difficult to recognise him at first glance.  It could be anyone’s kid—it could be your kid (*shudder*).  It’s hard to pinpoint who he is simply by looking, but unfortunately, there’s no mistaking him once he opens his grubby grubby little mouth.  He says obnoxious things like, “GIMME!” and “NOM NOM NOM CANDY!”

I hate The Gimme Kid.  I hate ingrates, and The Gimme Kid’s most striking feature is his ungratefulness.  He pounds on the front door instead of ringing the bell politely, and instead of saying “Trick or Treat” like he’s supposed to, he just stands there waiting for his handout.  I hate when kids don’t even say “Trick or Treat.”  I mean, the candy’s already free—can’t you say three little words to make the mooching official?  How hard is that?

The Gimme Kid’s newest favourite Halloween tradition is the Trunk or Treat.

Oh, the Trunk or Treat—how I loathe your existence.  When I was a kid, Halloween was something noble—I spent hours and hours cavorting through the streets of my neighborhood, RUNNING [not walking] from house to house, trying to hit as many jackpots as possible.  It was hard WORK.  My sister and I thought we were brilliant and lucky the year my mom agreed to actually drive us across town so we could finally see what it was like in the neighborhoods full of big houses {it was amazing}.  By the end of the night on Halloween, we were too exhausted to do anything but lay limp on the living room floor and separate our candy into piles and sub-piles.  We even had to pay the Parent Tax on all our earnings, because without them, we wouldn’t have had costumes in the first place.  It was work, I tell you.

Halloween used to be a noble cause, but these days, kids go down to the local church parking lot and saunter gaily from trunk to trunk, open their pillowcases and wait for their windfall.  They fill up half their bag without even breaking a sweat.  Trunk or Treats are destroying the work ethic of the future (right, like Halloween was teaching such good lessons in the first place, but you catch my drift).

Although I’ve never lowered myself to attending such a hoax as a local Trunk or Treat, I can only imagine The Gimme Kid’s little under-exercised heart palpitating at such an easy acquisition of free candy.  Little bastard probably doubles up and makes the rounds twice.

Man, I really hate that kid.

Anyway, this year Poor Kyle and I gave out full sized candy bars from Costco because we wanted to be the awesomest house, which, in my day, we totally would’ve been.  But in this day and age, only one or two kids exclaimed our awesomeness—most of them stared blankly ahead, seeing nothing, wishing they could be back at home in front of the Cartoon freaking Network.

Not only did we not get proclaimed “Awesome!” as much as we were hoping, but half of the kids barely even mumbled out a “Thank You” for the full-sized candy bars.  Perhaps they were disappointed we weren’t a KING-sized candy bar house.  Perhaps they just don’t know how to verbally communicate now that they all have cell phones with texting capabilities.  Perhaps we should’ve set up a keypad next to our doorbell so they could’ve texted us “trk r trt” and “THX” and been on their way.  Maybe we’ll change a lot of things next year…maybe we’ll just go out of town.

Halloween used to be my favourite holiday, better than Christmas, even.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m away from home, or because of the vast increase in population of The Gimme Kids in general, or perhaps just the fact that I’m not the one getting the free handouts anymore…but I’m totally switching my loyalties over to Veteran’s Day.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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21 Responses to The Gimme Kid is Ruining My Life

  1. Bethany says:

    haha yeah Halloween is really different these days, you don’t see as many kids actually trick or treating, it’s weird. And my birthday is totally Veteran’s day, it should be your new favorite! I approve!

  2. Lindsay says:

    i have a lot to say about halloween this year too. some little turd came to our door and started KICKING it with his foot and yelling “come on people, open up! where’s the candy!?”
    i almost smacked him…and i was even more shocked by all the PARENTS who would hold out a bag for themselves! some family came by with 2 little kids and an infant…all 5 of them held out a pillowcase…i was pissed and called it a night after that. It’s Halloween, not feed the neighborhood.

  3. Maureen says:

    I have never heard of this trunk or treat business. It doesn’t sound like much fun. And full sized candy bars are totally awesome. Those little brats should be more grateful.

  4. GRANMAMA says:

    I still love Halloween. I was sick so I couldn’t go to the ward party. I stayed home and passed out candy to the neighbors. It’s true, we live in the ghetto and there were many teen agers and some parents. I loved seeing the children’s costumes and delight at their candy bags filling. We had many that not only thanked us but “GOD-BLESSED” us as well. I found it to be a positive and fun night, I gave two snack sized Hershey treats to each trick or treater. I heard one little girl tell her mother that I was a “nice lady.” That thrilled me. We went through 8 bags of candy with not one left. Of course, my favorite trick or treater was an almost 2 year old little dragon who likes to ram the walker in to my already crippled body. Give Halloween another chance—IN THE GHETTO.

  5. Dutch girl says:

    HAHAHA! I laughed so much I have tears in my eyes… “trk r trt” and “THX” – brilliant!! :-D
    Three years ago I celebrated Halloween for the first time.. I was living in the US at the time and was amazed by how seriously everybody took the whole dressing up ritual – real costumes and stuff, wow.
    Trunk or Treat – never heard of it. Sounds terrible. And I don’t like kids in general, so the Gimme Kid wouldn’t stand a chance with me. Ha!

  6. kristy says:

    I used to love halloween too, the days of trading candy with siblings. I got back into it now that I have kids of my own. I do make sure my kids say thank you and trick or treat because I do to find that rude if they don’t at least say those words. Sometimes Zoe would say Happy Halloween instead of trick or treat which I thought was cute. The full size chocolate bars are great! :) Lee and I get so excited with the full size chocolate bars as we know the kids won’t eat THAT much chocolate at one sitting, and we can make it disappear in the mommy and daddy bag. lol. Lee and I did notice this year in our neighbourhood there were TONNE of high school kids going trick or treating. i remember i had to stop in grade 6 as I was so tall and people would get mad at me for going when I looked alot older.

  7. Jenn says:

    Oh my goodness, we had to leave early for a dinner party, and I put out a bowl of candy, and there was actually some left when we got back – we must have honest kids in our neighborhood. I expected that the first kid to find it would dump the whole thing in his pillow case!

  8. Shirley says:

    I love the trunk or treat! and I really like the way our ward did it. We had it on Wednesday night with a chili and cornbread dinner beforehand. Then there were some activities for the younger kids (like a cakewalk. you better believe mine were the best cupcakes) and then the trunk-or-treating. A couple of the YM/YW leaders took all the teenagers and had events for them on the other side of the parking lot. It really was a great activity that all of the ward could come together in and bring friends to. And parents knew where their kids were and who they were with.

    I went trick-or-treating with some of my nieces and nephews on Halloween. My two-year-old nephew didn’t say “trick or treat” every time because he sometimes would roar at the people instead (and loudly) because he was a dragon. So cute!

    We didn’t hand out candy because we were with family, but I decided that in future if any skanky girls come trick or treating to our door I will refuse to give them anything so as not to be assumed to be supporting the prostitution rings. Seriously, if your old enough to try to dress like that you’re too old to be trick or treating.

  9. Shirley says:

    and i’m an idiot for typing “your” when I meant “you’re.”

  10. Camberley says:

    I too despise ward “trunk or treats”. And they wonder why there is such a huge problem with childhood obesity – parents are enablers. (Disclaimer: not all parents)

    ~C

  11. Whitney says:

    My favorite was the 20 junior high kids not even dressed up going door to door with bags asking for candy. Or the Parents *cough* hispanic * cough* walking around door to door trick or treating. Seriously? Seriously? I always say something like, Arent you a little old? They just sheepishly grin because they know they are pushing it with me. Next year Im going to be mean and not give them any.

  12. Kimberly says:

    The Gimme Kids drive me INSANE! I used to get all excited to give out candy at my parents house and then I was so infuriated by the nights end that not just ungrateful kids showed up expecting candy, but teenagers and adults too! Without so much as a thank you or anything! I was like – seriously? Get a job kid and buy your own candy! Unreal.

  13. Molly says:

    LMAO.. the fat gimme kid. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Yeah, out here in AZ, you arent sure if the kids even speak any English. This year, I just went over to someone elses house, and then when I was home, i kept the porch light off, and didnt get any trick or treaters…. problem solved…

    But you gotta check out my blog and see Scarlett’s Adorable Betty Boop costume. :) pretty impressive…

  14. Molly says:

    PS, if you go to my actual blog and look around, you might see a surprise, I made JUST FOR YOU! :D

  15. Kelly says:

    We were so pissed Saturday night when there were BIG kids (okay, Big GIMME kids) going door to door. No costumes, no trick or treats and no thank yous. I actually closed the door early because of this.

  16. Chloe says:

    Those kids are so ungrateful… It seems that we also have these “Gimme Kids” here, in Spain… is it so difficult to say “thank you”?

  17. Jeff says:

    I also have a beef with the gimme gimme child. But I feel baited into commenting. I agree with the trunk or treating thing because if it’s done right, it’s a great event. We attend the one out at my parent’s ward. It’s a very small farming community and it would take a small child several days to canvas the area on foot…and I don’t believe it would make the candy that much sweeter. But before they do the trunk or treating, they served hotdogs, had a chile contest, candy counts, carnival style games for the children, etc. The parents get to make the rounds socializing. After a while they start the trunk or treating, and it’s nice to have a controlled environment and be protected from the elements. Those of us with young children appreciate these types of functions. However I believe when they are older they should be doing the traditional trick or treating.

    That’s my opinion.

  18. Rachel says:

    Ahhh, that was good. My children know that they had better say trick or treat and thank you (even at 4 and 2) or I’m taking their candy. But we ran into a lot of Gimmee kids, and even t or teed with two of them. Politeness is rewarded, just let me say. At least by the houses who don’t care about giving the same amount of candy to everybody. Yes. The girls were definitely rewarded.

  19. full size candy bars? i’m coming trick or treating at your house next year.

  20. RatalieNose says:

    Okay, the people in my hood that hand out full size candy bars (and have done so for years) have always been and will always be the Heroes of Halloween!!!! It is a noble cause you are supporting!!

  21. Carmen says:

    thanks again for the chocolate bars. I enjoyed mine immensely. Glad we came to your house cause it was definitely the best one in Raymond. No one else I knew gave out full sized chocolate bars.

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