What Dreams May (or May Not) Come

All MINI™ images from here.

With Tamra Camry out of commission, and Thor as my current chariot, I’ve been spending more and more time thinking about my dream car.  [Sorry, Thor.  You’re a decent guy and all, but…you smell.  Like a dirty old Ford truck.  And I’m pretty sure Poor Kyle drove you to makeout hill on more than one occasion in high school.  Therefore you have negative feng shui.  In other words, you’re a swell stand-in, but I have my sights set a bit higher for the future.]

Don’t misunderstand: Tamra Camry is a seriously dependable gem of a car, and pretty fuel-efficient to boot, but…I killed her yesterday, and there’s no telling when, if ever, she’ll revive.  So for now, I’m dreaming of brighter days.  {I’m dreaming of richer days.}  And yes, it’s just a dream, but cut me some slack—I’ve had a bad week.

A MINI Cooper™ is just the vehicle to drive my sorrows away.  And, what luck!  According to msn.com, a MINI™ is among the top 10 values for a fully-loaded vehicle (because someday I will own a fully-loaded vehicle; maybe not today, and maybe not until I’m too old to legally drive…but mark my words: it will happen), and you all know how I love a good deal.  Here’s what msn.autos had to say about the smashing value of my dream vehicle [with my added insight in brackets]:

Built by BMW, the MINI Cooper is a premium small car with lots of available amenities. [I like amenities.  Tamra has a cassette player.] Among the comforts are leather upholstery, heated seats [more necessary in Canada than I never knew possible], automatic climate control, a Harman Kardon audio system with high-definition radio [what the heck is a Harman Kardon, and why isn’t it called a Harman Karman?], a universal garage-door opener, keyless access and starting [when it takes 10 minutes to warm a car up before driving, keyless starting is a real bonus], Bluetooth cell phone connectivity, an iPod adapter [hey, I have an iPod™!] and a navigation system [heaven knows I’m “lost” without one of those]. Also available are rain-sensing wipers, heated washer jets and xenon headlights.  [Will XENON headlights make me, like, become a warrior princess or something?  That would be fantastic.] Choose all those options for the $18,550 base trim [hello my life savings—oh wait, I have no life savings] and the price tops out at $26,050 [this is almost doubled when buying a Canadian vehicle]. Or, buyers can choose the $28,550 John Cooper Works edition [sure, why not?], which includes a 208-horsepower turbocharged 4-cylinder engine, sport seats, fog lights, a rear spoiler, upgraded brakes, a performance suspension and 17-inch alloy wheels.

But at the end of the day, amenities are just fluff; let’s take a closer look at what I really want in a dream car [please note that these are not necessarily realistic expectations; I drive a Tamra Camry in my for-real life]:

1.  Fuel efficiency. According to their website, a MINI™ is so fuel efficient, it could drive to the moon and back on 532* tanks of gas.  *You cannot drive to the moon, even in a MINI, they say.  But seriously, it gets 449 miles per tank of fuel, which is about 100 more than my same-sized Tamra Camry tank.  Ideally, I would own a hybrid, but MINIs™ don’t come in hybrids yet.  Maybe by the time I’m dead they will, which is perfect because that’s when I’ll be able to afford one.

2.  Safety.  Especially {as of yesterday} in winter driving. According to the amazing feat of Internet engineering (also known as the www.MINIUSA.com), the MINI™ is one of the safest compact vehicles available for winter driving.  One feature in particular, Corner Braking Control, was created for situations just like yesterday’s accident.  A day late and a dollar short; that’s what I say.  To learn more, check out their incredibly hilarious, marketed-just-for-me website.  If nothing else, the “worst-case scenarios” will make you chortle.

3.  Chic-ness. I don’t really think words are necessary to solidify this point in anyone’s mind, except for maybe my sister’s mind, which cannot grasp the magnificence that is this car…

So I guess that settles it: A MINI Cooper™ is a perfect candidate for my dream car. Now I only need to decide one thing:

Pepper White, which is over-the-top precious…

…or Chili Red, which screams “I have spunk?”

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
This entry was posted in fashion people, like-it-link-it, on the road again, Pretty Things, what I'm about and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to What Dreams May (or May Not) Come

  1. Tisha says:

    What the crap! How is it the day I don’t use my computer is the day you tell the world you were in an accident! I even saw you today and didn’t say anything about it! You must think me terribly rude! I’m so sorry!

  2. Geneva says:

    I know some people selling a silver one if you are interested :)

    And I completely understand the bawling. I got hit by a car in college (and junior high) while riding my bike. Fortunately it was right in front of the health center. I was trying to talk to the doc in between sobs and she asked, “Is it really hurting that bad?” No lady, I just got pummeled by a Chevy Blazer and I’m a little shook up, ok? People.

    So you can continue to cry all you want.

  3. linda rae says:

    But how many child safety seats can a Mini accommodate?

  4. Tessa says:

    Oh Camille! I am sorry to hear about your accident. But you’re dream car is awesome! When are you coming to AZ again cause I’m getting my mini the first of may, you could test drive it and really decide if you want one.

  5. Whitney says:

    Mini coopers are very cute… but camille if you got in another accident I dont think you would survive. If some idiot hit you you would be smashed. Im starting to sound like my dad… sorry.

  6. raygon says:

    Those are sweet little cars! I had no idea they cost so much though…geesh!

  7. Katie says:

    Chic-ness gets a larger share of the considerations pool if you ask me. Very important. Very, very important.

  8. Lindsay says:

    i think of the Italian job every time i see a mini cooper….they are the perfect bank robbing accessory. well, not that YOU would need it for that.

  9. jami says:

    I like the white one. And can’t you get a fully loaded used one for cheaper. JUST DO IT!

  10. Camille says:

    Tisha– Well it’s not like you’ve been having a gem of a week, either. I didn’t want you to think I was one-upping you!

    Geneva– Holy crap! You got hit by a car??? I had no idea. That is becoming a very real fear for me, which is odd, because…well, what are the chances?

    linda rae– I fail to see the relevance of your question.

    Tessa– ANOTHER COMMENT!!!!! That makes two this year, I think! A record! : ) I AM SO SO SO excited for you to own one, and I will MOST definitely take you up on that (if you think I can be trusted). Sweet.

    Whitney– I know, I know. I’ve thought of that, too. Realistically, a MINI would be much more of an AZ car than a Canada car. Or maybe just a Canadian Summer car (ha! As if I could switch my cars with the seasons!).

    raygon– It costs to be cool. Not that I would know.

    Katie– They’re SO beautiful, don’t you think?

    Lindsay– I had never even seen one in my LIFE until I watched the Italian Job. It changed me.

    Jami– Yes, but this is just my dream.

  11. HeatherPride says:

    I’m kind of worried they won’t see you in the white car with all that snow up there in Canada. Therefore I’m voting for the red. I hope your dream [car] comes true!!

  12. BOSSY says:

    Yes, Pepper White. But is that the same as the Cream version Bossy sees on the highway? Has it always been Pepper White? Seems so much creamier than White Pepper, for instance Bisque White.

  13. Pepper White! Do it. Mini’s are really fun to drive… when we borrowed Clint’s grandma’s (yes, she is awesome) I had so much fun.

  14. Holly Decker says:

    your love of mini’s is truly amazing.
    i secretly have a love of motorcycles… but i will never allow myself to get one. they just arent safe, ya know?

  15. Niki says:

    I love minis. My bro in law has one. His has a chip in it and it’s super fast.

    You’ll get it one day. I know you will.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Sorry to tell you but I think this is the ugliest car I have ever seen. And why do only tall girls want to drive these things? Ugh.

  17. anna says:

    I love Minis. I planned on buying one when I graduated from ASU (and was still living at home, single and making the big bucks… ha). But then I got married and my practical self foiled plans of buying one.

  18. EverybodyNose says:

    I’ve loved these cars ever since I saw the movie The Italian Job!

  19. Pingback: Archives of Our Lives » I’m a Regular George Orwell (But Without the Smut).

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