This is the Part Where I Get Over Myself and Stop Being Depressed.

There are two things I have learned about dieting—excuse me, I mean “healthy living” (because it’s a lifestyle change, not a diet, you know {“dieting” has become another victim of the politically incorrect movement, so let’s all thank the ’90s}).  I have learned:

1) Will power doesn’t have anything to do with muscle tone.

2) Exercising self-control doesn’t burn any calories.

Ironic, isn’t it?  Power, exercise, control…all these words imply some sort of mighty mighty overthrow of gluttony, but at the end of the day, it’s nothing but a bunch of hot air.

In an ideal world, I would lose weight based on what I haven’t eaten since Christmas.  Think about it: how many holiday candies, baked goods, Girl Scout cookies, fancy restaurant desserts, Dairy Queen™ cherry dipped cones, cheesecakes, and glasses of strawberry lemonade have I turned down since December 30th?  At least five pounds worth. This weekend alone, I turned down baskets full of Cadbury™ mini eggs, cream-filled chocolates, Caramilks™, Mars Bars™, birthday cake, Saskatoon berry pie+ice cream, and my own dadgum homemade cookies!  If I had consumed even half of what I was offered this week, I would have gained many many pounds.

Shouldn’t it naturally follow, then, that I ought to have lost many many pounds, simply by exercising restraint for days on end?

Ah, but no: exercise of restraint—though comparable to marathon-running in exhaustiveness and difficulty—doesn’t actually burn a single calorie.  It’s one of the greatest injustices of my life.

The good news is this: I have lost 19 pounds (it was up to 21, but what can I say?  I’m only human} since December 30th, and my pants—what few pairs I own—are falling off my bum.  {I suppose that last part doesn’t necessarily qualify as “good news,” but that’s just me, the eternal optimist!}

The bad news is: I started a Biggest Loser competition with my mom, my sister, and my friend, after I had already lost my first 19 pounds.  Losing another ten has proved very difficult for me.  Which means, in another day or two, I will likely have to part with $20, because I will probably not be the biggest loser.

But let’s end on a bright note (again with the eternal optimism nonsense): I have lost 19 pounds, and I am not giving up my quest to lose another ten before June 20th.  I look back on pictures like these below {I snapped them myself in November (almost the height of my weight gain)}, and I can see a difference:

Chubby Face1See, I had intended to post about Geneva’s necklace all the way back then, but I just couldn’t figure out why my face looked so plump in these pictures.

Hair in Front Chubby Face…I tried shifting my hair around…

Different Angle Plump Face…and I tried turning my head different angles…

Crop-out Cop-out…but I still wasn’t happy with my appearance.  Finally, I just cut my face out of the pictures, but that didn’t really solve my problem—it just cropped itself out of my immediate awareness.  It was a crop-out cop-out.

I never did post about the necklace, until yesterday, that is.  Oh, sure, I’ll probably always have insecurities about my body.  But never again do I want to feel like I did back in November—like I had to hide my face because someone I knew from high school might read my blog and feel satisfied that I’d put on weight.

And if my $20 is going to such a worthy cause—that three of the women I love most in my life are working to improve their health and self-esteem—well…let’s just say…

…it’s a very small price to pay.  I’m not rich, but I’d pay that times ten, if it would help the people I love feel this way.

pajama shotAnd that’s why, when Poor Kyle was Photoshopping™ the pictures for yesterday’s post, I asked him to please leave my pimples just how they were.  (You can see them nice and big if you click on this photo once, and then a second time—they’ll take over your screen.)

p.s.  I’m not fishing for compliments, just for the record.  I had an entirely different post planned for today, but Poor Kyle advised me to cheer things up around here.  He said I’ve been a major downer lately, and nobody likes the girl who sucks the fun out of life.  So I thought and I thought, and I searched for something to be happy about, and guess what?  It worked.  I really am happy for my own hard work.  I think I’ve overcome my bout with depression. Thanks, Poor Kyle.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in change, Cutting Back, It's All Good, self-actualisation, what I'm about and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to This is the Part Where I Get Over Myself and Stop Being Depressed.

  1. anna says:

    I’m impressed. That’s a lot of weight to lose from dieting, ahem, living a healthy life style.

  2. Chloe says:

    I wish I could lose weight… But I don’t have control of my instincts!! If you find chocolate, you’ll find me there too, devouring it, like a beast.
    Yum yum!

  3. Granmama says:

    Good. Carr ON! K-2 clear…..

  4. Geneva says:

    YAY!!! That is such an achievement! You have way more dedication and self-control than I do!

  5. jethro says:

    The only thing i would NOT turn down on your turn down list would be the saskatoon berry pie…minus the ice cream. (I’m glad i don’t like sweets). I did hear tell of your awesome dinner rolls, i would certainly have had a few of them.

    Way to be, optimist!

  6. Joel says:

    Yeah, losing weight is a good thing. I’m down 30 pounds, and I’m down to one pair of pants. On the other hand, I now can wear shirts that haven’t fit me since high school, so that’s good. I like the exercising part more than then eating vegetables part. Though I don’t really miss the HFCS or the deep fried crap or the fast food. In fact, we had fast food a few weeks ago and it was so terrible that we’re not even tempted anymore. It’s hard to be tempted by a fried salt licks, after all…

  7. Jami says:

    inspiring! i have been one naughty eater in the last 2 weeks. I put 4 pounds back on. Isn’t that crazy that it took me so long to lose it, and then it took like a WEEK to put it back on??? But I am back on track

  8. Maureen says:

    Congratulations on doing so well with your weight loss goals. Hopefully I’ll be saying the same thing in a little while :)

    And yeah, I hate running too. I have tried it before but have never been able to stick with it. Walking is a more realistic goal for me.

  9. Shalynna says:

    19 pounds is awesome. Were the first 5-10 the hardest like everyone says? We know you aren’t fishing for compliments, but you can’t stop us from giving them… you look great! I think you should rewards yourself for losing weight by buying a new swimsuit and then maybe putting it to some use. (No pressure).

    I meant to comment on your previous post because I love that necklace. Bright colored beads can add so much to an outfit, even to pajamas like you so beautifully represented! :)

  10. Kimberly says:

    Wow girl, I’m in awe – 19 pounds!! That is so awesome and so worthy to keep you cheerful and happy for days on end! I’m down to only squeezing into a couple last pair of pants, I have to get serious on losing some weight soon cause its starting to affect my mood :-( Ick. You’re looking awesome girl!

  11. HeatherPride says:

    Losing weight is awesome. I am down 5 1/2 so far and I’m really impressed with your 19 pounds!! Congrats, Camille!

  12. 19 is nothing to be disillusioned of! Good going!

  13. Christal says:

    good job camille!! You look great! I wish I could lose 10 pounds –the winter 10 this year seriously sucks!! Have a great day!

  14. Katie says:

    Girl, I feel you. I can’t tell you how many goodies I have turned down and I feel like I got nothin’ to show for it. What a downer. HOWEVER, don’t you poo-poo 19 pounds! That’s a dieting miracle! I mean, a lifestyle miracle…

  15. ann marie says:

    Good for you! 19 pounds.. Woot!
    I started eating healthier and exercising last week and I lost 4 pounds.. After Easter I am not so sure the weight is not back.. But I’m not going to look until next week. I’m not horrible with eating.. I’m terrible with exercising. I want to lose like 70 pounds! Aaaah! Now I feel ready for another baby.. and I refuse until I get healthier..

    I was always a string bean my whole life. Could eat and do what I wanted and gained nothing.. Then I reached 25 and had a baby and YIKES!

    I am on a mission now.. and with my family all working out together.. I’m hoping to go back to liking to take pictures of me again….

    Can you believe I never knew people photoshopped their blog pictures? I just found out like last week… AAAAHHH….
    I am lame.

  16. Hannah says:

    Good job! I am also trying to lose some weight. I’ve lost 21lbs since Jan 26th.. The day I had my second child :) Yes some of that was lost right after having her because she was no longer in there. But I still like to think my hard work did most of it. I have been gaining some and losing some the past few weeks and it’s driving me nuts! I’m begining to lose hope. Maybe I should do a biggest loser of my own to help motivate me. Since I stopped eating sweets and such I’ve stayed the same, so I gave in this weekend and ate lots and I’m still the same…. anyways, I’m sitting here eating junior mints and looking at my rolls feeling a tiny bit depressed but satisfied. :)

  17. PK knows what’s best….in this case anyways.

  18. niki says:

    19 pounds is seriously so impressive.

  19. Anonymous says:

    I’m going to have to agree with you and Jami on this one. What the heck??? Why is it so dang hard to take off one, measly pound, but it seems as though all one has to do is smell chocolate to put it back on??? Completely unfair, I agree. That is a major feat, Mill. Keep on keeping on.

    Oh, and I always felt this way about school work. I felt like all the time and effort should have some sort of reward. How is it fair that I used to study hours on end for a test while John Smith never cracked a book, and he always aced it while I was lucky to pass? I always used to get depressed about one’s efforts not being rewarded, or at least acknowledged. That’s life, though, I guess.

  20. Pingback: Time Flies When You’re Trying to Cheer Up. | Archives of Our Lives

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