The Ten Things Post

I was given an award by loyal reader Molly a few days ago.  {Molly is pretty awesome. She decided she likes my blog so much that she wanted to promote it, and because I am a very bad blogger and have not yet taken it upon myself to design an AOoL button, she just stole an image from me and made her own, with a link and everything, that sends her readers straight to my blog. Awesome? Yes.  You can see it here on the right sidebar a few images down. It’s lovely.}

Anyway, it is not often that I remember to fulfill the duties of these blog tag things, so I thought I better do it straightaway, while it is still fresh in my mind:

Ten Random But True (which is redundant because everything, and I do mean every thing, I write on this blog is 100% truth) Things About Me You Might Not Have Known:

1. As of May 2009, I get my nether-region hair waxed (Brazilian-style) on a regular basis. It’s nice. Highly recommend it.

2. I know what it takes to make friends at school, but I have become so disillusioned with friends in general that I have resolved to a) keep the ones I have, but b) make no new ones, ever. So I go for days without speaking to anyone in any of my classes, not even the ones who talk to me first—I just look at them blankly, pretending I don’t speak English. I am an international student, after all. It’s peaceful. Drama-free. Best decision I ever made.

3. Even though I keep losing the writing contests I enter, I have not given up. I’m entering another one tomorrow (this one has a cash prize and if I win, I have dedicated myself to spending part of it on my readers, so cross your little fingies).

4. I feel too young to have a life insurance policy, and I secretly suspect, in one half of a percentage point of the farthest recesses of my mind, that Poor Kyle is just biding his time until he can dispose of me quietly and cash in on the goods. It’s curtains for me.

5. Even though I have no hope of ever becoming a child star now that I’m well into my twenties, I still haven’t lost the dream to someday be a famous movie star.  Maybe in my old age. Grannies need to be portrayed on the big screen, too. I’ll be a great granny figure. That is, if the whole YouTube™ career doesn’t work out.

6. I, with the help of Google, discovered a cure for mild dandruff, and it doesn’t even involve using shampoo. Camille=green. Eco power, baby.

7. Someday, maybe even within the next year, I will be dying a portion of my hair pink. It was a goal of mine in high school, and, even though I’ve sort of moved on, I wrote it on my lifetime to-do list, and therefore it must be done. I say, the sooner, the better. Get it over with.

8. I don’t know how to wear lingerie. I tried buying some for a special occasion recently, got it home, and realised I had no idea what the garter straps were supposed to…well, strap.  Naturally, I turned to Google™ to find the solution, and YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT FOR ME, (ahem),  P-to-the-ORNOGRAPHY. I suffer from repressed sexuality due to growing up in a bubble and also having the traditional Mormon fear of God put into me about FORNICATION, to the point of even thinking “sex” was a dirty word until the age of seventeen. I am also extremely embarrassed to purchase my own bras, even the not-sexy kinds. Like I said: repressed. That’s why my regular Brazilians are so noteworthy—it’s an enormous step for me.

9. I used to wish I had been born an English heiress with a title; instead, I was born into a lower-middle class suburban American family. And that has made all the difference. No, really. Unanswered prayers and all that jazz—being a wealthy duchess would have ruined me. Though I still dig all things British, and someday hope to drag my husband there for an amazing summer holiday.

DDP

10. I use a prize system based on DDP to get work done. As soon as I finish this post, there will be a chilled-to-perfection can of the good stuff waiting for me to make love to it, figuratively speaking, of course. I might even don the sexy bra (I only own one) for the occasion. Hubba.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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23 Responses to The Ten Things Post

  1. Molly says:

    Oh Camille, that was great :). Thank you for the spotlight! :) Maybe I can cash in on one or two more readers, and boost my comment numbers! ha.

    Brazilians, wow, I have wondered about this, how do they go about doing this? DO they just have you take your pants off, or what? And isnt it akward having some very thin asian woman see your va-jay-jay? If I were not terrified of the humiliation, I would definitely try out the brazilian, but then again, i sort of like pain.

    Hooray for pink hair, can’t wait. Do they have Hot Topic out there? Great easy way to dye your hair a funny color, in one step.

    I have always wanted to get lingerie with garters, but, lingerie is totally wasted on my husband, he just wants to take it off as fast as he can anyway. :P but he is a leg man, so who knows, maybe he would like it?

    I am really curious about your remedy for dandruff, since I suffer from that ailment. :) So dish, sista!

    xoxoxo

  2. amy says:

    fyi, your list cracked. me. up. It’s not the typical list filled with things like “I secretly like brussels sprouts” and “I still call my mom ‘mommy'” and stuff. And for that? *applause*

  3. Shirley says:

    Whoa. Number nine.
    How I wish I could have been an heiress of a country estate in the mid-1700s. But I know it’s just my luck that, had I been born in that time, I probably would have been living in the mud with my six other siblings, hoping that my distantly related wealthy great-great-uncle would remember me in his will.

  4. Jordan says:

    Please do share your anti-dandruff secret! Cause this whole no poo thing sure doesn’t help the situation. I’ve been using a few drops of tea tree oil mixed in water a few times a week(also found via google). Seems to help, I think… But very interested in the method you found!

  5. Aimee says:

    Amen to the repressed issues! I went to the little shop of “Secret’s” for the first time 5 years into my marriage. I was nervous as all get out at first, but then just decided to hold my breath and dive right in. I think I tried on everything in the store and walked away with more stuff than I ever wear consistently.

    And is it not slightly anti-religious beliefs to get a Brazilian? I talked it up for a month or so in my wild and rebel days, but I chickened out.

    (Again, I blame repression.)

    Wonderful post!

  6. Tisha says:

    I can’t stop laughing!! I hope I’m already considered a friend if you’re not in the business of making new ones! If not, just let me know and I’ll stop bugging/being nice to you!

  7. Tisha says:

    I forgot, I was going to say something witty about us international students sticking together, but I got distracted and now I can’t remember what.

  8. Chloe says:

    Love this kind of posts!!! :)
    And I think I’m just like you: repressed.
    But pink hair? Oh, you’re so brave!! I had a friend who dyed her hair pink… But it ended up carrot orange!! Hope you get better results!!
    Oh. And please, post some pictures of your pink hair!!

  9. Lindsay says:

    a brazillian? you ARE brave! but i hear they are well worth it. as for garters – those things are ridiculous!! First of all, they are a pain to snap on and then they are even worse to try and undo! bad idea. just go for the corset, my friend, and cut off the damn garter thingies.

    i dyed a strip of my hair pink for the breast cancer walk and loved it so much, i kept it in. work didnt appreciate it all that much, but i LOVED it. Too bad my hair was all freaky when i dyed it back. It turned the right color, but the texture was all weird. I’ve never had that problem with other hair dyes, but for some reason that pink was rough. Better do it now tho. It’s not as cute as we get older…

  10. Molly says:

    looks like, due to customs, hottopic cant ship outside of the US, however I found another site with just the product i think would work the easiest… here it is.. http://www.amazon.com/NRAGE-Step-Bleach-Color-System/dp/B000QFQPLC

  11. Katie says:

    I’m scared of lingerie, too. I think its so pretty, but I don’t know what to do with it. Neither does Chris. So, we settle for flannel. (Sigh)

  12. Bahahahaha!!!
    Wow Camille, you took your honesty to a whole new level on this post!!!!
    I LOVE IT!!!!!!

  13. Carmen says:

    Wow, you reveal all your secrets on your blog. I don’t think I am as brave as you. I might have to try that waxing though.

  14. Hannah says:

    eeek! You are brave. I’ve always wanted to wax the nether regions but I’m to scared. It will hurt, and I really don’t want to lay down on a table and have some random person looking at said nether regions. even though I have given birth twice and both of those things have already come to pass. Is it awkward? I also suffer from dandruff especially this time of year. Whats the trick?

  15. Christal says:

    you never fail to make me laugh with your boldness !! To fun !! I miss sitting behind you guys we can NEVER get OUR BENCH!! one of these sundays I WILL reclaim it haha!!

  16. chelsie says:

    It never ceases to amaze me how similar we are… I have to give my self a prize system too. “ok self, if you can sit down and study for 90 minutes, you can go to qt and get a ddp.” “what you are thirsty now? too bad, you have to put in 90 minutes before you get your thirst quenched.”

  17. The world hasn’t heard from you in a week and it misses you.

  18. i.cannot.stop.laughing. you are the best! seriously. i just love you. ohhh the lingerie story is hilarious. and never give up hope on that child stardom. hehe

  19. Camberley says:

    This post is fricken hilarious!

    I haven’t been on your blog in a week (please forgive me, I’ve been crazy busy at work and I haven’t had time to blog surf and leave comments) and coming back to this post was quite delightful.

    Your personality/sense of humor is a lot like mine. The above post strengthened this theory.

    I hope all is well and I promise I’ll stop by more frequently after this week.

    Cheers,
    C

  20. anonymous says:

    where’s camille???

  21. Christina says:

    Are ya still snowed in…

    You just inspired me to get a brazilian wax. Funny about the whole repression thing, but it’s true. Good thing you love blog friends because they are low maintenance and you don’t have to even look them in the eye like your classmates. DDP is a simple pleasure & keep on entering those writing contests before your husband kills you for the insurance.

    I love to read your words..you’ve got skills little one.

  22. TeamHaynes says:

    I hate to admit I’m so very behind but you know how life goes. And I have a minor obsession with television right now. Watching and typing at the same time has provided fruitless comments from me. Sorry bout that. I didn’t want to get too behind because of course I read your blog. Commenting is another thing I need to kick myself in the butt for not doing, so here goes.
    Can I just say first that top 10 or top 402 lists are the best thing like ever? I don’t know what it is but I just love them.

    1. REALLY?! That is another bamf thing about you! Is it like they say? The most painful thing ever? I’ve always been curious, but not brave enough for sure.
    2. I know the whole new friend thing is not your thing, but why is that? Have you always been that way? Do facebook friends count? That is definitely a unique thing about you. Let me get all psychological on you by asking, were you like this as a baby?
    3. Keep on writing! I won’t stop reading, ever.
    4. Life insurance policies are so morbid to me. And yet I wish Taylor and I had a policy too. So I guess I might have to ignore the creepy feelings I get. I’m sure everyone feels that way with their spouse and getting one. Of course its unwarranted, but there’s just a smidgen of hhhmmm.
    5. You might not want to be a star once you become one. No privacy and you’ll be away from family constantly. I would say just be an actress who does a few movies enough to be recognized and yet you don’t have to work all the time or give your entire life story to the world. Or maybe you do want that?
    6. No poo = no dandruff eh? I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Unfortunately I don’t use a lot of shampoo and the bottle is still pretty full so I might wait until its done. Don’t count me out on this one though, I think it might be what I’m looking for.
    7. OMGOSH! I wanted to do that so bad when I was younger. Sadly with this dark of hair that I have its been impossible to even consider the effort but I like to live vicariously. So go for it! By the way, did you ever take markers and color your hair when you were little? All my blonde friends used to do it and I was so jealous. What little girl doesn’t want pink hair? Heck, for that matter what female doesn’t want pink hair?
    8. This in itself was amazing. I was laughing for about 2 minutes straight. And then I totally related. I think you should start with the small stuff, the non strappy stringy skimpy things. Never google again. I would try going to victoria secret or fredericks online and see how they wear things. All in the comfort of your own home. All the women are photo-shopped, trust me. Yeah, I was the girl that everyone made fun of because I only wore white bras. Same girl who will never go to a male cashier at Target for fear he’ll tell see some sort of feminine thing. Same girl who didn’t REALLY know what sex was until the wedding night. And the same girl who gets red when people say body parts out loud. I’ve come a long way.
    9. I have an obsession with the BBC. I could listen to them talk all day long, and then the next. British people fascinate me. I am very proud to be an American, but I just wish I could talk like a Brit. That would be awesome.
    10. Oh DDP. We’re out right now and the next Costco trip in the offing is some time close to when we finish that huge bag of frozen chicken. We have to make rules when it is in the house because it would be gone in a week very easily. I might have to convince Taylor to get two cases next. We’ll see how that goes.
    Lists are so much fun! You should do them more often!

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