{What I Really Need Is a Chicken Wing and a Good Hair Cut}

In most cases, I jump on any bandwagon that looks like fun; in today’s case (i.e. The Case of Typing “(Your Name) Needs” Into the Google Search Bar and Hitting Enter), I’m really glad I did. Because evidently…

-Camille needs bodyguards because too many people hate her.
-Camille needs men.
-Camille needs issues addressed on the level of feelings.
-Camille needs to change her horizons.
-Camille needs to negotiate with the manager to get an EDIFACT order process.
-Camille needs to get a backbone.

{How about a chicken bone and a good cut ‘n colour?? That’s what I say.}

-Camille needs a duck to keep her company.
-Camille needs an experienced dog owner that is willing to work with her and train her with consistency.
-Camille needs to watch his words (“Camille” can be a man’s name in French, you know–it’s pronounced “Camee”).
-Camille needs a little more Prozacâ„¢, and…
-Camille needs an ice water enema administered with a 3″ fire hose fitted with a wide-angle nozzle [goodness gracious–Poor Other Camille!].

Try it–it’s fun. It’s like cracking open a whole bunch of fortune cookies all at once.

Also, you have until 10 p.m. tonight to enter yesterday’s contest. Winners of the $25.00 gift card will be announced Thursday morning.

About Camille

I'm Camille. I have a butt-chin. I live in Canada. I was born in Arizona. I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Hello. You can find me on Twitter @archiveslives, Facebook at facebook.com/archivesofourlives, instagram at ArchivesLives, and elsewhere.
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9 Responses to {What I Really Need Is a Chicken Wing and a Good Hair Cut}

  1. Anonymous says:

    hey cool..that’s funny..i’ll have to try that. don’t have a google search bar yet though. i’m sure i need all those things, and other unmentionables.
    i gladly anticipate the announcement to come. i did play a bit, anon, and it was fun. thanks for another good time, camille.
    another loyal anon fan.

  2. Holly Janeen says:

    you are hilarious… glad i finally made a blog that you are a fan of! its basically a dream of mine to know that you, my blogging hero, actually visit and comment on my blog- so thanks for accomplishing my dreams!! now i can die happy :)

    well… aprons are addicting… i am warning you! :)but super fun… i got way too much fabric, i got a yard and a half of each… but its because i have no idea what i am doing! i suggest asking a professional of some sort, seriously. but i also got a lot of fabric IN CASE i totally screw up… i mean, scissors, lets be honest, seem so FINAL, ya know?

    but good luck with the apron!! and i seriously wish i was creative enough to enter your recent contest… but im just not feelin’ it for some reason… the pressure is too great! but how do we KNOW if you laugh or not? will you videotape you reading them??? oh how i love your videos… like the one about the piano… thats my personal fave :)
    oh my how i ramble!!!!!!
    hey, does Adell have a blog or is she just happy with reading yours?

  3. Alice says:

    Love your music list on the bottom, but love the chicken-eatin’ picture even more!

  4. Anonymous says:

    haha- how random. how did u think of that? haha. i’ll have to go try now

  5. Sparkliesunshine says:

    Now I want to try this again. Though I do feel terrible for poor ice water enema Camille. Ouch!

  6. Anonymous says:

    Anonymous needs help.
    Anonymous needs an audience.
    Anonymous needs a hacker.
    Anonymous needs to lay low.
    Anonymous needs to hear a consoling voice.
    Anonymous needs a broker.
    Anonymous needs to grow.

  7. Anonymous says:

    thanks for the advice, anonymous.it’s nice to know i’m unwelcome.
    so does Camille need to close her blog to anonymous ne’er do wells?
    i’ll leave when she asks me to…she knows how.

  8. Anonymous says:


    Yes, how did you think of this? Crazy! I’ll have to try it myself.

  9. jeff says:

    did it with my name, jeff, mine aren’t as funny as yours. tried your name too, was funny to see the references you listed.
    now your blog is on the google “Camille needs” search first page.

    another funny bit from a link on your google search;
    Camille Strate is an author and coach living in the foothills of Southern California. She is also on a quest to find the perfect pasture for all the pretty horses.
    so there’s another one.

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