This Pregnant Pause.

Guess what happened to me today?

A woman looked me in the face, and asked if I am pregnant.  Just like that.  “Are you pregnant?”

What could have possibly given her that idea? Weird.

Thankfully, I’ve been growing some pretty thick skin since I moved to Canada (must be the windchill factor), and I was amused more than affronted.

“No,” I replied, “Why?  Do I look pregnant?”  I was hoping to make her feel a little awkward about it, and I think it worked, at least a little.

She mumbled something about someone telling her I was pregnant, but it sounded like a shady excuse to me.  Sure, lady—blame it on the neighborhood gossip.  She wouldn’t confess who it was who’d “tipped her off,” so I’ll probably never know for sure.

I’m still pretty amazed, though, even now, hours after she asked.  I didn’t know this sort of thing actually happens anymore.  I mean, I’ve heard rumors of such idiocy, but I never believed that people could seriously be daft enough to straight up ask a woman if she is pregnant.  Sure, they can guess at it behind closed doors, but coming right out and asking, “Are you pregnant?” is risky business; even if the questioner knows that said woman is indeed pregnant, asking outright can be damaging to a lady’s feelings.  And female (specifically this female’s) emotions are certainly no joking matter.  What if I am pregnant but am happy because I don’t think I’m showing yet?  Asking me if I’m pregnant implies that I looks pregnant, and that can be a rude awakening for someone who had (formerly) been pleased with her appearance.

Not that I was pleased with my appearance anyway…

But whatev.  It still hurts.

I mean, I know I have a paunch.  I’ll probably always have a paunch…

The proof is in the puddin’.

But there’s a difference between that up there, and this right here:

Isn’t there?  There’s a difference, right?  Anyone??

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in fiascos, It's All Good, Married Life, what a nightmare, woe is me and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to This Pregnant Pause.

  1. Someone asked me that once. I actually cried later thinking about it.

    : (

  2. Lindsay says:

    this kills me…how is it not yet one of those unspoken rules of society? that you NEVER ask someone that…even if she is the size of a blimp and 9 months along, you NEVER EVER ask.

    and whatever, you have lost more than a whole newborn baby with your weight loss goals! and the next time someone asks, just start some gossip and say ‘yeah, actually, i’m due in april.’ then see what they say. (it could make for quite an entertaining blog post.)

  3. Lindsay says:

    oooh and hello wall paint color swatches behind you! did you decide to go with that yellow? i will for sure be needing you and chelsie’s help when it comes to repainting this house if we get it. Seriously – avacado green kitchen cabinets, and yellow walls. it’s painful.

  4. anna says:

    I totally asked someone if they were pregnant and they looked at me and said No, watched my face turn a dark red and then laughed. They totally were. I have done it twice and both were on “need to know basis”, trust me. Luckily, both were positive too.

    Then there was the time someone asked me if I was pregnant (husband’s ex) and I looked at them straight-faced and said we just found out we couldn’t have kids. After a long awkward pause, I busted up laughing. Try that one next, it’s great.

  5. jami says:

    oh Camille…this is called “the mormon culture”…well maybe not…but it seems like things like this happen ALL THE TIME here in mormonville!
    Someone asked me if I was pregnate once as well. Grace was like 8 months old. I responded “is that a fat joke?” I think they felt bad…it made me feel good!
    I feel like I should write a booklet of rules to society.
    1. don’t ask if a woman is pregnate
    2. If a woman is pregnate…do no touch her belly. Just b/c there is a baby living in her tummy doesn’t mean that it is appropiate to touch a womans tummy.
    3. do not ask when someone is going to have a baby…or when they plan on having their next one. (I have to admitt that I have done this before…but I am trying to never do it again.)

    in any case, you look wonderful, and you DO NOT look pregnate. You radiat beauty…maybe the lady was mistaking your beautiful for “the pregnate glow” that people speak of (of which I never expirenced)

  6. Anonymous says:

    Millie,

    I’m so sorry. What an idiot!

  7. Kyle's Granny says:

    Reminds me of a skit I once wrote for Relief Society, concerning the evils of “Gossip”. It consisted of a servies of phone calls between a number of close friends, first report started with another friend who was sick two mornings in a row, escalated through the telling with speculation that the sickee had been weawring some odd blousy clothing lately, by the 5th phone call, she was definitely pregnant, but nobody was sure yet just when the blessed event was to take place. P.S. The message got across….
    don’t ever open that bag of feathers.

    Camille, when you’re asked rude, intrusive questions, the standard answer is (smile sweetly) and say “Why do you want to know?”

  8. ann says:

    Oh my… First… No.. You don’t look prego.
    2nd.. You are right.. So tacky!
    Unless it is a close friend I would NEVER say anything. What if they miscarried or some other sad thing… I find it’s best to not find “small talk” with pregnancy stuff. Your always going to be back peddling somehow…

  9. Tisha says:

    lol!! How could anyone possibly think that! You don’t look remotely prenant!!

  10. Anonymous says:

    I had someone ask me if I was pregnant when my child was 2 months old. In their defense, the baby wasn’t with me and they didn’t know me. Thanks- um, no, I am just still packing pounds around. Also, it seems like as a Mormon, people expect you to have your children 2 years or less apart…not me. I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby and almost my life. I still have people asking me all of the time if I am going to have another one and the hurt is still too fresh. It had also taken me a long time to have the first one. These topics are none of anyone’s business and I never know how to respond!

  11. Anonymous says:

    To clarify-The ectopic pregnancy was my second child- that I lost at 3 months along.

  12. Geneva says:

    I was asked the same thing on Sunday. I said in my best dead pan voice, “No, thank you for asking.” Silly people.

  13. sarah says:

    Sad… even when I was first pregnant and people I didn’t know would ask if I was pregnant I thought they were very brave. I didn’t think I was showing yet. Crazy people!

  14. raygon says:

    so whose pregnant tummy is that in your pictures? I notice it is in the same house with the tested paint on the back wall…
    she is brave to ask that. oh, I mean stupid.

  15. Jessica Abbott says:

    See, I am actually on the other side of this. I hate it when I am obviously pregnant, I have seen someone cast me a sideways glance to get a look at my belly, and then they don’t say anything. I actually want to wear a sign around from about 4 months along and on that says, “Yes, I am pregnant- not just fat.”

    See, it’s much more offensive to me when someone doesn’t ask because then I just know they are thinking about how much weight I am packing around these days.

  16. Katie says:

    When I was first pregnant, I was DYING for people to ask me because I thought that if they didn’t think I was pregnant, then they’d just think I was fat. Its a no-win situation, I guess.

  17. Camille says:

    angela hardison– I haven’t cried yet, but I might still.

    Lindsay– I can’t wait to see your house! Though asking me for decorating advice is like einstein asking the town idiot for math help. You’re way better than me.

    Kyle’s granny– Thanks for the good advice!

    Anna– How awful! I am sure I’ll stick my foot in my mouth sometime. And it’s different if it’s “need to know” as opposed to “dying to know.”

    Jami– I RADIATE BEAUTY? You’re my new favourite person of the day.

    Anonymous my sister– I know. Thanks.

    ann– A NEW FRIEND! Hi, and welcome! Thanks for backing me up on this.

    Tisha– Thanks. I was getting worried.

    anonymous– It should just be off-limits. No matter what. People are fools. I’m sorry about nosies gettin’ all up in your business, and I’m sorry about your loss. Thanks for commenting!

    Geneva– You’re looking skinnier every time I see you. People are idiots.

    sarah– See? My point exactly. It’s just a bad idea.

    raygon– Oh, it was my tummy, with a couple pillows stuffed under my hoodie. Pretty good, eh? (I think I’ve perfected the “hand-on-back” look that pregnant women so often use.)

    Jessica Abbott– A new commenter? Hi, and welcome. I guess it’s bad no matter what people do, eh?

    Katie– You and Jessica both. I am sure I’ll think differently if I ever do become pregnant.

  18. HeatherPride says:

    This after you just lost those 9 pounds? That’s downright insulting. You don’t look pregnant in any way, shape or form. It makes me wonder if the person who asked you the question has ever seen a pregnant woman before!! Nah, forget it Camille. No way, no how.

  19. Christal says:

    seriously people are so tacky ! Is it just this ward? ha ha j/k some people though!
    Your so skinny I don’t know how they could even ask you that, I always wish I was tall so I could be skinny like you! As if you even look like your preggers in any way! Rude people! ttyl

  20. Holly Decker says:

    dreadful. i still dont understand how people have the guts to ask.
    i mean, even ME… how can they assume?
    what if i am just large? what if i just had my kid and i am still flabby and fat? what if i am pregnant but i just found out that my baby has a terrible disease and may not live… and it pains me to think of it? how can people just… say stuff like that?
    i myself, even when hearing rumors or wondering or hoping or just feeling nosey… i NEVER ASK.
    and for the record.
    yes. there IS a difference.
    and i trust that when you are and when you are ready to, you will tell us. so, i am not suspicious of you at all.
    the end.

  21. Whitney says:

    Boo women! You know how I feel about women and their topics of conversation. Is it really anyones business? I mean when did you being pregnant or not become her business!? AND if you were, most likely you tell people so they dont think you just are gaining weight like a crazy person. The gossiping never ends though.

  22. jeff says:

    Beyond gossiping, asking such a question, both rude and inane, might indicate some sort of pregnancy obsession, like the octuplet mom. I have another answer to offer, as equally ridiculous as the question; “Why YES I am! AND, i’m a virgin, dadgummit.

  23. EverybodyNose says:

    My dad accidentally did that to a woman in our ward… he felt AWFUL! I think he might’ve sent her flowers or something he felt so awful….
    And I too have been asked if I was pregnant, and how many children I have. Granted, the girl thought I was Bekah…but still!!!!!!

  24. anonymous says:

    ouch! atleast you can take comfort in the fact that she probably felt really stupid

  25. alexamae says:

    she was drunk. im pretty sure of it.
    seriously, the nerve of some people. no way do you look prego, NO WAY! was she old? old people are kinda rude, i hate to say it, but they are. they hold nothing back. you keep your chin up, ms. camille

  26. Niki says:

    Yes, dear camille, there is a difference. An incredible difference.

  27. Loralee says:

    You’re totally bigger than I am. Are we due at the same time?

    Heh.

    Seriously, though…I could do that pre-pregnancy. You aren’t fat.

  28. Thais says:

    GAH!! This has happened to me too!!! A few times! Three times in the last 6 months. One lady was in my ward during the Halloween Trunk or Treat deal and I was running around like a crazy person because I was in the activities committee. It was her small conversation while I poured her some punch. I wanted to pour the punch down her shirt after she said that.

    Second was my sweet temple coordinator. I was standing at my assigned post and my cute temple dress has a slit thing that opens up under the bust (empire waist). I had barely had dinner and I was there rubbing my FULL belly waiting for patrons and she got all grinny and excited and asked if I was expecting. Good thing we were in the temple of our Lord.

    The most recent one was the army nurse recruiter. He came in during our break so there were three of us in there. I was standing with my back against the wall to stretch my poor legs after being in lecture for four hours non stop. He looks down at my belly, he looks at me and flat out asked if I was pregnant. I said no in major indignation and he mumbled something about being sorry and got all awkward and proceeded to hand me free floss and penlights.

    You don’t look pregnant! I don’t either!! I blame it on the g’s. elastic mid belly and then jeans below belly…. creates a pauch!

  29. Lauren says:

    Oh heavens. I go away for a few days, and then there is drama.

    Camille…the lady is a typical Mormon busybody. You are sooooo skinny and so beautiful! And in no way pregnant-looking!

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