The Sweet Life of a Single Wife

I got married and became more single than ever before.  I don’t have kids, so I’m not a single mom…I suppose some would call me a single wife.
Poor Kyle had better know I love him.
He’s on the road again [without me this time] and he took my laptop.  Which he probably won’t even have occasion to use, and how annoying is that?  Very annoying.  On top of which, if I’m going to update my blog at all, it means I have to type on a keyboard that is so stiff I might as well be chiseling each letter out of stone. And it’s really hard stone, too–not that soft limestone garbage.
On his way out, I was moping because (fill in the blank.  It’s August, so it could have been anything).  In an effort to cheer me up, he said, “Why don’t you do something adventurous to pass the time while I’m gone?  Live it up!”
In another life I would have taken that to mean, “Camille, take your credit card to New York City and live the Meg Ryan dream.”
But in this life, I simply went grocery shopping.
However, I went grocery shopping and pretended I was a yuppie [becoming a yuppie is, incidentally, my lifelong dream] and took my own reusable grocery bags and bought fresh herbs (since the ones in my garden are unbelievably pathetic) and I purchased four things I would have never bought if I wasn’t feeling so indulgent:

Excuse the awful photos–I didn’t think to take pictures until it was too dark outside for good light.

Gerber daisies are almost as good to have around the house as a husband is…or so I rationalised.

Bossy told me that this mascara would change my life, so I bought it.  It’s amazing.
I lost my previous can of hairspray.  Who loses an entire can of hairspray?  Someone who needs this life-changing can in their arsenal, that’s who.

And BioSilk Silk Therapy.  Not much to say except that if you don’t have it or have never used it, you might as well die an old, embittered spinster.  Poor Kyle will be so shocked at how nice I look when he gets home–I might even put on a bra for the occasion.
And I would have bought that new Stephanie Meyer book, but I was too excited to go home and make pesto with my shiny new basil from Safeway™, so I’ll have to save the reading extravaganza for Poor Kyle’s next trip.
Come to think of it, this single-wife way of life might not be so bad.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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14 Responses to The Sweet Life of a Single Wife

  1. Geneva says:

    I really am enjoying my single wifedom. I like having money and freedom. And I like being able to talk about something other than children. I’m a terrible Mormon, I know. Oh and I was talking about how my Honda Fit is a yuppie car and was talking about the word yuppy to a friend. It’s actually a marketing acronym for Young Upcoming Professionals. So by definition, I’m a yuppie.

    P.S. I made pesto from a basil plant I bought at Fresh and Easy a few weeks ago. Sometimes I think our lives are taking eerily similar turns. White cabinets anyone?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    First of all, you aren’t trying to go green very hard if you continue to buy aerosol hair spray. Hypocrite. Don’t get on my case about buying biodegradable diapers and wiping my son’s rear with leaves anymore.

    Second of all, if you want to be a young, urban professional, I do believe you need to have an education, or at the very least a job.

    And third of all, your Gerber daisies are just beautiful. They make me want to sing the opening refrain from Oklahoma! for some reason. Don’t know where that came from, but nonetheless there it is.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    DID YOU PAINT YOUR KITCHEN??? THOSE WALLS DO NOT LOOK PINK/PURPLE ANYMORE!!! WHAT THE HECK!!! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME??? (And don’t just say, “Well, if you’d come to Canada you could see it for yourself.)

  4. Anonymous says:

    The way you can make a trip to the grocery store seem exciting and adventurous is hilarious. Why don’t you take out a loan and go somewhere really wild. you could write a whole book. “Millie’s adventures in Zimbobwe.” (Improper spelling, I know, but too lazy to look it up.)

  5. Kim and Jason says:

    Ah yes, the life of a single wife. I know this all too well, sometimes wonderful and sometimes frustrating. Nice purchases though, I’m a big fan of the biosilk myself. But I’ll have to check out that mascara.

  6. HeatherPride says:

    mmmmmm, sounds awesome. I’m totally jealous of all your “me time”! Good choice on the flowers too, btw.

  7. Anonymous says:

    HM I MUST TRY THAT MASCARA NOW. GLAD YOU HAD FUN.

  8. Anonymous says:

    A nice good splurge is good for the soul! Nice work. ~A

  9. Anonymous says:

    like the maritime fishing wife, waiting for her man to come back from sea, bringing love and sustenance, the single wife learns the sweet life of longing.

    and then the bra. abit new, on this g rated blog….but a girl likes to look nice for her working man../(lucky devil).

  10. Alice says:

    Nice. I like buying things I’m normally too cheap to purchase. Like the $20 anti-aging cream.

    I really love the daisies!

  11. Lindsey Burnham says:

    OH! You are going to look beautiful with those new things!!! How happy!

    I’m sad we can’t take a RoadTrip to read that Stephanie Meyer book together… good times.

    And… I’m SO excited for your thursday update!

  12. Anonymous says:

    woot woot- it’s QUESTION-ANSWERING THURSDAY!

  13. Anonymous says:

    Hey Millie – Being a single wife isn’t all bad – I just finished up a 5 month stint of single wife-dom. Though I did have kids to keep in touch with, they are old enough to take care of their essential needs — and they enjoy their time away from mom as well – that is why I spent almost every day in June at my mom’s home in Homedale, Idaho making quilts and sewing. Now, my single wife days are over as I am again co-habitating with my husband, Robert. I am living in Pleasant Grove, UT and so far, so good!
    I love ya,
    Julie

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