Yesterday I woke up bright and early, showered, packed George Jettson to the brim, made the bed, folded the towels, washed the dishes, turned off the heater, locked the doors, and flipped Mayberry the bird as I sped away.

Everything necessary to leave the house for an extended holiday away from It All.

I was outta this joint.

Obligatory start-of-trip dashboard reading (okay, so I didn’t get out of the house till 10:30—don’t you judge me).

Everything was great:

Until pretty soon it wasn’t:

See that white stuff all over the road? It’s not snow. It’s snow’s evil twin sister—SLUSH.

And what many of you Arizona drivers may not know is that slush is probably worse than snow for driving. It’s much more slippery and altogether nasty.

What this photo does not capture is the hurricane-force winds that accompanied the slush. I mean, slush by itself is bad enough, but the wind made me slip around more than once within ten minutes, and it was not a fun experience.

It was a storm I had been hearing about on the weather channel all weekend, but until yesterday, I was in denial about it. It would trail all the way from Mayberry to Idaho on the I-15, which—wait—yeah, that’s exactly where I needed to be yesterday. And it will last until Thursday.


So with tears streaming down my blotchy melodramatic face, I slowed George Jettson down and turned around at the next exit.

As I drove back home (really away from home, but meh—semantics), the GPS railed on me, countering my decision every 500 metres:

Recalculating. In 500 metres, turn left; then turn left.

When possible, make a U-turn.

You’re making a mistake.

A terrible mistake.

You’re a failure.

Recalculating. Turn around and keep going, you lousy piece of yankee garbage.

In the end, though, I stuck with my decision to go back to Mayberry for the duration. My house was dismal when I got back. The only thing more depressing than coming home at the end of a wonderful holiday is coming home at the beginning of a wonderful holiday. One that never started.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Mesa. I’ll see you when I see you.

p.s. Niki? I think we’ll have to reschedule. Sorry.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in Canada, failures, mediocrity, on the road again, sad things, Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Thwarted.

  1. Jordan says:

    That utterly sucks! And the worst part is that it’s May! I like snow but I’d be pissed about snow in May. Heh, it’s May in Mayberry…

  2. Jamie @ PB&N says:

    Sorry about your trip but, Camille, honey, DO NOT TURN THE HEAT OFF in Canada in May. I have seen many a house full of water from frozen broken pipes in May in Colorado. Just turn it down.

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention Stupid Canada. --

  4. anna says:

    Bummer! Darn slush (but you’re right, I had no clue that was more slippery than snow…) Hopefully you get to the warm land soon.

  5. geevz says:

    sad! I’m crying for you inside. disappointment sucks.

  6. Christal says:

    sad I’m so sorry I’m glad you turned around though it was NASTY!!! You’ll get there soon wait a day and it will be balmy out remember! Have an awesome summer though and drive careful! Still love your hair too btw!! Looks great!

  7. DeAnna says:

    That wind really is nasty isn’t it? Turns a plain old snow storm into a nasty one. I have honestly never been forced to turn around or stop driving due to icky roads. I just drove really, really slow & didn’t rush it, must have something to do with growing up & learning to drive in the land of freak Winter/Spring storms. It is sad to not be enjoying the warmth right now. Try not to be too disapressed about having to wait to leave.

  8. chelsie says:

    I love george Jettson, however I wish he worked more like a can or an old shoe from Harry Potter… If he did, snow wouldn’t matter.

  9. niki says:

    such terrible news! especially for me. but your safety is most important. keep me posted. we can most definitely reschedule.

  10. Tisha says:

    Dear Camille, if you figure out a way to pack me in your suitcase, please do so. I hate snow. There should not be icicles hanging from your roof while you are trying to celebrate Cinqo de Mayo. Sincerely, Sick and Tired of the Stupid Effin Snow/Slush/Wet, Nasty Cold Stuff

  11. Tiffany says:

    Oh my goodness, if you find a way to get back to Mesa, TAKE ME WITH YOU! I grew up there too and I never get to go home either. I feel your pain. Really sorry the slush kept you away… hasn’t this winter/spring/winter again been such a pain in the rear?

Comments are closed.